(11th of Jan)

• Panpan was succeeded in convincing my mum to let me go out today yayyyy THANK YOU~!!! A BIG THANK YOU PANPAN!!
• Somebody kept calling me even though I was close to his house>.>
• We watched 'Polar express' animated movie in his house. I wish we could have watched it on Christmas hahaha 
• We stayed at Starbucks for a bit. It could be a really bad idea for me to have two different drinks within a short time but for panpan, nothing is impossible. His tummy has proved it. This kid has been talking to me about makeup knowing his gf has never applied makeup on her face in her casual outtings. But no, gf is a really stubborn person. She won't make changes for people unless she wants to. Even it might have been a great idea to have a better complexion with makeup on, but no, at least not now. I don't care what others think of me being so un-lady-like..But this is me...>.>
• We ate in food court tonight because sometimes, you do need to consider others' spending
• My indecisiveness drove him crazy. His attempt to pinch me on my ass has shown how annoyed I made him each and everytime whenever I pick something to eat>.> 
• I eventually chose a seafood dish, found a spot and sat down there to start onomnomnomnom-ing
• The chilli sauce killed me a bit. I couldn't even talk properly later on. 
• This person then asked me a weird question about if he could be a house husband staying home and cooking for fun while I work outside after we get married. Maybe? You know what...You can do all the housework panpan :3 ALL YOURS NOWWW  wait...there is one problem..who said I am going to get married with you..>.>
• Also I asked him how to reduce the roundness of my face without operating any plastic surgeries lol I do admit that we both have chubby faces when we smile...>.>
• This might be my first time to drink alcohol with bf. I still remember how my dad tried to get me into the taste of alcohol because of his own fettish. But the first time was worse than not trying, his recommended beer didn't work on me..
• After getting one can from the store, we were planning to go to the bus stop near my house to enjoy the rest of the night. However, I asked him to stay at the park for that 15 minutes, all he did was telling  me all sorts of terms and phrases of basketball game, and kept describing how significant competitiveness means to LOL...Rules, roles, experiences were all elaborated clearly yet I seriously wasn't sure if those information can get through my head. But I understand how much he loves games and how games have formed a major part of him to live this happily...
• Honestly it's hard to know what to talk about when I am with him since I don't know or good at the things he knows or good at lol    
• I've finally revealed one of my secrets that I've never wanted to let anyone know at this stage :/ And I was actually so glad that he can understand me this time, also the things he said have impressed me quite a bit without him even trying to be this knowledgeable all in a sudden. I like that type of thoughts and discussion about human emotion and interaction with my bf and hope we can talk like this much more :)

The agitated Korara..(10th of Jan)

Please don't hate me because I am such an agitated one recently. No, not recently, I've always been an agitated one no matter what. So this person not only forgot to text me today, but didn't reply in half an hour due to his malfunction of his qq or whatever that was..That real madness of Korara was like BOOM, all out, explosively out like lava from the volcano.

Next minute, we were back to normal like it has nothing happened. By talking about the gifts I made on anniversary and asked if he has found all my surprises on his usb. He told me that he did cry like a baby, but HAHA this is what I want...>.> The ring I bought him was off...but I already chucked the receipt away, this was really stupid of me to do that anyways=.=

Lastly agitated Korara becomes more cranky because mum doesn't let her go out tomorrow due to her sunburn over her face. That over-protectiveness from a mum can be understood. However, it's just sunburn mum...no biggies...Please let me out..... I am not a bird living in a cage man...T___T  RIP freedom..

PS: So panpan will be persuading my mum to let me out tomorrow, if she doesn't, he might even climb up and break in my house as a spiderman. Hmmm I try so hard to figure this heroic image out of panpan...ACT CUTE AND DAMN SEXAYYYYY ;)

Our anniversary (9th of Jan)

That awkward moment when you realise that you've been dating with the same person for a year and that it feels more like a dream when you are still making his gifts the night before you guys meet..That was how I felt the night before anniversary. But I just want to say...nah...whatever I wanted to say is all expressed as gifts I made, and my love has devoted to this guy for a year. By the time I have decided to date with him back in one year ago, that was also the same time to me, for making some changes. He is lucky enough to have a new me showing my full loyalty and all that. But I am lucky to have this chubby face giving me all these unnoticeable moments with warmth throughout this year. Despite the fact that he doesn't seem to get me that much when we talk, he has been trying how to understand me all this time. I know it has always been my own problem for keeping everything in, and selectively telling him only a small part of my life. Anyways, let me just stop here now, and continue with my anniversary post...(I don't wanna make myself cry when I type lol>.>)

In the early morning I was still making his gifts before I went to his house, as everything had to be tied up plus the notes had to be added on the sketch. That was really the last minute work but hope it was done perfectly because it's meant to make him cry..like a baby hahahah I was running late to his house, dropped my whole bag of gifts when he was away to wash his hair, hid everything behind the pillow on his couch, and pretended I got nothing to give him. After he came back, he asked me to unwrap his present, which I only wanted to do it at the end of the day but I was more than encouraged to unwrap those two beautiful boxes. Those two boxes were opened with my attempt to carefully unwrap. He was sitting on the side watching my overly cuteness acting as a kid when I did that, I heard his giggling, was full of the room. I have never had such a great moment with bf unwrapping an anniversary gift lol So here we go, a matched necklace, the smaller one is mine and the big one is apparently his. Later on we helped each other to put it on and took a few photos before we left his house.

