Mildly nerdy (12th of April)

Another deep conversation between mum and I during our lunch time. She heartily suggested me to change my lifestyle and have much more happy times when I am still young. Without knowing what will happen to you the next second, next minute, next hour or the next day, you only live at the present.

I finally finished those two obnoxious posts for my online course discussion forum. A great topic to be explored. I suppose I am getting to know more about AI, its limitation, ethics and animal languages and similarities to human behaviour lol...

I can finally start up my research proposal. But choosing a topic does take much more time than writing its actual contents. Preparing for all the resources I can put into it while being picky to ponder about what a specific topic I find most interesting with...And I have decided to do a research of flappy bird, which leads to a question of why people are quite obsessed to such a simple yet complicated game. This is closely linked to the conceptual framework of how behaviourism affects player's desire to repeatedly achieve their goals. Well, let's just stop here...Not going to expose too much in my personal blog post ...

Her bf came to visit her again. I particularly like to see two big KIDS were fully occupied to take out a tiny splinter from his finger. I wouldn't say that was scary to see them using a needle to do it, the scarier thing I found was her screaming, yes, her high-pitched screaming has caused me half deaf...=3=

Ahhh and it's time to install my illustrator so I can continue with my work and start my portrait and comic strips....Dang...such a short post here compare to the previous ones lool

PS: spent the rest of my night figuring out how I could install my illustrator properly =3= computer noob is me...I needed extra help from somebody...I am so sorry.......

Desensitised or no? (11th of April)

First time ever someone hung up on me by accident before I got to say something but I found that quite funny as that lady called my home phone back a minute later apologizing. Ok, so the call was a booking for a dinner on the 22nd at Club Rivers. Yes, a free dinner with a presentation of how to improve your sleeping quality at the club just opposite to where we live.

Well...not going to write big chunks of paragraph for this post tonight. (LIE...another long blog post I suppose..) I wish I could have been out on Friday night but nah, studious me need to have a much longer study session alone because time flies and that I need to plan my schedule ahead. I have no idea why I'd check out some horror movies though, what has led me to watch the trailer of Carrie? I seriously don't know...

She seemed so happy for having a great party in her class today. She even went to a ferry trip with her friend after they finished classes. That excitement I saw on her face was nothing new. Knowing that ferries do take her to go somewhere further than where she usually goes, she hopes to take me there during our Easter holidays.

Btw, Tony Abbott has claimed that the black box is confirmed to be the missing jet MH370's. Despite I don't like seeing this guy's face when he makes speeches on the stage, it was still a good news to be heard. So now Australia will be striving for its best to keep searching for the one and only evidence left, hopefully the black box can be found before it's expired. Most importantly is that, no matter what really happened in an incident and how hard it is to find the last proof to cease everyone's questioning, nothing can really come to an end unless the truth is revealed to the world. Bringing back to media which I think it does a lot to influence people's mind as we know, its power can even screw up a country. Just by looking at how much impact this incident has to tourism in Malaysia, sure it's declined at a drastic rate due to its worsened reputation. Tourism does take a huge part in every nation's revenue, hence it's fairly self-explanatory that losing a massive amount from this sector will only create an ongoing downhill to its economic growth, resulting in a causal-effect-relationship to other aspects too. *I am a bit carried away again....*

Nevertheless, LOOK FOR THAT DAMN BLACK BOX !!!!

OK...so hmm somebody has been convincing me to go to his meeting especially a fishy feeling I had towards him when he still consistently inviting me to go on Fridays. You know what's happening there when he put emphasis on two words: dream and help. Personally speaking, I have dreams and I only do down to earth actions, I don't think making such a change to chase a dream is that realistic compare to what I am doing now. And for the helping bit, you sense it isn't right when somebody wants to help you that badly when in fact, you will be wondering what this person can get after he helps you out to reach your goal/dream? Then a n assumption comes straight to your head: isn't there a force behind driving him to be this motivational to help you? Think about it, we aren't even close. Nice people, perfectly nice people, are non-existent, or rarely existed. Nobody is a hero to help people without any benefits. This approach is seen to be obsolete if one has encountered once in her life knowing what they called a 'dream' is only a lie. They have this tendency to make it sound big for you to imagine what you will be like in 5 years. The same old trick to attract people to join their association. I mean, if you really have time to persuade people to sign a contract or some sort in order to reach that certain goal in 5 years, which you may take a risk of having nothing in 5 years, why don't you go back home and take an entire arvo to contemplate what is really the best for you to do something more realistic. *sorry I have once again written another chunk of bs...* Plus...meditation is good for feeling more of your surroundings since people are getting too desensitised these days...Only a side note here...meditation does do good to human health etc AND good for your future too!! ok...I am out of context here...So hmm back to somebody's persuasion...I am not saying this DEFINITELY won't get you anywhere but in most cases, current stage and in this materialistic world we are in now, is too corrupted. Letting your dream run wild possibly can get you a reality WHEN YOU FALL ASLEEP, but not really IN REALITY.

