Chi market (25th of Jan)

Somebody put his phone in silent so he didn't know I was already down there at his house until I buzzed him for several times. I wasn't mad, I was rather awfully burnt in this heat and that I became even more impatient. Something I was taught was getting better as he said, but there is still a huge room for me to improve lol We went to watch Rush hour 3 in his computer room. It's clearly known why Jackie Chan has become a household name after you watch his movies.

Panpan and I then went to that New year Chinese market at Belmore park. We were having a minor argument about if I told him about Raymond via our online chat on our way to Central=.= I showed my grumpy face as I was tired of explaining...

I wasn't that as excited as yesterday when we arrived at the Chinese market though. We walked around first. Then we were attracted to a tent where two Japanese were presenting how to make raw salmon sushi and Sashimi. We stood at the front of the screen watching their ongoing process of cooking. With the beautifully cut salmon pieces, I was dreaming to have the sampling only if I was allowed>.> Anyways panpan bought a cane juice so we could share. We also bought some food from that Viet stall and found two seats there to watch the singing contest. He listened to the singers singing carefully and evaluate their skills from time to time, while I was closely falling asleep next to him. It was getting cold with the gentle wind so I wrapped myself up with my scarf, he cuddled me and slightly rubbing my left shoulder to keep me warmer. He went to somewhere and got back with three coconuts. I can't remember when was the last time I had coconut flesh...

He took me back to my suburb as usual, I didn't let him go instantly but talked for another half an hour at the platform. Watching a few trains were gone, he must have been thinking how mean his gf is>.> But interestingly, he has told me how tough his parents' lives were as the new immigrants in this country back in 20 years ago...Well....Life changes ey...

Syd Fest and Chi market(day 1) (24th of Jan)

My plan was totally changed when mum asked to come with me. I was planning to go travelling and exploring alone with my water and novel, like one of those adventurers in the movies. But guess I didn't pick a right time to leave my house, I walked down the stairs by the time she went up. Like DAMN... she asked me to go back home to wait for her to get changed in another 45 minutes>.>

But my camerawoman did a great job today, lots of photos were taken, and I looked good in some of them. The first destination was Hyde Park at St James. Three things that I remember the most are the food, folk in a box and that mini stage for car painting with several hot guys helping on the side. There were more than hundreds of options to pick what you like to eat. Nah...I am totally joking here.

I guess we were only going there to see what kinds of food they provided, instead of consuming it. But yes...it's already so pleasurable to see :3 Folk in the box made us to wait for almost 40 mins at the queue, but it was worth the wait when mum and I both were moved by the singing in the darkness. The song of that African was dedicated for his friends who are still in his hometown in Africa. Btw the car painting with several hot guys walking around was so eye-catchy. The car was so damn sexy, but they have made it much more smexy in a way by revealing their alluring abs lol

Later we headed to Belmore park where there was a Chinese new year's market there. It was quite fun though the weather wasn't that good at that time. Mum ordered a big bowl of Viet noodles for two of us to share. We also took a few pictures of that massive dragon, which was made up by Chinese kitchen appliances. And the performance was great. I love how those 3 hosts from Pop Asia >3< Especially the girl who seems like a super hyper one that might never have her depressing moments. The chopsticks game was so amusing to watch when kids were rush to the stage in order to get one position, and it was even more amusing when two contestants were trying to use the huge pair of chopsticks to pick up the prizes from the basket. Even my mum asked me to go and get something, but I wasn't that interested this time lol Oh oh oh and the kid who played the guitar, a kid that only looks like 5 or 6 years old was well performed. His rock style has made all the audience screamed and clapped, as though the stage was meant to be for him. After the show, she helped me to take a few pictures with the hosts :) Great day after all...