It was the third time I went Luna park, and this time, was for our anniversary. That was the place in which brought us together. We met each other in a rather random friend gathering from Maggie, who was my high school friend, inviting a few of her friends to go Luna park with her friends from insearch. The first impression I had for this guy was flirty and playful, a player image was instantly formed in my mind that I cannot take it off though I've been knowing him for this long, and I still do think of him as a player sometimes whenever he seems quite flirtatious with his female friends...Hence, there are so many times of me raging for the same reason as this is the first time I've ever be this loyal...Anyways we went on every ride, well, most of the rides in Luna park. He felt unwell after all these spinning and swinging yet I got on one of the rides for several times, and laughed my head off seeing how one of the girls screamed the top of her lung. For this reason, I felt the ride was quite wonderful with some hilarious scenes watching there. There was this ride where it reminded of the time when panpan and Jake lifted both of my arms the second time I came to Luna park, this time panpan had attempt to do it again, but I was quite 'no fun', (as he said) holding the poles tight, so tight...

Soon it reached 5pm, it was time to leave Luna park and headed to our next destination, harbour bridge. He led my way to get onto the harbour bridge, we continued on walking. He was walking ahead of me and I followed behind. Silence, while enjoyed viewing the great scenery of something down there. The opera house seems that tiny from that distance, and I have never thought of me, standing here on harbour bridge now, to see something that I have only seen on my textbook when I was in China. It was more like a dream to me for the first time when I got to see Opera house, everything surrounded it, and the whole city, are this vibrant and beautiful. I asked panpan to take a few pictures because this walk actually means a lot to me, yet he wouldn't emotionally understand why. Thus he rejected my request to keep walking to the Botanic garden, but I seriously wanted to know where this way would lead us to, and what kinds of scenery I would be seeing throughout the entire walk on the bridge. It was rather unpleasant when we walked down to the bridge, my grumpy face was showing how unsatisfied I was. He then pulled me back to that bridge again. To my intention, I got lost yet didn't answer his phone calls >3< I am sowiieeeeee but this is how I am, a rebel >.> Ok...pretty dramatic ey...but but but but but I....hmmm honestly...sometimes I evilly felt good messing up with this panpan loool seeing his chubby angry face makes me want to laugh so hard HAHAHAHA >.>

So he was right...Going all the way to Botanic garden takes quite a long time plus we didn't know how long it would be taken if there wasn't any lifts to get down there in Circular Quay...but but again...It's just his attitude that pissed me off a bit when he rejected me, he could have rejected in a nicer way and made me feel better even though we didn't go. Like....I can't give an example...but I seriously didn't expect him to say 'NO...because I am not quite familiar with that place, also we can't find a place to eat' like come on...Don't you think it sounds so blunt to say that when your gf wanted to go somewhere on anniversary? In general, it's not what you say that counts, but how you say it...Once again, I can't think of an example but sometimes you are...blunt...so blunt...which makes me quite unhappy at times...

Italian restaurant was chosen, out of so many relatively expensive European restaurants in Circular Quay. I picked a table in the corner in order for me to look outside. I ordered a wild kangaroo ehhh with pink rice? I seriously can't remember the full name of that dish..=.= There is one thing I hate about ordering food in European restaurants when all the ingredients and sauce they list out of a single dish are hardly remembered once I walk out of the restaurant, each and everytime...Thus I keep making myself look like an illiterate whenever people ask me to recall what I eat..=.= After all, the cost of an European meal is three or four times of an Asian meal, paying $100 for three dishes is commonly accepted, in particular this is located in a upper class place.

We didn't go anywhere far but sitting in front of the Opera house. He talked, I listened, my sleepiness was the last thing to end our day...