Lastly....Somebody has sent me a long message at 10pm. Keeping a relationship is damn hard. I know that having a busy life with other things have taken most of his time, and also know that there won't be any options in his life sometimes. I am not complaining or anything, and I don't need anyone to understand me completely. I only hope to have some connections and we don't seem to have much. But he's right, cheering up a gf is a difficult task, especially to this girl who tend to think a lot. But now I don't think I interfere in any aspects in his life since I don't even see/talk to him that much, and when we do, we either have awkward conversation in person or he takes some time to reply online. The former is not that I can help, and the latter is...not that he can help...So it's not that I don't know how to have a positive thought to establish a more positive relationship with somebody, it's just life has caused much more than learning how to be more peaceful. Beyond that, psychological burden induces irrational mind in every way, but isn't this life? Problems occur when we interact with people, we solve one problem then lead to another one. To couples, we have mutual agreement sometimes but not other times, and most of our time being together, problems have been always there, a lot of them are hardly revealing too because the more you tell, the worsen relationship you can get. Nonetheless, I am not saying talking it out is unimportant, but anyways, it's just...just...like...hmmm...*stuttering problem...* it's good to have his suggestion of how we can do some minor things to at least get to each other. It sounds good anyways. And...I hate to say this...but I am soft hearted at times...Do you know how lonely you can feel when typing a long post here at late night particularly it's partially concerned with a sensitive topic which now happening here? I am not heartless, I do mish that panpan~

Lessons learned from interaction (10th of April)

First of all, the short clip 'Spider' has a great plot twist, I mean, two great plot twists towards the end. When you think a girl gets distracted and pops out of the car because she gets freaked out from the fake spider, her bf then throws it at her as a prank and she gets hit by a car would be the end, you are actually wrong, the latter scene where the paramedics are going to get the girl a shot but one of them sees the fake spider under the girl's arm, freaks out so accidentally the needle goes in the guy's eye who plays prank. Really interesting hmm. Another animated short film 'the cat piano' is more of a poetic piece conventionally tells an heroic act of a anthropomorphic cat who takes action to rescue numerous citizens in the town whom got kidnapped by a humanoid figure in the incident of the cat piano. Throughout the film, deep black and blue style is one of the components I find really compelling. The atmosphere it creates have given the viewers a preconception of something horrific and disturbing might happen. As the story progresses, the paranoia and mysteriousness unfolds alongside his attempts to save those missing ones. Great visual effects!! Great narration overall :)

Other than watching two short clips in the class, we were taught to write screenplay. That's very easy for me since I've done a few for others before. Then there was this activity for everyone's practice to know how to write one with correct format. There were some contributing to our creative 'AIT' screenplay in the class. With everyone's different ideas to put in our class screenplay, our story ends up like this: One sunny morning the lecturer stands in front of the class teaching us. Suddenly a fell dragon crashes in the classroom and eats George (one of our classmates who usually sits at the front), Then Peter (another classmate who sits behind George) says: 'this is why you don't sit at the front'. And Ashburn (my pre-production classmate) plays out the song 'bad day' loudly...blah blah blah... This is why I like AIT the best, the vividness we have here is far more interactive than what we do at uni..

And I sat with Gold today so it's much easier for me to ask questions when some problems occurs when using illustrator. He's certainly not in the same level as us. The fastness he got his work done as well as the flexibility to know where to find the tools, how to use a particular tool and make connection with other tools to get the effects you want has impressed me a lot. And he said he'd teach me other skills after our pre-production class. I swear sitting with him is the best thing ever in my digital images class.

