Mardi Gras (1st of March)

Didn't really have a good morning with her starting of the day. I remember she was fully exasperated as I brought up my attempt to be an exchange student right after she said I wasn't independent at all, unlike one of her friends' daughter who helps her mum to do all the chores at home. She made me sound like one useless failure when she made the comparison between she and I. And I didn't even mean to make such a provoking remark by saying I want to join the exchange program. She was the one over thinking what my intention really was, which was rather a demand for her than a wish. But then again, I didn't want to make any of us to be so awkward, I told panpan not to worry too much. Maybe I should have never told him any of my family issues at the first place.

He was awkwardly greeting us once he saw us at the station, then he dragged me to walk with him ahead, and left her behind. It made me even more awkward not knowing what to do or if I should also ask her to walk with us. Btw we got several bottles of free coke at Belmore park but mine leaked with its lid open after I put it into my bag. I didn't know til we got to fish market after almost an-hour walk, spent some time picking what to order, and asked somebody what he wanted yet he said he didn't mind what we ordered for him at all. I started to be a bit cranky after we settled down, started eating, he then whispered to me saying he needed to get more food because the amount of seafood we had ordered wouldn't be enough for him. I mean, why didn't you tell me what you wanted in the beginning when I asked you for several times? If you did think it wasn't enough for you, you should have told me to get more, instead of saying you didn't mind but you really weren't satisfied with the amount of food we got for you. And definitely, you are eating a meal with a parent, not only with your gf, she's your gf's mum, what kind of respect you were showing there when you complained in front of her saying you wouldn't be full with the food she got for you. First kiddy act at fish market...another bad impression...

Anyways I sent some photos of raw salmon and fresh seafood to make my primary school friend jealous lol She is now working in Alibaba company where it's one of the biggest media industries in China. She told me she was doing her animation related project for her team as a part of internship she applied for. Sending her some tempted salmon photos was one way to get her less stress out.

We didn't really have an exact plan though roughly we did know where to go after fish market. We walked all the way back to Darling harbour to see what was going on at the Turkey Fest. There wasn't much to see. We didn't feel that captivating vividness either. Maybe we couldn't get us involved due to the fact that this culture has barely heard. Nevertheless, it was still a good chance for us to feel the diversity Australia offers.

A rainy day was hard to walk on mud, so as soon as we checked everything out, we left the Turkey fest and headed to one of the ice cream place where we could chill a bit there. A box of ice cream was shared by three of us. The two flavours we picked was almost identical from their colours unless you try them separately. It was a good time having ice cream with le panpan and mum in the arvo. That box of ice cream was like a universal message to share the infinite love. I don't know if two of them felt the same, but I did have one of the most memorable moment here.

The most exciting part here was starting from the time when we saw a bunch of people dressed up for the parade standing near Hyde park. These people were brave enough to show their upper bodies for people to take pictures with them. I was one of the exciting ones asking for their permission to take some pictures. Black is the colour they use the most to express their temptation and sexiness in this case. The ladies in black and a few muscular doggy men who got their nipples pierced swinging right in front of me, making me go quite amazed of how wild people can be these days. Human does have no limits, they keen to go over the limits, it can go so disgusting to its extreme. As a girl walked past me telling her bf how uncomfortable she felt when these guys act so sissy and all that, but hundreds of thousands of spectators like me, who came all the way to view this parade along Oxford St only found it as a spectacular moment to buy yourself some life experiences. It leads to greater happiness than buying any other possessions in my point of view. I admire western cultures in a way. The freedom to express individually, the freedom they have here is most likely public acknowledging whether you like it or not. It's the happiness they gain from opening up themselves, displaying their bodies to celebrate the most out of it. I have seen so many of them exposing large part of their bodies with their private parts covered. They weren't scared to walk through the crowd or being less confident to show their real body figures. Mum kept on asking me if most of them were gays and lesbians, I told her that some of them were just coming here to celebrate, doesn't mean they are ones. I even saw some guys with abs and nice asses struting with his Mardi Gras pride. I felt so short standing next to some tall ones with high heels on though, they were all the spotlight taking everyone's eyeballs away. Some of the guys who I believed were gays acting too alluring that I have once uncertained whether I saw a girl. There were quite a few of them worth watching, the tall one spoke Chinese to a crowd of people after they finished taking photos with him was too damn hilarious. Also this one with black feathers around his neck, black undie showing his nice ass shape and that pair of black high heels have made him totally a woman, much more feminine than women I saw on the street, even myself. Oh oh I also got some posters expressing the main purpose of Mardi Gars, which are diversity, equality and love. Though at the end of the day, I left all of them to panpan to carry back home...>3<

