A good day.. for her

In short

• woke up at sharp 8am, got to medical centre with her by 8:35am
• thought we would finish it soon because it opened at 8:30am, before we were going to get in, several customers came before us
• we became the last customers waiting in the line for 2+ hours 
• consulted the doctor: my overreacted nose causes me sneeze much more often than anyone else, this is getting really annoying when I reluctantly try to minimize the noise it makes during my lecture and tut...let me face it, I seriously need to get rid of this problem because it has been bothering me for years. He recommended me to use the spray each day to desensitize my nose. 
• We also demanded to have a blood test. Later, we went across the road, got in that laboratory. She pushed me to do it first because she wasn't ready. Nurse swapped the rubber band to tighten up my arms for a few times til she could finally feel my vein. That penetration hasn't even reached my skin, but mum was already screaming as if she was the one who got hurt=.=
• Didn't want her to distract the nurse so asked her to go out a bit..
• It was her turn, the nurse couldn't feel her vein because she was over intensed
• Later I held the nurse's tray with that 3 bottles of blood...accidentally dropped them, mum screamed and yelled at my carelessness... 

She has been cheerful after she came back home. I was happy to see her smile on her face as well. Just like she said, our life is getting better and that we should take more concern with our health from now on.

I started somebody else's assignment, just did some research for the first question....

Somebody came back home late again, it was pretty hard not to get cranky when we have to face the same problem, and hence the same argument over and over...  Too busy to text, too busy to be back home early, and too busy to reply quick, seemingly he's got every reason so obviously I am always the unreasonable one.. I just think we need more time to think over this relationship, if this really worths for both of us to continue...

Uneventful

I am a harmful child, to myself :S I deprive my own sleeping time by reading some insignificant youtube comments at 3 or 4am in the morning...So next morning(afternoon), I woke up at 1pm...

Half a day was gone...Seriously did nothing much, just rang up electrolux, a really late call that I should have made two days ago, but I kept forgetting =.= 

Accepted another request to do somebody else's assignment. I just don't get how people can be that lazy, they don't even organize the materials before they sent...which cause us, the helpers a lot more troubles to find out what we should read in order to relate the theories and all that to that assignment :S 

Another busy week I would say, it's time to go to the medical centre with her tomorrow....

Had a talk with Michelle as well, she was amazed of my persistence to start writing my personal diaries since I was 14...well, just a way to vent out your unhappiness and memorize your happiness when you grow older,  sure there are more possible reasons for me to keep doing this. 

I have nothing much special to tell for my day, oh wait, there is actually one. I finished a box of yogurt, normally I wouldn't like dairy products but this time I enjoyed it.   

I truly believe every single day is a highlight in your life no matter how ordinary it is, even its ordinariness is the most fascinated thing to be written down, perhaps there is no definite reason for me liking such an uneventful day. But now I understand why some people would live so happily, because they know how to spend their days, not live their days. 

Presentation vs Celebration

The two grand parts for today- the presentation & the celebration afterward

Jodie texted me to go to the lecture, I was informed that she was sitting at the front. No exception for today, was still late for 20 minutes to the lecture but I found her sitting at the third row. Finally I got to sit with her for the really first time in this lecture. After the lecture, we went outside of the electrical building and talked for another 20 minutes. As she's doing education, she has taught me some strategies of handling my naughty customer. She's right, I should do what he does to me, when he interjects during the time I talk, letting him know what he has done wrong by interjecting him back when he wants to talk. Guess I should ask for more advice from her later on lol That wasn't the only thing we have talked, I was so keen on talking to her about my preparation of my upcoming presentation in the next half an hour, as well as my life other than uni. She sighed to my good effort just by the way I looked today, a smart looking one that is readily to give a social media talk..

After meeting up with Jodie, headed back to level 2 to see my group members before the tutorial started. Cady and Georgia were already there practicing theirs, Cady asked me to practice mine. Georgia asked me to make more eye contacts with the audience by making it sound more conversational and natural. So I did, also steadily read my part within 3 mins and 30 secs as they asked. During the actual presentation, I was the first presenter to speak out. Before everything started, that can-do attitude of mine was encouraged by my group members. Standing next to the screen while everyone was watching me, this reminded me of those old days back in high school, a stage that used to be mine but now I am not as confident as before. However, for a group presentation, in a group context, you just gotta do your best to fight for it, because this is not only for yourself, but also for them.