I was still working on that tutorial task during my half an hour break. I was becoming so into this project that I nearly forgot to attend my pre-production class until I checked my watch 10 minutes after the class started. Soon I walked back to the other side of AIT where I attended my pre-production class, everyone has already settled down. Waiting for Pai's presentation, our own presenter today would be talking about a story of only one character involved. For me, her short film is explicitly reflected so many teen's problems nowadays as 'Diet' is something we've heard quite often from so many girls. I like how her visual images have illustrated so much more from the synopsis provided there. The remaining one hour was for us to do a short screenplay with 3 or 4 pages as a practice. Everyone had to work on their own in the computer room with a limited contents the teacher offered from the synopsis. Given that the synopsis is about a guy waits for his coffee at a long queue until he sees an attractive girl and attempts to hook her up. The first attempt of the conversation is a fail; the second attempt he tries to compliment her but turn out to be an offensive situation; and the last attempt he finally gets to have a date with her. Pai came to ask me how much I had written half an hour later, she was surprised that I was nearly finished.

Anyways after the last class we had, Katie, Pai, Gold and I found a room to work on our unfinished tasks. Gold was only there to help me out, I didn't want to waste too much time of his because this guy still needed to get his presentation done tonight. So he taught me how to overlap different layers to construct natural sense of a portrait and using some other feather effects etc to create the shadows. After he left, I asked Pai about our third tutorial task which I was late at that time and that I had no idea what to do the rest of the class. She patiently taught me how to use pathfinder to overlap my hidden layer and to group three objects together to make a clipping mask, wrap the shape and use reflection tool to make a heart shape. You only find something simple when you get how it works. Anyways looking at how she effortlessly was doing her spider man image in less than a few hours, it turned out so well even Katie and I couldn't help to stare at her work, and take several pictures of it. Btw I was told that Pai was once a graphic designer...Great...I can ask her so much more about what a graphic designer does...

Sad thing is, my mood was totally killed by mum all because I forgot to tell her I'd be late to get home tonight. Saying that I never care how she feels, judging me so negatively only because of one mistake I make, I was only silently chewing my food. And the voicemail greeting of my number once again popped out which has charged her when she called me for a few times, yup...this is why she's so mad...Anyways I guess I am getting too used to someone's madness up to the point that I become so cold. It can never be a good timing to say anything during the time when she's mad, the only solution to calm her down is to listen to her blabbering. Anyhow, seems like I have been having some unhappy moments since I came back home lol Even talking to my panpan that is. We had a minor argument because of an unnamed retarded reason before we went to sleep...It's been said that life is indeed, not so much about what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you. Maybe emotional instability is that some of us have this tendency to make a big deal out of small things. But honestly, it's not really that you've got better reason to argue back or not since dealing with your love ones is not about winning or losing, so be generous to them, let the argument cease...

Happy everything....(9th of April)

waking up early to do my blog at 6am...I don't know how such dedication can get me anywhere because it was still a blog post to be done in a rush. I only got up to half way before I packed everything up and headed to AIT. Morning class was a pain in the ass, everything is compactly taught by a few slides on that tutorial file, and teacher only ran through everything in half an hour. The rest of the class was for us to get our task done. Knowing that half of our tutorial tasks will be marked as 20% of the whole course, everyone was panicked. Majority of us haven't even submitted one single file of any tutorial tasks over these 4 weeks. And she went on saying we all had to hand in everything by next Thursday. Even a hard working student like me still got 2 more unfinished tasks to do....Busy days start quick, everything has piled up from both AIT and Uni. Mod, on the other hand, was all chill out sitting next to me during our class. He asked me how to fix his minor problem of his spider man task when I was nearly done with mine. And Gold came to ask how I went. Without his help, I wouldn't be able to know where to find pathfinder and select the second one to reveal a layer at the bottom. Most of the time, we have written everything down but we don't have enough time to think and practice the tools. You got to have a really clear mind to remember what each tool functions or bonds to another tool. To get that straight to your head, sleep earlier the night before. That's why I hate having digital images class in the early morning because we just have too many things to memorise.

Anyways Gold waited me to get my task done so we both could walk back to train station together. You seriously can't tell what age a person is when their appearance can disguise them so well lol I was surprised to know that he's 27 who has been in a military service for 2 years in the past. A bit of confusion to his travelling experiences but such a good personality he has there.

Oh and I skipped my jap tutorial once I got back to uni. The first thing I wanted to get it out of my way was my media blog which was due at 2pm. I couldn't stop that anxiety until I finished that post though. And I was once wished that Joyce could ask me to have lunch with her today because seeing her should have brightened up my day.

