K dancing contest (23rd of August)

I was randomly asked if I was buying this book by this guy when I was waiting for Haiwon this morning>3> Anyways...I got Haiwon a cheeseburger from hj upstairs at Central because she doesn't want to spend too much on lunch. I insisted not to get her to paid me back, so she also insisted to shout me after the kpop show later...

We talked so much about this internship program as I mentioned that I might not get accepted since I still haven't received their calls lol...I might sound a bit upset for saying how I thought others were way better than me, she then went 'You're really good too. It's just you don't have that much working experiences'...I continued to talk about what really happened during the interview on our way to UNSW. The bus was so crowded though. If I was the only one catching the bus, I would wait for the next one. But she wanted to go there earlier...Nothing could stop my urge to tell her everything though we were standing at the back of the bus and being squeezed by people uncomfortably.

So we arrived 15 minutes later. Walking all the way to that building where we thought it could be a long line by now, but it wasn't. There was this empty hallway with a few people sitting there to sell tickets. Perhaps we were way too early to get there when everyone else was still on their way to come here...Haiwon spoke Korean to that girl, and she gave us two tickets. Then we were asked to sit at the back to wait til 2:40. During this 90 minutes, Haiwon and I were having our time, one of those times again talking non stop. Just everything, everything that happened recently. So she taught me some Kpop thing etc. I even learned this term in English since I never knew til she told me hehe...Thanks Haiwon for being my dictionary :3

Before we entered the theatre, these three little performers got changed 10 meters away from us. My perverted side was out by staring at this child nudity appeared right in front of me, Haiwon then laughed at me being super random...

Finally got to get in the theatre at 2:30ish...We were going to sit at the front, the second row where it labelled with 'media'...This lady said the seats were reserved, I joked around that I do have something to do with media x3 She laughed her head off and said 'yeh, might be your future seat.. haha'

Half an hour before the contest actually started. Haiwon and I picked seats at the third row on the side. For some reason, she started to tell me how her mum lost her handbag yesterday at the buffet. And the police only found her empty wallet. Keys are gone, bag was found at the riverbank...Really sorry to know this :/

Time flies...Half an hour was gone along with our laughter. The show was shoooooo awesome. 12 groups of competitors danced for once, showing their great passion for kpop, Korean, or simply dancing. We were amazed how dynamic the dances are. Some of their performances gave me this feeling of me watching a circus...Though some of their style ain't really matched with their age...BUT BUT BUT...A group that was meant to perform Crayon pop's songs-Uh-ee, bar bar bar etc was shooooooo good!! Giving a thumb up to their unique choreography!! I think I haven't gone this crazy recently by screaming my heart out :3 The best feeling ever to scream and shout...if not all, but most of the performances...Oh and Dami Im...the winner of X-factor last year came as a guest woooooo...Ok honestly, I didn't know her til Haiwon told me haha xD

I made a video recording when she sang on the stage x3...Sorry I ain't a fangirl...But but but...her voice just sent me to heaven *dreaming*... Almost 3 hours of craziness was over, that Crayon pop wannabes gained their 3rd position, which I seriously thought they should be the 2nd or 1st>3<

Haiwon and I were still in that mood of shouting loud, even after the show. So we had our little time talking a lot on our way to the bus stop...Btw...I took soooooo many photos today :3 weeeeeeee

Thanks AGAIN for giving me such a good day....We might see each other again next week... ~ Oh and thanks for your shout xD 

Goodbye to lovely Hongki (22nd of August)

I skipped all my classes today just for this crap....After several hours of working on this crap with lots of research, referencing, removing things such as sources ain't good enough to support my argument etc...I finally submitted my work half an hour before the deadline...

I went to see my lovely friend Natalie and take some photos with her with her friend's help. Telling her a bit of my interview as she asked. Seeing this lovely face, hugging this tiny body once again before I left made me go a bit moody. Knowing that I might never see her again, she asked me to contact her on wechat or skype...So that was it...I wish her to have a safe trip, a good time back in Hongkong, just have a great life there...Hope that we'll meet one day in the future :')

I didn't go back home right after that. Instead, I needed some time alone walking around the food court at St James westfield...I ended up having a full set of meal with burger, fish fillet, prawns and salad...

And I am sorry that I dog you for going out with friend tomorrow because I assumed that you'd not have time for me again like other times...But free entry for a Korean dancing contest will be really worth watching, so I chose that over you...Well...just hope that you'll be having a good day resting or chilling...

Say GREAT to my corrupted file.. (21st of August)

Having lunch with Katie and Pai was the highlight of the day. We three went to central and got on this dodgy lift going up to this Jap noodle bar. They both asked me about my group interview. To their comfort, I was smiling off how I really felt when bringing up this topic again...