The only imperfection that day was that we were too late to look for a spot for the parade after we spent too much time on taking pictures. Hence, three of us had been looking for somewhere which could fit mum and I, two shorties to watch the parade, especially her who only came here the first time. Some people wisely bought their chairs to sit at the front, and stood up as they could. We finally found one but the guy in front of us was a jerk moving around in order to have a larger space to stand. He even selfishly asking us not to poke him with our bags for a few times. Like come on, it's so crowded behind you, can't you see? It's not like we wanted to touch you with our bags, just bear with it...

The parade started at 8-ish, was really one of the world's lastgest and beloved LGBTQI celebrations, as its official event page said. The excitement you got from watching different sponsors and actual celebrators brought the best view of all the glamour in the parade. Video capture is the best idea to record every detail that may be missed, it made it easier for me to see all those fast paced movements in HD version. Well, of course I shouted so much that my throat went dry. The atmosphere there was too overwhelmingly engaging, you didn't know what came next, but you couldn't repress your excitement once they arrived at your sight. During the parade, it had given me a feeling of all of the colours of the kaleidoscope come at once as though I have been living in a fancy world that only can be seen in Hollywood movies.

There was one old guy seemed so high at the front getting a kiss from the gays, having all the 'prizes' that some others possibly wanted that night. He doesn't show any indications of being aged from the way he acts, he was even more excited than us at times. I wish my parents can be like him who enjoys life so much when they get older because it's hardly to see anyone like him in the older generation. He accepts new things in new era, most people don't. But I was even more surprised when mum had gut to talk to them in English after the parade. Good on you mum xD

Tiredness after the parade had made me become super dumb at direction. However, it doesn't mean it was right to be judged by somebody who thinks I should know something yet I seriously was lost. Make sure this is a right thing to say before you actually say it out because this gf is so easily to be pissed off. Silence, my silence means a lot. To stop my crankiness, le panpan lifted me up before we went across the road...>.> then I laughed...

As expected, I know what she was going to tell me about the day once we got on board. To be honest, I totally agree with some of her judgement towards people. Seeing small things as insignificant and uncritical only shows how ignorant you are, being aware of surroundings and the ones next to you does require for effort to do so...

Lastly...I don't go against any belief. Mardi Gras may not be everyone's thing. It may be a combination of all manner of weird stuff walking on the street. But who cares? It has given me a great time laughing uncontrollably and another way of showing the convergence of creativity to enhance my joy of living...

Simple life (28th of Feb)

It's the last Friday before uni is starting next week, you need to be ready to activate that study mode. And the first thing to do is to sleep early and train yourself to wake up early thereafter. I mean I already have been waking up quite early these days, like 7ish, only for jogging. I love how loud music keeps me going for two rounds, but fact shows that it's actually my determination gets me to the finish line I set for myself every morning. It helps me to go through that uphill which I find it the most exhausted to overcome during jogging. Same as to study, it really needs the same spirit, perhaps it needs even a bit more...

Jogging, walking back, up and down and that 8 mins of workout have recreated my much healthier life this holiday. Even though I am still a bit slack chilling for several hours or more by watching some talk shows while I have my lunch here. And I may also do some random things that nobody can ever imagine when a person stays alone at home...Although it sounds like I didn't do much for the day, but I feel right to stay this simple sometimes. I am not saying doing nothing is a right thing to do in daily life, though enjoying life is the ultimate goal for everyone to reach, I am emphasising the 'feeling right' bit here, which I think that this feeling is a motive for you to start off something....So this is how I feel today :)

PS: weather has changed, please add more layers, don't get sick everyone :)  I am in my big green jumper here with my hoodie on like a koala..... x3

Getting ready (27th of Feb)

Yup...uni is starting next week, I should be resting more for having a better beginning of my yr3. In short, I read some articles about human brain changes as well as how people who are with high EQ may do in some dilemma situation. I only think that having high EQ can be good or bad because scheming, manipulative people tend to take advantage of their high EQ as well.