Remember not many people went to the lecture a few days ago? Andrew wasn't happy today...I mean even some students did go to his lecture, his theoretical talk is too theoretical to be understood by majority of us. Every speed dating we have for each tutorial is the most frustrating time to make up something for the concepts from the lecture and possibly the readings we do. We had five terms to talk about today: Algorithm, latency tolerance, data set, linked data and entwining(not sure if I spelt it right...>.>) infrastructure...Some girls such as Georgia, the one that talks heaps has participated a lot during our discussion in the whole class. She told me that she only got her blog done this morning, a redo version you could say that lol Poor her didn't get to save her work before that epic lagging happened to her laptop last week...Andddddd I like that video Andrew showed, the one in relation to dating sites in terms of how algorithm works as a formula to match up people with similarities, is contended by some scholars who don't agree similarities between a couple will be an evidence of good marriage...

Ok...I was all exhausted after my media tutorial but guess what, the game 2048 has made me awake somehow while I had my first meal today at 4pm...Natalie nearly walked past me when she was on her way to our Jap class, I saw and called her name from far away, so she turned back and found me onomnomnom-ing with phone in my hand playing the game. We walked to Mathew building together. I finally got to see Kai again after two weeks. More importantly is that I finally got to sit with Jacob, him and Natalie at the same table. It was the first time our group united after 2 weeks someone was absent, I was late and asked to sit somewhere else to pair up with a brownish guy...I like how Jacob sounded so smart in trying asian language, his fluency and sentence structure is perfect. However, my friend Kai has been having a hard time there. He has to re-learn everything as he told me that he's pretty much 4 weeks behind, so I was patiently teaching him everything I could for him to catch up a bit faster. We were stuck in every exercise we did because Kai had trouble doing almost every exercise. I think that we need a study group here, maybe I should ask him to study with me next time as there will be a conversation assignment coming up soon and most likely he'll be my partner. And he obviously isn't fine at all, we both are sick, but he is even worse. Anyways Jacob banged his arm to the automatic door when we both walked out of the building. Silly one didn't watch out lmaoo...Not trying to be mean, but I actually laughed my head off...

Ahh and and and the new buses are shooooooooo cooooolllllll...Its large space, provision of bag area as well as the comfortableness of seats have given me a feeling that I was travelling to somewhere much further. I really wish I could have a nap on this express bus and find myself end up in another place when I wake up lol Strange thought there...

Lastly my loving mum bought me quite a few decorated chocolate animals for Easter celebration and put them all on my laptop. To create that surprise, she even turned off all the lights loool When I came back, I saw and went to the kitchen hugging her at the back. Lovely family time, I am embraced with so much love there...Not sure if that's from mum or panpan, yes....Happy monthsary there too fatty :3 Thanks for being so stubborn with me. Our bumpy ride will be continued on in no doubt...And please don't make another new high by calling me 30+ times again or else I'll be drown from your river of love lool Before I finish this post, I just want to say wub you, but don't you think our sexy photo might be too much for an event page? Ahhh we don't actually need that, I believe our sexiness has already gone beyond the highest level of smexiness because the creation of our event page is just shoooooo damn cute....No need to thank me for coming up with this cute little thought in the beginning throughout our relationship, well...coz I am Korara...le cute and amazing Korara as you said :3

Mix (8th of April)

After knowing we still have to go back to the medical centre a month later, she was a bit unhappy. But leading her to the shopping centre to ask about something she wanted, she became a bit cheerful like a child. We came back with two bags of fruits. And it was time for me to call MTC afterward. It might be my fault for not picking up strange calls which possibly from MTC at times, but today after I made another call to MTC in order to tell her provider to change the date of her appointment, the receptionist told us to wait for the provider's call later. Yet we once again, never receive a response from him. So I ended up calling them back the last time after a few hours of waiting, another receptionist then said they'd get her an interpreter so I don't need to go with her on that day. Despite the fact that she actually wanted me to go with her not only because I can help her to interpret, but also she will feel much calmer with my presence, this time she didn't say no to them because she didn't want them to have any doubt of anything. Problem solved. I could finally get back to my studies. Before I started my plan today, I recommended her to play 2048. Soon I downloaded that game for her. She has been enjoying playing it a lot :3...

Reading so many articles all for data and algorithm today. Not to put a whole chunk of contents here to disgust the readers with those epic readings. To summarize some of my ideas here: data serve as our partial memories, or you can say, to help us to see the blind spots in our field of vision when humans have plenty of weaknesses putting ourselves at a disadvantage to remember things happened in the past. It's using to determine every change at the present and function as the given revelation of future. So I'd say it allows comparisons and experiments much more plausible. And another term-algorithm in terms of media is equivalent to unseen assemblages, which everything should have its own agency to operate, and interact with others. We know it's there to build up the entire network but every node of the computing architecture is naturally embedded in every electronic object which we only take it for granted. Given an example here, edgerank is not a noticeable thing we see on Facebook but we feel it. Not sure if there is anyone ever wondering how affinity, time decay and weight of contents in terms of media associated with what shows on your newsfeed, because I did. Anyways, trying not to be carried away and bored my readers here, briefly saying, all these I have mentioned are according to the theory of algorithm which is unarguably benefited the content strategy by a set of analysis of collective interaction gathering from all the users.