More fun will be coming recently... :)

Reunion (23rd of Jan)

It wasn't their fault keep calling me for several times before I actually left my house. Knowingly I'd be always late for an outting, Karen and Corey have spammed our group chat on FB just to let me know how early I should be there. Yet I don't go on FB this early in the morning, precisely, at noon, but I still don't go on FB this early >.> I finally saw 5 missed calls from Karen telling me that she was at train station 2 hours ago because of her grandma's appointment and that she had to wait there. I went on FB at once, reading their spams while I was having my mini lunch. Reason why I call it mini, because I had to save a large space to eat more when we went to that Jap meal and Karaoke combined later. Soon I left my house and saw Karen, she started complaining how early she has came here, talking to me non-stop on the train about her own timetable in uni. I show her how to get to those buildings and whether the distance between two locations is far with that limited time of break she has to walk from one to another. Additionally, I told her so much aspects that she doesn't know yet about uni, the courses she picked, the degree she's doing and what to do when she has problems with something and all that. She then invited me to go to wet and wild next Tuesday with her friend. The only thing I concern about will be the entry fee...But I'd have a second thought..

Eventually I got to see Corey and his gf Emily, a cute girl with an extremely cute face. They seem so matched when they holding hands and linking arms when they walked in front of us. Raymond also came today. I started teasing Corey and bullying him by saying I didn't care if he's hungry or not in the first place when he told me he's damn hungry. Guess we had too much fun in the Karaoke. I clapped for Raymond's amusing voice deliberately created our laughter each and everytime when he sang. Not to mention that Karen's powerful voice when she sings is different from how she usually talks with a anime-ish super high-pitched voice in real life. Everyone laughed damn much, to the point that I got sort of sore throat=.= I made Corey embarrassed a lot as well when his sushi, and scallop were taken by me once he started singing. I smacked him across his face when he wasn't listening to my order. Just teased him to the max, continuously made fun of him whenever the song has something to do with him and his gf. Like when we sang 'Apologize', I suddenly pointed at him and said 'say sorry to Emily'...He randomly hugged his gf next to him and said 'SOOORRRRRRYYYYY' all in a sudden. But what I've got in return was I got teased by him a lot. He did the same thing to me and kept calling panpan's name when it was my turn to sing...Funny how he recorded me when I sang it awkwardly, with hair covering my face and hiding from Raymond's back right after I felt awkward so much >.> But but but I just want to say....WHOEVER TOOK MY SASHIMI SHOULD BE PUNISHED!!! >:[ Each and everytime when I wanted to eat...the sashimi I ordered was gone in nowhere. I assumed either Karen or Corey ate them all, but most likely...Karen was the one>.>

Anyways we went to darling harbour because I said so>.> I am le boss here >:[ lool we couldn't really find anything interesting there, besides, we walked to the wrong side for half an hour unknowing which place we should really go. But we still had quite a bit of fun roaming around. Then Land and his friend Euga came. Euga is a very tall girl who seems a bit chubby and I've heard that she likes Land>.> wooooo we've got two pairs here *winks* Guess only me who wanted to take some photos of the big building reflection in the beginning. But Karen was dragged by me as I said I'd shout her a drink from hungry jacks if she came with me. Land was nice enough to join us though he only helped us to take some pictures on the side. It was only less than half an hour of waiting>.> I don't get why they were that lazy not wanting to wait for such a fun thing. Karen and I dominated the door and a window right above, we created some weird looking positions as though we were hardly reaching each other's hands like the tragic scene in Titanic. Land joined me later and crazily positioned himself as though he was on his way to climb a window like a thief. I did the same :3

Funny that I was the one wanting to do this the most when I am the oldest one among all of my friends who are only 18 or 19 years old. Emily and Euga are only 17 btw>.> Mehhhh... I don't care :3 as long as I am happy xD 7 of us went to play pool. Land wanted to vs me first for some reason, and guess what...he was super good in the beginning but I won the game at the end because he accidentally got the black ball in LOL The second game was Karen vs I, I won her by pure luck but the thing is, we both suck at that lol so.....hahah Land is relatively good but did the same thing when he vs Emily. Losing his second game which he had a really high chance to win because he got the black ball in was awfully depressing lol We laughed so hard at Land, who tried to defeat everyone yet lost every game he played lol When my brother Corey walked around the table, I closely tripped him over LOL >.> Raymond was having fun with his magical stick that brought him with a much higher chance to win the game lool As Karen said, she felt like she was vs-ing two sticks instead of one lool The Euga girl was only talkative with Land though, I heard them talking like birds in the cage haha xD