Being a first presenter to start a presentation is not easy, yet the luckiest one in my point of view. I didn't read my script that much but occasionally looked at the audiences in different directions, pointed at the slides showed on the screen in order to indicate which dot points I was talking about. Within that 3 minutes and 30 secs, that feeling of being the core of the class has come back to me. Georgia was the second person to present, then lastly Cady. Activities ran too quick though, but it was succeeded to open up a class discussion after that, our goal has achieved by several brilliant students who willingly to be engaged. No panick, no anxiety, no incidence. Finally up to the last bit, where the tutor asked us back a few more questions from other groups. As picky as always, he asked Cady to explain what 'bridges' she meant when she answered that question of his. Anyways, Ailin, Joyce and Shabrina said our presentation was good, even Ailin saw our group mark was 82, as she was sitting next to the tutor...HORRAY then it would be my first time ever to have such a high mark of a presentation in uni~well, thanks to both of my group mates and our great cooperativeness :3 GOOD TEAMWORK GUYS!

OK...That moment of glory when you finished a presentation, definitely a celebration should be held there. I texted Leon and Eric on my way to Central. They were already there waiting for me...I haven't seen Leon for so damn long, even absent in his birthday party a few weeks ago...Gave him a big bear hug, started talking like there was no tomorrow.

He said they cancelled their weekly routine(gym) just FOR ME...*shifty* Leon as always, showing off how sexy he will be turning into when he's got his six packs...Three of us went to Gloria Jeans ordering coffee, Eric ordered an extra toast for three of us to share. Both Leon and I cut his toast into pieces and took all the most tasteful parts, left the rest for him>.> These two gay buddies just never changed, randomness is the best word to describe them both. I like how they used the exponential diagram refering to gambling people and their predictable life. That 90 degrees of drop down cracked me up a lot when Eric said if they play it hard 'All in'...The most common topic was about uni~ Most interestingly is that Leon thought Media has something to do with marketing..In some points, it does, but not something I am currently learning about in my course..

Then we three went to Hursy, their randomness continued. They led me to bar and played a few hours of pool. At first, I thought they are really good at it...Eric is actually good.....at teaching people how to play pool lol Leon may be the best one. They both wanted to see how well I can play, as Eric said my bf is the master of pool=.= Don't know why he would say that and how he knew about panpan's good at it...But shame on me, I am a sucker lool They just both teased my competitiveness, 'why are you always so competitive like when we were in maths class' Well...Is being competitive bad?>.> And I like how Leon asked me to bend over more when it was my turn, 'bend over more, I believe you are more sexual than that ;)' lool They have been analysing my serious face with my deadly stare throughout the entire game>.>

Late dinner, a really late dinner at a restaurant in Hursy, I leaned on the wall chilling and waiting, they both just love teasing me especially when I was so tired...They said how much they miss being taller than me by at least 25cm...I am sorry I was with my platforms>.>

Finally we could sit down, ordered so much spicy food. I looked at the clock hang on the wall, thinking I should call mum at that time, just found out my phone died by the time I slided it..So did Leon's phone....Lucky we still got Eric's, but the server repeatedly said the number I have dialed is disconnected...I wonder whether there's something wrong with Eric's phone or I remembered the wrong number...After I failed for a few times, I asked Eric to go on FB to ask my bf about her number=.=

Several times of swapping Leon and Eric's sim cards, they weren't sure which is which, as they both are on virgin...It was a critical moment if I couldn't contact my mum before she contact me, she would get damn cranky, pissed at me, yelled at me for more than a few hours. Just by thinking about that terrible long lasting moment after I got home, I wouldn't even dare to keep thinking about it. They both fed me, stuffed food into my mouth and that made me so hard to swallow and speak, becasue I have spent most of my time trying to contact with my mum instead of feeding my hungry stomach. I hope they were not treating me like a child, not a child, but an OLD child...as Eric said...=.=

Two meanies trolled me in our way to the station, it was so easy to get me choked when they deliberately made me laugh so hard with my mouthful of food. And that urge to pee right after we got on the train, I did wish I was a guy at that time so I could use Eric's bottle to...you know...>.>

But it was a cold night after all, Eric took off his jacket and put it on me, Leon was like 'can you smell his manly sweat..' Funny how they could be so damn random thought they were starting to get exhausted, we three fighted with newspaper-made swords...Eric ripped my sword off, Leon just used his to smash my head ..They still like patting my head slightly, poking my cheeks like what they used to do in high school...Good time good time, so nice of them also walked me home at the end of the day...