What I said might not make sense to some particular others>.>

Just a side story before I finish this post...When one's making some comparisons between a few relatives of mine as well as saying how much she misses those old times when grandpa was still there with us, I remained silence eating my food all this time...You look through what values and traits people possess; you feel pity for one and happy for another; you have that emotion to be touched; you have your own perception to make someone your closest or furthest; you feel so much also keep so much more than you actually feel...I guess the simplest thing to keep that balance between values and emotions is to act innocent. In most cases, truism could only contaminate your soul...

Dedicated one..(7th of April)

I haven't interacted with nor seen any of my friends today at uni. But I felt so good as I've done everything I should including my previous personal blog post and another one comment to the discussion forum an hour before the deadline for this week. Jap lecture was all good except that I was sitting at a corner where I needed to ask a person next to me what this and that was from the screen. I guess Andrew must be so disappointed only seeing a minority of students go to his lecture. I mean, he is a really understandable lecturer who's attempted to lessen the academic level of our epic readings as knowing 90% of us won't get to read the whole thing. It's in fact the contents that so many people are getting bored at it, but not Andrew's problem being a boring lecturer. But hey...I sit at the first row each and every time listening to every bit of his 90 minutes fast paced teaching to the point that I am so scared to miss out any important points that are not on that slides. He occasionally adds some of his own point of view based on what he provides on the slides, so now everytime before I go to that lecture, I need to make sure I have a brief idea to what this lecture will be about. Anyways...Somebody looks so handsome tonight. However, it was sad that he didn't get to do his pitch though he was all dressed up...>.> Lastly.. yes, I have my reason to change my pw~

Warmth (6th of April)

Calvin was shoooooo good today :3 I was glad that he has done some work last week except that he was quite naughty at times, especially during that 10-minute break we had, he was all excitedly to show me his yearbook photos as well as the girls who have crush on him not knowing whether it's true or not lol There is a section where it shows some of his friends' comments on why they like a particular fruit they eat. This kid called Dylan says 'I like bananas because they are yellow. Bananas look like a phone. I like to pretend I am talking on the phone with my banana!...And another kid loves bananas because of the curved lines >.> loool That's something I like about kid, perhaps the only reason that I like about kids. Just like Calvin, he sneezed for multiple times in front of me and not willing to cover up his nose after I asked him to have some manner...I don't think he has ever realized how gross it is to tell somebody he might have booger on his shoulder after he sneezed. I only found that quite funny by looking at his innocent face with typical asian eyes looking at me while rubbing his runny nose. There was quite a few times he was trying to see how I'd react towards his answers. Not sure if he got the right answer to the question, he took a deep breath, and whispered to me...And that perplexed look was so priceless after I explained how to distinguish what an adverb is in several situations. To make it much simpler, I summarized three points succinctly to ensure he gets the gist. But I really need to say he's actually a smart and caring kid. During the rainy day, he asked me to wear more. Not to mention everytime he did ask if I bring an umbrella too. But maybe our friendship has gone beyond what a tutor and student are supposed to be like, he only treats me like his sister not considering the appropriateness to say something such as... bra. *touches my back* I can feel your bra...Also helping me to pull up my shirt when it was falling... =3= Teach me how I should have reacted lol>.>

Ahhh I guess I have done a lot for the day since I woke up at 6am (5am). And you do know daylight saving starts from today, so by the time I was up, it was only 5am...To comment on another person's blog post and write up my own blog post didn't really take that much time to do as I was determined enough to get them all done within 3 hours, and I made it. Discussion forum was another part that I have to finish after my shower though. Anyways...I felt the parental love when there was this father holding the umbrella for his son whereas himself was getting all soaked exposing to the rain before they crossed the road. Thinking that my fatty did the same thing when I was much younger back in 10 years ago, I smiled. Little things like this are hard to be ignored...

PS: I guess when love is gone, as soon as one has changed, the other person has to confront what has left there. Sometimes even I feel so pity to see them being in this situation in which distance is the major problem driving them apart...