After pool, we started to think about where to eat. I suggested to go to the food court and everyone followed. See this is why I love hanging around with younger ones lool But they love me mwahahahhaha x3 That indecisiveness of Karen and I who had walked around for a few times yet still couldn't make up our mind to what to pick lol I ended up picking a Korean fried noodles with beef....YUMMMMYYYY!! :3 But too much>.> Land was quite funny though, when he talked, he spit on Raymond's arm and the table. We were all like.... O.O...Land...we saw that lmaoooo Raymond started to scream and act sissy-like...>.> Corey wouldn't stop teasing me even when we had dinner, but to me, I did the same.>.> Lastly we took a picture with Raymond's phone. Corey then persuaded Karen and I to get wechat >.> I already said I definitely will once I get my phone a few days later>.>

Crazy day was soon to end when Karen and I saw the rehearsal on the stage with a group of chairs at Belmore park, and the traditional lanterns are all hang on the tree with a massive horse is placed right next to the stage. I said to Corey happily, 'Hey...we should go and check this out!!!' Knowing what reaction he'd get, his non-response didn't surprise me lol I then linked my arm with the other arm of Emily's, and said 'Emily, you will go right? right? right? :3' Corey laughed at my childishness persuading his own gf to go with me, I continued 'Emily is coming with me, you can't stop her' Emily then said to him 'Yes, we are going, you have to listen to your sister :3' LOL I love this girl hahaha Corey went =.=||| Raymond's randomness has always been unbeatable as well, he asked all of us to stay for a few minutes. Seeing the smoke coming from the rehearsal on the stage, he said to Land and Euga 'They are exemplifying the environment and heaven..' >.> At the same time, Corey told us that he saw a few mice running across the park. A whole family of mice was seen right at the corner of somewhere. Karen was the one bravely going to that corner and observing them for a while, coming back and telling us how cute they are. I was like ewww....>.> She was like 'They are cute >3<' no....ewwww>.>

Before everyone left me alone T___T as they all from Illawara line....We took a few pictures next to the male toilet with hair on our mouths, pinched Corey's face as hard as possible>.> Evil me hugged everyone except Corey in front of the gate xD Awesome awesome day out with them :3 One of the most awesome day out recently :3 I love you bro and sis xDDDD

Came back home and talked to panpan about my day, we webby for almost 2 hours. Weird thing was there was something wrong with my laptop's speaker so that I couldn't hear panpan's recording T___T until it got fixed after I restarted the laptop...

OHOHOHOHOH....going to travel somewhere alone tomorrow!!! I can't wait!!!! I love my journey going places alone, and I haven't done this for quite a while. Sometimes you don't need others' company to make the experience special because you can make your own, that enjoyment and appreciation of seeing things alone is so wonderfully felt by heart... :)

conscientiousness...(22nd of Jan)