I held them by their sleeve on each side so I walked between them, just a great feeling of being protected by brothers. I hugged them initially before I left, Leon asked me not to wear platforms if I am going gym with them next week, replied 'yeh, not this pair but another pair of platforms :3' 'well, I don't mind if you can run for several hours with them lol' 

Presentation was great, celebration was great... love that courage during presentation as well as that brotherhood during that celebration...

One day before the presentation

My group members are well-organised. I was a bit late for the meeting and both of them were already inside of the room cutting stuff out. Cady then told me to remove some parts because obviously mine was over the limit. After all the cuttings and fixings, we practiced it. They both said that the tutor may get cranky because of the rate of my reading speed..So I tried to slow down as they wanted..>.>

So we sorted everything out just in that limited one hour, came back home with my sleepiness, hence went to bed straight...

Oh forgot to mention that my student got the 2nd of 3rd highest mark in the year *pompous face* :3 all of her essays were 17/20, just by thinking about my effort fruitfully made a really good result in her improvement, I felt so good as a tutor now hehe :3

After I woke up, took a warm shower and washed my hair, talked to that big fattie for an hour. I love how he encouraged me to have a less pressured life, be simpler and happier when life is short. He's always been one of my role models since I was young, this is all because he and mum care about my happiness more than anything else which most of parents would have cared about. Another heartfelt talk, a moment of connection and that bonding...

Told her about Cady, who has the highest standards among my uni friends so far. Indeed she is really frank with well manner. I like the way how she's keen on taking the lead in our group presentation, also she allocated our section evenly, we were not worried as she's been telling us what to do follow by her own schedule.

Later, finished a bit of readings online, as well as to familiarize with every piece of information in the Powerpoint. I will be done with this course once I finish my presentation tomorrow lool so I can chill out with Eric and Leon after uni yay~ Btw, Eric wasn't informed til I talked to him tonight, he's been teasing me about Leon casually used the word 'date'...and my lateness....my iconic lateness...my little legs :S 

James asked me to go to the interview he arranged for me in Electrolux yet I haven't rang them yet, guess I must do that tomorrow. Chances cannot be missed out!! Ailin just realized that I am doing my presentation tomorrow so she wished me the best of luck, I told her to come as my support even thought she was going to skip after that tiring debate haha Joyce texted me asking how I go with my presentation, this is what you called friends :3 Cady inboxed me again letting me know to slow down my section, presumably I should have taken 3 minutes and 30 seconds...Lastly Michelle wanted me to do another assessment for a customer, but I want to have a rest first >.> will get back to her after Friday... 

The day before the presentation is needed to be chilled out, the best way to cool myself down is get to think about how I am going to celebrate afterwards and that really helps :3    

Tuesday...

The African food doesn't look good but tastes so spicy and nice :3

She shouldn't be that picky to other cultures' food even though it doesn't suit her taste>.> Hence, I ate the whole box with my Chinese noodles after she rejected to eat it...It was meant to share with both of us though :S

So yeah...nothing much to talk about for today except for the preparation of my presentation, kept editing my section so to meet my group mate's expectation. Cady suggested me to write some parts in her way that she thought it would be linked back to the academic readings more, as well as to build up the critical judgement towards the materials we have read. 

Having a high demanding group mate is not a bad thing at all, it's just that I am the one that so easily to be manipulated by people who I think they are more superior than me lol There is always one or a few people will wanna take the role of a leader in any group projects, sadly I have lost that part of me ages go :S

Again, to take the role of leader must play as a communicator and thinker by implementing all levels of communication to reach out others. Proactively encouraging the exchange of idea is definitely really important, when the communicative consistency is required for every group. 