Btw the novel I got from the library a month a go is so damn good. I didn't get to read it til I actually have some time these days and it has maintained my interest for a few hours at late night before I went to sleep. Oh and Kael told me that he's got delivery to wait tomorrow, therefore he needed to postpone our outting to next Friday. This is the second or third time he changed it lool I do understand he's a really busy one, but he should've made sure he seriously hasn't got anything on the day before he asked me to catch up=.=

Anyhow, I already have made my whole year plan roughly both in my mind and on my note. Feeling great having a diary with me also. I believe that planning does help a person to be highly organised in some ways because it's more of a tool for you to have this urge to write something important down , hence you know what to do and when to do, not a mess, but makes your life neat and simple with higher productivity.....

Relaxing mode...(26th of Feb)

No I ain't joking at all. I seriously didn't do much for the day. The only thing I did was to watch some talk shows, having a great laugh at how entertaining the entertainers could be. But I've also learnt a bit of how women have to become more aware being hygienic than men when a controversial sensitive topic was brought up in that talk show. Ahhh and ex told me he's finally got some days off this week, looking forward to see this busy one on Friday :)

Oweek(2) (25th of Feb)

Music is able to get me all hype up at times. Like today, I was dancing around my house immensely like I almost forgot I would be late for another half an hour to meet up with Jenny at Central. But it was a really great time getting myself in such a good mood in the morning.

I didn't get to see Jenny til I got to UNSW and tried my best to look for her at the library. Later on, I got my arc membership renewed and led her to other stalls as she wanted to sign up for some clubs or soc. That project hope soc also persuaded her to join at the end, the guy was trying so hard to inspire her not just to focus on studies but to make the fullest of uni life by being more active to join parties and activities lool I bumped into my friend Simon at the quadrangle where he was standing in front of the stall with his friend as staffs to hand people flyers. I called his name loud to surprise him, then we talked for a bit after knowing he just came here to help. His friend helped both of us to take a few pictures together too xD Btw Jenny left so early after she was done signing up some soc, I walked her all the way back to the main gate, walked back to the HUB, chilling there for a bit while taking some useful booklets there to read. There was nothing much to do there, so I went back to the library ready to update my blog post. However panpan wechatted me the whole time even during the time when he was pooping. The fake constipated sound he made sure to make me laugh a lot, and a few audios he sent was meant to make me happy as well.

I didn't stay at the library for that long once I found out phone's battery was dying soon. Before I got in the train station, I bought a cup of chicken tenders and got free newspaper from that guy. I like how my life has become a pleasurable experience when you can sit back, read and eat at the plaza before you go home. It's still one type of productivity for the day..

Oweek(1) (24th of Feb)

UNSW's oweek is the best in my point of view, its unlimited freebies and interactive activities are worth to spend you an entire day there. I was late to meet up with my sister and her friends though. But I didn't know that Karen could be even later than me lool I got there and walked around alone for that one hour while waiting for Karen to come. Jenny and her friends were at upper campus so I couldn't be bothered to go all the way up there. 

Karen finally came from the other side of the campus and met me somewhere at the law building where I asked her to come over. I took her around and got some freebies from the stalls that seemed really eye-catchy. I even saw my friend Doreen standing next to the anime stall as a cosplayer and took a photo with her. Continuing with the walk for another half an hour or so until we saw a stall where gathered up a crowd of people there waiting for the slurpee, Karen and I lined up for around 15 minutes just for that. There was a few times I encouraged Karen to sign up for some sports clubs but guess she isn't into any sports>.> She only wanted to feel the Oweek atmosphere and get as much freebies as she could. Later on Corey asked me to go Jamberoo this coming Sunday on wechat, I showed Karen how funny that was as I already went there with panpan last Tues lool Oh and we lined up for my transportation label renew for nearly half an hour not knowing that was only for applying a new card til a lady came and told me to go to another line for renewing purpose. Then Karen and I went to the food court to grab some food, waited for her brother to pick her up afterward. By the time we were only a few steps away to get our free food at the lower campus, they said the sausages were running out =3=...