Pai, in particular, told me a lot of things she went through when she was still a graphic designer. Her luck to be accepted by that company which she didn't think the boss would pick her, and when her senior told her off as she got caught on watching Youtube during work...I presumed that she was trying to say, not getting something I want is nothing, chances are...Chances are everywhere, and when I really get into a real job, dealing with people, working environment, just any factors may affect you in any second will make everything even harder...Sad that I had to go back to AIT to do my work, or else I wanted to talk to her even more...

But I ended up having another bad day after halfway done my thingy at AIT...As I came back from there, I opened my file and found that it got corrupted...Shock was more than any feelings that I could describe...Depression of losing the file? No...not really...I didn't even know, or had any time left to cry...In that half an hour of struggling, I picked myself up and decided to redo everything...

Panpan kept talking about his preparation for Halloween tonight. The look he wanted to do is the Chelsea smile in a nurse dress...Chelsea smile is fine...but in a nurse dress just made me go....Please do not tell anyone I'm your gf...I don't know you at all...

Anyways...back to my assignment...

Self-reflection.. (20th of August)

Nothing much happening here...I was sitting with Gold, Katie and Jim working on our task in our first class...I was quietly doing my work til this guy, sort of disturbed me by hugging me at the back when I was sitting there. I know he needed my help again lol...

Getting close to finish my work in my studio class. Then I went to that shopping centre with Tia to get her seafood tempura and my fish balls and meat sticks. Going back to AIT to do my work, but I couldn't take it as I felt so sleepy...

Nap nap time as I came back home. Studying for a bit but not as productive as I should...I didn't even get started with my annotated bibliography that would be due this Friday. I didn't even know what I've been doing the whole night...Maybe I was too busy doing my self-reflection in my mind, and that I nearly forgot I should have come back to the reality which I still got a lot to deal with. I ended up talking to panpan, apologizing to him and expressing how I felt last night...I fairly know one failure isn't the end of the world. But isn't convincing yourself not to think of something a hard thing to do?

Another day with zero productivity but lots of talking, with mum's constant bugging for reading the things she shared, and things she seriously thought they are watchable...

peace....night night world...

More birthdays to come...(19th of August)

It must have been a joke for getting me late for almost 20 minutes for my Jap exam. I seriously didn't know it'd take me that long to wait for my bus as the line was friggin long, it even extended to where the bridge is. I went ok I guess. As in...It was ok that I at least finished everything on time. But that also means, it could have been better if I made it on time. I missed a few words because I went so panicked in the beginning getting my stuff out...Lucky Shelley, my new friend in my tut, has been there for me and telling me not to worry.

Right...it wasn't a good beginning for the day. I had this feeling that things weren't going to be alright. And I was right...The weather had been real bad. Terrible blowing wind with pouring rain took over the city. It was so hard to grip the umbrella tight as I tried to walk forward...And I didn't expect it to be a group interview in the first place. I guess it was one of the times that I lost most of my confidence halfway through as other candidates seemed to be better than me in so many ways. I was fully prepared for any possible questions they might ask, such as the one that asked us to give them advice to their website, to describe one of the most impressive articles we read from their site, what do we think about what editor do for their daily duty, why do we think we are better than other candidates etc...I have to say I've tried my best to impress them when I spoke. The only thing I worried was that group interview is meant to be making comparison between candidates so that employers could make better decision to pick who would be the best for the position, and I don't think I was close to their standard....I really wish they could focus on my personality more at this moment. There is no way that I could get in when everyone else is either has so much working experiences to show, better education background than me, especially the one that is doing master degree in media and communication at my uni that has a lot of constructive comments on media, this field in dealing with printing press and all because she used to work in another magazine company...


I became a bit gloomy after the interview. The same feeling that I'd get from being told off from people. I even left my umbrella there...I was trying to tell mum how I went with the interview, but she took forever to pick up the phone. I miscalled a stranger for several times too...And I talked to Gwinny that I presumed myself as a failure...She spent hours to tell me not to give up and keep looking for other internship by sharing her past experiences..

Unfortunately my mood became even worse when I realised that I had to go back to that world square building as I left my umbrella due to my stupidity...All the way walking back to there from AIT in that wild weather, I was more of a depressingly soulless walking dead zombie in this big city. I can't tell whether the liquid on my face was my tears or the rain, nor could I feel the sadness was from suffering from walking so much in this bad weather or my incompetent performance in my jap exam, or interview, or both..or everything...

So I was being irresponsive to the max to panpan, who got me the cake. No excitement, no happiness, nothing...Frustrated me was trapped in my own world of depression not letting anyone in...Until I realized that he left with madness. A message with 'have fun', which I would not...I immediately cried my heart out as I was hurt even more from losing somebody that I can lean on...So all in a sudden, I begged him to come back...He came to hug me back, kept asking if I was alright on our way home. I didn't want to show mum a sad face on her birthday, but I ain't a good actor trying not to reveal my true feeling, so I stopped talking during dinner. Mum asked me why. That emotional feeling flooded as I started to explain how I was late for my Jap exam this morning and all....A crying baby...Yes...A crying baby...I was that crying baby needed so much comfort from both of them...