• so....my period was the reason caused me not want to go jogging today. However I still continued with my 8 mins of abs workout though my tummy was in real pain. 
• Mum lined up for getting the first token at the medical centre. I'd like to say, GREAT JOB mum...
• Feeling great to be the first customer seeing the doctor. Dr Chauhan filled in her form, prescribed me the repetition of my medicine but we gotta do the math ourselves if we really want to have the cheaper ones...
• After our lunch at somewhere, we went to Hurstville to submit her form. Unfortunately the lady who has made an appointment for her wasn't really a nice one. And the one who dealt with her issue was even more pompous, showing her stuck up face and said 'no, absolutely no, you can't reduce your studying hours and that's seriously not much' once I finished describing what my mum's problem is. Come on, people...we are living off our limited saving here, not like we are begging you to give us extra money, what we asked for is to reduce one hour only per day =.= However, I do understand their impatience towards people who ask for allowance because laziness is always the case, which causes lots of problems when the people who are really in need of the allowance yet can't get enough of payment, whereas the ones who better off, are entitled to get it. But when you really think about it,  government is doing a tough task here as well. People should have their self-conscientiousness to get what they are supposed to get but not something that they are greedy about, because you are the reason induce the inequality of the system and chaos :/
• Anyways I haven't been to the library for quite a long time, as in several years. Honestly the change of the library seems much better than before. Now, it's not packed but with more seats provided for people to relax and read there. The librarians are still the ones I used to know, they helped mum and I to update our info of our library cards. We then looked for a seat and I went to look for my books. I came back with a thick novel and a book for photography whilst mum lowered her head, reading the newspaper. Later, two people came and sat at the next table, the old lady spoke so loud and non-stop to her daughter in Chinese, making the environment like a market. So each and everytime when people complain about how loud and noisy Chinese speak, we really should think about why they call us that. Some Chinese really don't consider their own act in the public, and not scared of how people will see our nation. Hence racism happens for a reason, same as the above, others only judge you from what you have given off, negative only comes with negative...
• Panpan gets along with my brother Corey really well on FB. Maybe guys have this connection with guys, they already do though they haven't met in person. Talking about me not inviting him to my outtings...well>.> *cough cough* I should gang up with Corey's gf just in case they bully me after they become good friends or something..>.> btw I burst out laughing when he called him brother in law=.=...LOL 

A comforting visit (21th of Jan)

I wasn't allowed to go out today as she asked me to go to the medical centre and line up at 1:30. My plan was totally ruined so bf came over and visited me at the end. It was a rainy day, jogging didn't seem to be a good idea plus my period pain prevented me from walking too much. I met Panpan at the train station then headed to the plaza afterward. We sat there for almost an hour talking, laughing and doing something that we usually do such as tickling and pinching each other. I honestly was so glad that he'd come over to see me today, he even asked about the bruises on my legs that I got from yesterday.

The only thing I felt bad was I brought him home without mum knowing. We both were so tired lying on my bed and relaxed. Almost an hour of napping got us energized again. Before he left my house, we talked a bit in the last one hour. Once again, we've mentioned about psychological related issues, illusion and meditation. I specially like the moment when we looked at each other's face closely and quietly, that kind of feel as though two hearts are electrically connected with a strong attraction. His wriggly motion when he got changed was so amusing and cute :3

Anyways I failed to line up for mum because by the time I arrived there, the door was already locked, that is, they no longer accept any customers for the day. I then went to a Thai restaurant with panpan to order his food. We went to the train station and chatted a bit before his next train came. I told him how I've became so paranoid each time I bring a guy to my house when mum is away. And I seriously wanted him to stay longer but oh well lol somebody is busy. With my unhappy chubby face to say goodbye, he went on board and left. The last thing I remembered was he blew a kiss through the transparent window and hoping that'd cheer me up....

At night I talked to panpan again about my plans these days, what events I am attending and how much changes I have made so far as well as my improvement of getting more interaction with him and others . Sending him some of the pictures I have taken from New Year celebration in Hurstville and telling him what I really did on the stage was fun to share as well. Lastly...I like that recording of his...so comforting...as if you can feel the brightness and hope even in the darkest day lol

Ouch...(20th of Jan)

• Not to reveal the fact that I was punished for being late for a few minutes before mum's appointment. She is totally a mad person in some cases. It'd always be an unforgivable act in her eyes. 
• I got my physical punishment by her in the public and her sandal even flew away when she did that on our way to the plaza. But I didn't cry, didn't show any sign of sadness. Instead, I only stood there and let her vent all out so she could calm herself. It was the toughest day ever recently though. 
• Then I led her to change the product and she felt a bit more satisfied
• Unfortunately Mr Nigel told us to go back to get the doctor to fill out the form as a proof to reduce her hours, then hand that back to centrelink...
• She started to feel annoyed once she heard it. During our trip home, I didn't talk at all unless she asked me questions, I still acted quite normal as if nothing has happened. 
• I talked to game again on Fb, about what just happened today with mum. I felt much better when I was understood by him, a person that tried to ask me to think positively in this circumstance. 
• However she helped me to rub against my bruises with oil at late night. I know she does care for me all the time yet she doesn't have a better idea to relieve her stress. But you know, let's say she's still a woman, she gets mad at petty things at times, I don't blame her on doing those to me, but...CAN'T YOU LET ME RUB MY LEGS AGAINST YOUR BED SHEET WHEN I WAS STRUGGLING WITH THE EXTREME PAIN I GOT FROM MY LEGS BEING RUBBED BRUTALLY? =.=...
• OUCH..to the max....and thank god, I still survived....korara is a super hero T___T