Anyways...night...going to meet up with group members tomorrow>.> 

Great!! Sleepiness...

That's right~skipping my lecture just to do my work in the library...Still counts as another form of dedication of studies ey so people do not judge >:[

Oh before that, met that fat panpan at the train station, this time, I was a bit early to arrive. Improvement yay~!!>.> 

So then I went to look for room 305 and Georgia came, we both haven't finished our work. Everyone's busy with something outside of uni...Cady came by 12:30...We three later discussed what activities that can be considered as thought evoking to meet our tutor's high expectation from the presenters...Seems like they both have great organisational skills to divide up group works. I am really happy to have two really smart partners to work with, which makes everything easier and faster to proceed :) 

Though I was damn sleepy the whole day even during the time of group discussion, they asked me if I was ok >.> Anyways...In the tutorial, Ailin and Gwinny sat with me at the front. Among the three presenters today in that tut, only the first one did a great job, to the rest of them, I couldn't find any depth in their analysis...There is this guy who's got purple fringe as one of our instances to do the interpretation of hair style based on the hair colour coding orientation, just so funny how he described himself as a low modality one, wanting to have a bit of attention but not purposely to attract chicks...>.>

After uni, I went to grab some bread with Gwinny and Ailin in 180 degree bakery right at the corner after we walked along that street,  Gwinny highly recommended me to join project hope, I didn't really have this urge until she told me to apply for committee so I can do some interesting tasks such as to design a project etc...

That panpan bought some spicy food to feed me after I got to the station :3 I was going to pull him to take me home but he was going to at the last minute anyways....The art of trolling tops everything, especially when somebody is so sleepy that she loses her ability to be wisely judged what others say...

I leaned on my tree in our mini journey, he held my hand and we listened to the music with my earphones...quietly and peacefully napping..

Came back home, did a bit of group work and posted something to inform my group members what I will be putting in my section...Historical background would be the worst, as there is no need to evaluate the factual info unlike other theoretical quotes which we can interpret differently...

Lastly, panpan has been looking for cheaper nightscope for his uncle. Also he's getting there, he's getting so mean that nearly surpasses me...

Alrighty, time to sleep, time to rest, time to get my brain freshed :3

River flows in you

By using Yiruma's song 'river flows in you' as my title, it generates the feeling of making every rotten little thing about life easier to be accepted...

Your encounter makes you the strongest when you get to confront the problems yourself but nobody else. And this is how I felt today, during the time when I argued with mum like those so many times, that high hierarchy from her as a mum, has been teaching her daughter how to respect her in the way of not to doubt about anything she says. 

I am starting to guess whether my short temper is inherited from her, I didn't even mean to boost her anger but she was just refuse to listen to any of my perspectives...It was so hard to make a peace when I was really unhappy of what she said that my bday gifts for her a few days ago, is way too less to represent my love for her, when in the really basis, I don't even show any respect to her now... :S The truth is that I am accustomed to her harsh words, surely she didn't really mean it. It's just a way of expressing her anger, yes, I do know that....Maybe it was just so stupid of me starting with the topic of my tutoring today, when I said the kid slammed the door after I told his mum about his behaviour, then his mum banned him from watching TV for the whole day... I go 'mehh...it's just a kid, slamming the door is pretty normal, I did that before as well when I was younger' and this got her...She thought I was being supportive to the kid, as I am a(her) kid, and that she mistakenly thought I was speaking for my own self...

Enough of this, getting me emotional much...I wasn't even going to cry, tried to act tough in front of her. But then whatever I did at that moment was wrong in her eyes, just like 'river flows in you(her)', an instrumental piece is the mixture of love and loss, the calm feeling that settles us by its slow tempo as the song progresses yet to the audience like me, who feels blue, only can interpret its slight climax is under the meaning of the dynamics.

Same as that moment when I told panpan about that period of time when my grandpa passed away. Recalling things can really tap into the senses of creating nostalgic images, in particular, when listening to the melody of warmth, it directly makes the story and the song relate to each other, a theme that can be only felt and remembered.

We endure the pain we got from losing someone in life, unable to get people to understand you and so many circumstances that mutual agreement cannot be met. But life never stops, time never pauses for you, so cherish everyone in your life and every moment with you...