Feeling sorry for ruining not only my day, but also both of their day...I know I wasn't able to make it up for them. It just left me with constant frustration over the night...But I've tried...I tried to at least sing a birthday song for her before she ate the cake....I still wish her a happy birthday...more birthdays to come...

Unity, collective action (18th of August)

A wild wild rain this morning...My umbrella even flipped over because of that. There was a few times I gave up trying to walk in the rain, and even thinking that if I should skip that tut. But then again, my friend was already in the tut asking me to go, also for the reason that I wanted to see how other groups' presentation would be like, so I could have some ideas of how to organise everything with my group as the next step.

Nerdy me was sitting at the second row again alone in my Jap lecture. I recognized Roselyn and James who are currently in my tut and seminar classes. They were sitting behind me, Fukui sensei also asked me to be in the same group with them to practice some dialogs. Today, we were given quite a few counter tables in Japanese. For me, I think this is one of the hardest parts as the pronounciation of some counters could be varied depending on numbers.

During my one hour break, I went to main library to chill by searching up some resources for my annotated bibliography...Coming back to Mathew's building to attend my another tut, I found my buddy Deborah from another table when I had this feeling that I've seen her somewhere else before, then I realised that she's also in my Jap seminar on Friday...Our group discussion was formed by two of us and another two guys who are seemingly analytical towards political issues. I couldn't name some terms and they helped me out too.\

Three hours before our society meeting would have been a bit boring IF only that I've got nothing to do..Lucky I've got so much to do for that three hours to get rid of my boredom. Mum's pressie, Jap quiz, and internship thingy are all ready. Except that I need more motivation to make that perfection for tomorrow's internship questions and all...

So then this society meeting dragged me back to reality as somebody called out my name outside of the theatre when I started contemplating...Kelly was the one approaching me, saying how she was surprised the meeting room would be a threatre with more than 30+ people. It was much more different from what we thought the meeting would be like in the first place because Liwen only invited the ones who are willing to contribute to our promotional video. Yet she didn't say anything about bringing her whole marketing team to discuss further more information about the charity dinner event...Her presentation was good. It was a good meeting with all these active members, especially this girl called Beatrice, who looks way too entertaining for a serious project, but everyone loves her for being a great comedian among the group..

Later, I met my media group members. We started to think about how to construct our promotional video by listing out all the ideas we had. Creativity, novelty, artistic components and the powerful expression of our mission purpose for being a group are all we need. As one of the heads of this project, some techniques I've learnt from AIT would get me more efficient in doing this job well...I don't regret to take this opportunity though it gets me even busier. But meeting up with some amazing people tonight is worth everything. And I truly believe that our great collaboration will not disappoint our members :) So LET'S GET STARTED XD

PS: get well soon le fatty...coz you are coming to see me tomorrow :3

Highly organised (17th of August)

Another productive day with lots of things being done. First of all, my artefact for my international relation tut was finally found in one of the current political news site. I've been looking for one article to link that to last week's lecture for so damn long as none of them I found had anything to do with security issues, and I had no way to talk about one piece of crap for 10 minutes if my material is not enough to support my argument =3= I should have thought about doing Libya seeking for humanitarian intervention from the international community earlier instead of that god damn free trade between Aus and Japan happening recently...>3>

OK...enough of blabbering...I pretty much prepared for my internship thingy for another a good few hours by thinking about my 1 min of intro of myself, and 2 mins of this talk of why I am a better choice than other candidates, and practiced some common interview questions as well as to generate some other questions they may ask from all the information given from my resume. Mum helped me to do that and gave me lots of suggestions for correcting either my speech problem or those awkward moments when I started to look unnatural...

And my cousin asked me to webby with them again, so later on, mum used my account to webby with them for a few hours. It seems like that the baby girl (my niece) has become the reason of getting more happiness in their family. Their love for the baby girl is what makes this family as a whole, a unity and something that I haven't seen for so long since last time we talked to them. Feeling really happy for them :)

Time to make some pressies for her before Tuesday arrives...I just had this need to at least make her something though I'm hell busy here. I was thinking to stick notes everywhere on that day but sneaky act won't be succeeded since she wakes me up every morning, and she has breakfast with me and all that...So I could only do something small this year, say, a card with something different inside as you open it...However...My masterpiece has totally turned out to be a disaster when I glued some points wrong=3=....With my unclear mind at late night, I didn't think I'd be able to fix that so I'd leave it to tomorrow >3<

Plan for tomorrow....Jap homework, more internship preparation, mum's pressie, get that assignment started (due on Fri)....Plus....attending meeting with other members after classes at 6....Oh and...Thanks for Haiwon's invitation...I'll see you really soon at the Korean contest :3