After Karen left, I went to sign up for project hope soc. I recognised the same girl who first introduced me to this soc last year once I got to that stall, I also told her that I wasn't accepted to be the media committee because it was too late for me to join this group. She then directed me to their fb page and asked me to apply for that again. Fingers crossed, there won't be any missed opportunity this time. 

I went back to the upper campus and stayed in the library for sorting out the booklets and sheets I got from some particular stalls. Panpan then called me at 3:40-ish, I picked up his phone call and had the most awkward talk on the phone recently starting from I walked to the bus stop to I arrived at Central. He bumped into Corey and Emily during the time he was waiting for me at Central. Funny how Corey asked me to go Jamberoo on wechat only a few hours ago and we met again lool Corey and I teased each other a lot, but panpan's bruise on his neck was suspected by Corey as making out with other chicks haha

Anyways panpan and I went to the food court, and I watched him to have his early dinner. He shared some fried fish with me but I ate so little. After that early dinner, he went straight to UTS, I followed. The first thing we did was to look for his lecture hall, then sat somewhere to chat a bit before lecture started. For some reason, we argued a bit and he left me for a few minutes...Asking me to look for him by sending me a text, I wasn't even bothered to look around to see where he was, until I saw him talking to two friends when I finally looked straight to the front, he waved at me, I turned around not saying anything. He hugged me at the back, kept kissing me roughly in his uni in order to make me talk back=.= Btw the lecture was quite informative and easily to be understood, unlike my own lectures which inclines to stimulate our philosophical thinking. I found it really interesting to pay attention to have this extra lesson even though it has nothing to do with my course. But the most depressing thing is that I only found out I lost my sunglasses by then>.> Oh well...

The first lecture only lasted for an estimated one hour. So he led me to his tut room in the remaining half an hour before actual tut started. We waited and waited there, saw his friend coming out from the same tut and they talked a bit. His friend thought of me as a dedicated one coming all the way just for him lool But no...hell no...it was just for myself to know additional things>.> lool I wasn't dare to go to the tut with him even though the class was actually really big and nobody would ever know who I am. Instead I sat outside doing my own blog post in that 90 minutes while waiting for him. He came out happily, telling me how energetic his tutor is as well as how much he loves to attend that tut on Mondays after work. I felt glad for him having such a great tutor, but I was just too hungry to say much...I was told that he has made a new friend, she even called me pretty as soon as she saw his wechat profile. 

Btw panpan was all hyped up on our way home. I could truly feel his cheerfulness when he decided to sit the opposite me, watching me to eat my burger and making fun of my chubby face when I chewed my food. Sadly he couldn't stay longer after we both dropped off from my suburb as the second next train back to Central only came in almost 2 hours lool Before he got on board, he told me something at his fastest speed which cracked me up a lot...

hehe...good first day of oweek :)

extra pain (23rd of Feb)

Clumsiness got me bruises everywhere over my body. Mum was showing how much she loves me by helping me to rub against all those bruises on both of my legs this afternoon after our lunch=3= I got yelled at a lot as I couldn't stop moving and rolling on her bed from the extreme pain I got from that enormous rubbing. She is indeed a strong woman...I don't remember how many times I swear to myself I gotta be really careful not to hit any hard objects so to avoid having bruises on me=.= But I still do...and the thing is, I only notice I've got bruises on some spots yet don't know when I hit something=.=

I was sobbing under the blanket like a little puppy was scared. Not to mention that the period pain I got was worsened because of that. That was like double kills for me to struggle even more than usual. I ran to the toilet during that worst moment as I couldn't stand my tummy pain anymore, and came back with two hands hugging my tummy tight, begging mum to rub my tummy before my legs. An hour later, I fell asleep on her bed, only woke up at 4:30pm...

The first thing I did was to check my email once I turned on my laptop. Then fatty called and I missed it, she was pissed at me for making my phone silent=.= And he called again, I talked to him for half an hour about my recent life, including those two days when I met up with my primary school friend Lin. He told her that her friend's dad, as well as her friend's wife's mum have passed away in the same month. Hmmm... cherish everyone around you for the time being, that's all I want to say...