PS: Finally found YOSHI restaurant!!! woooohooooo unfortunately didn't get to try this time as it only opens from 8pm>.< but but but but but but we now know where it is :3

(8th of Jan)

• I've decided not to take that course so I will be dropping it soon..
• Busy me have been doing something for that three hours after mum left home. 
• I felt great getting something done in the morning
• went to TAFE to ask about my media course. The lady told me that the courses chosen can only be taken as full time :S It sucks when you can't do your timetable in TAFE as well =.= That is indeed pretty pointless...Let me just look for another TAFE that offers part time studies and flexible timetable
• I got my thing after I shopped around, and bumped into Jennifer on my way to the train station
• She shouted my name in the crowd, I turned around and found her. We walked arm in arm to where she works. By taking her to that restaurant, I bravely asked if she can shout me free food in return lool
• Anyways I am seeing her on Sunday as we planned. I can finally get my ears pierced which I would've done ages ago...
• Mum seems so happy once I came back. I was told that she has learned how to make sushi. Then she started making some for me tonight hahahaha 
• was scolded by her for more than 40 minutes and that has really ruined my mood for the day. I was only defending my statement but it was more like I didn't show great respect to her...Alright, I might be a really bad daughter who haven't thought much about our family financial situation, and obviously I am not helping here since I am jobless. I absolutely get why she was so mad. The examples she used, were to tell me how wrong I said something...I am sorry mum...I am really sorry.. 

Summer course is starting NOW!! (7th of Jan)

• WOOOOOHOOOOO summer course is starting nowwwwww....I am shooooooooo excited...(not..=.=) 
• BUT but but I do admit that the lecturer is so funny. The first video he showed us was the distinction between education and training, and he used a short 6 min video of a scene of sex lesson in a movie to demonstrate this point of view. 
• He walked to the left and right, left and right repeatedly during his talk, and when he asked for a democratic vote whether we wanted to have a break, surprisingly majority of people wanted him to continue.
• He also told us about his past experience of marking a student's paper, the one is only required for 3400+ words but this student wrote 10+ times more than that, which was a terribly lengthy portfolio...47000+ words=.= LMAO He said: Please don't give yourself a hard time *whispers* and me....
• Anyways I napped in level 3 in the main library for almost 2 hours
• The tut was fine. I didn't know anyone there in the beginning so I randomly sat down with three people who seemed like they have already known each other for quite a long time, they chatted happily and smiled at me. 
• They three are musicians, doing music and education, the guy is a rapper and one of the girls is a DJ when we introduced each other in the first half an hour
• As Greg told us to ask each other something interesting about themselves such as our hobbies, favourite food. The guy firstly told me he's a left handed, it was really obviously as he held his pen with his left hand
• People are nice I assumed, the tut is not bad but notes have to be taken in order to partially contribute to that 1200 words for the second section of portfolio....    

(6th of Jan)

• I didn't jog today because of mum, she had to go to MTC to study English starting from today and I needed to take her there.
• I came back and started doing everything I have planned for the day
• She came back and told me how she has been in school for that 5 hours of classes. People there are only going to classes to kill some of their time, as she said. Even the teacher doesn't even take that serious if they are late or leave early, now you can tell how insignificant taking an English class in MTC
• The new policy is seemingly starting to take effect from next month. Mum told me that she was told that there is a large debate on the issue of medical fees. Some disagree the government asks for fees when we see doctors, but some agree that it would be a wise choice to be made.
• A real hard decision is waiting for me here. I am so hesitant to decide if I should take a course in TAFE after knowing my timetable will be really packed if that 22 hours of TAFE course are added in, not to mention that there would be work overload by doing extra 6 subjects btw... :S
• Nick is going to HK with his gf on the 15th and coming back on the 21st next month, which means, he won't be celebrating my birthday with me >< nuuuuuuuu....
• During dinner, I told mum about what I have in mind at the moment. It's something that she's supposedly to know. I won't sure what is exactly good for my future but all I know is that gaining some working experience is quite important to determine whether I should continue to study more in uni if I really have to do postgraduate studies. 

Because I need a rest, leave me alone....(5th of Jan)

Another ordinary day filled with nothingness but nothingness has already taken somethingness. Life is all about how you make more nothingness to somethingness, and keep making more of it to feel your own presence. Just like today, I jogged again with mum as usual. To be precise, I jogged alone but mum was staying there near the little playground to wait for me to go back. Today probably would be the last day mum goes to the park with me to jog, I have been appreciated to have more of this family time with her during this half a year as she doesn't need to work. But tomorrow, when I wake up, I will be taking her to MTC and her English course will be taken her at least 8 months to finish. She finally can participate in something.

I had another long talk with her when we had our lunch. This time she has brought up the issues of gossiping people. She's right, if you don't want people to spread rumor of that stories of yours, don't tell them anything at the first place because no matter how trustworthy this person could be, there is still a chance he'd use your stories as examples when he/she talks to others. 

Peacefulness is something that everyone needs, such as contemplating, is for you to leave everything behind in this bustle life. Though I didn't do much today yet I learn to be satisfied with little things around me because restlessness with life is rather a long battle, we all feel tired at times...

PS: Jealousy cannot stop whenever somebody talks to his close Jap friend. I raged at him for flirting with his female friends a lot even though I wasn't even sure if he is still doing this. Being super irrational due to my doubtfulness in this case. However at the end he bribed me with sweetness, his cliche sweetness >.> sigh...girls........ =.=