Shocking news (19th of Jan)

Starting from the day I was being quite emotional because the loneliness has hit due to someone was still not home til 12-ish...hence I talked to quite a few people on FB to release my stress. One of them was my ex's brother, who is also a mature one like his brother, has told me his deep thought about what/how I should solve my problems in a way of doing what I really want, instead of to please someone. But in this case, that someone is my mum, knowing what's really in my mind would get her hurt so much...and I don't want that to happen.. But thanks for showing all the caring and some advice the best he could give to help me relax a bit. His inner peace gotten from a lot of meditation. With this, he is able to make proper decision and not to be afraid of the scariest. To his suggestion, maybe I should seriously try this to overcome some of my problems as well. I love how he asked me there is only one way to make yourself feel happy in my case, which is simply to accept yourself. I suddenly felt so glad for Kael to have such a brother. If only...if only I can have such a great brother like him, to share some of my problems and stress when I feel so lost and have nobody to turn to, perhaps I would have been much happier from time to time. Anyways lastly I asked him to say hi to Kael as I wasn't sure whether he was online. Right after I told him to do so, Kael popped up on FB and asked me why I don't say hi to him myself, then we chatted a bit about his brother, as well as his busy life. By the time I was heading off to bed, le panpan came online again asking if I was still here...We then talked until 4am this morning. Those voice recordings he sent are so cute and sweet specially the ones he said in the beginning. They almost got me cry as I was inclined to be emotional. The tone he spoke was attempted to make me laugh, and he did it. Thanks for panpan's effort to cheer me up, I seriously like that childishness :)

I basically only had two hours of sleep. I was awaken by mum's shouting at 6:30, asking me to go jogging. The only thing I have thought was, I have to do this, I can't stop this. Since that grim determination I have had the first time I made this decision, I have to continue this no matter what...I jogged along the park for two times, seeing the same people at the park almost everyday makes me have this feeling of how I should be more enjoying life, they all go to the park for well-being purpose, so do I. After I came back from jogging, I had such a great fun teasing mum around, tickling her belly fat fat whilst she tickled me back. I even asked her to move rightward a bit because I needed to start doing my 8 mins abs workout on the floor. That 8 mins of workout worth a go, I'd like to see how much it'd change me. 

If anyone thinks I am clingy, maybe I am. And I am pretty sure I got it from my beloved mum. She passes this to me. You can tell when two of us still have shower together, talk about something dirty yet never feel embarrassed or shy, call each other beautiful and have a lot of physical contact such as I rub my ass against hers, hug her from the back like what her husband would do, pinch her face, and stare at each other's faces, do all those cutie faces that two best friends would do. I believe mum and I have gone beyond the most intimate level of any pairs of mother and daughter that I've seen so far. 

Apart from everything above, I slept like a pig for 2 hours each before and after lunch. After I woke up again by mum's spanking. My potential step dad walked out from her room when I got out from mine. We had a grateful dinner together tonight though he has told two of us about a shocking news of what happened to his nieces who also live in here. There are so many similar incidents happen throughout this world, but when something really happens to your family, I don't think anyone can stay calm and report to the higher authority alone. I truly bow to his bravery here. And I hope that everything will be alright at the end. It is an extremely hard decision to be made when it considers both nieces that he has the need to take care of, but who really has most of the responsibility here, the man or the women? That's something should be most struggling with when making that decision...Best of luck though...

PS: my calligraphy status update on FB is really from my inner voice...I do need to give my life a makeover..