Saturday, 2 May 2015

2nd day of essay writing (2nd of May)

Continued with essay writing the second day
I bet that I was sickening by reading those philosophical sense of things for some time
Please don't ask me why
you know how productive I could be
and how unproductive I really were?
brain was screwed
only written a few hundred words
was always aiming for a two times of workload there
Back home
did another a few hundred words to make up the other half  before going to sleep
such a day
with nothing else happened
except that I had my great companion with me who also working on his thesis
as always
tough life
we le the miserable couple...

PS: Good food with cheap price though the restaurant was so hot

Friday, 1 May 2015

Cute niece (1st of May)

First day to start writing my 40% assignment 2
this is an analysis about two poems and one film
for the reason of a good starting
I skipped my AIT class just for that
You see how important it means to me?
It really is

For some reason
Robotics, this topic was brought up
I've always been keen on robotics
or its scientific fact of making those little mechanical components move
....

Somebody was more than having this pride accepting all the positive adjectives I had for him
and he even put emphasis on his good looking face

The rest of the night was to webcam with my dear cousin and his lovely daughter
they all said his daughter and I have some resemblances
she has big eyes like I do
and other features are similar as how I looked when I was at her age
Such a cute little niece there
treating all of her surroundings as a part of her toys
moving them like building a castle
putting her not even 1/4 size of feet into my cousin's shoes
and chuckled mysteriously
taking them off
putting them back on shelf in order
How cute lol
all these acts were on the webcam seen by both mum and I
we couldn't stop laughing at her cute little acts :3
I wish I will have such a cute little child too hahaha
Oh and such a cute family :3

Thursday, 30 April 2015

愧疚 (30th of April)

好久没听到那些话语
我以为我已经忘记了怎么面对现实
怎么面对受伤的她
其实她并没有对不起我
只是,我们真的能力有限
经过了重重困难才撑起这个家
当她说这么多年妈妈没给过你什么好生活
以为在这片土地上我们能找寻我们的归属感可是没有
我不禁错愕地望着她
然后默默地说 没有哇

跟以往一样
她站在阳台看着我离去的身影
我到了一个她几乎只能看到我渺小的身影的一角
挥挥手,仿佛跟她说  我这一天会好好照顾自己的
然后新的一天又开始了

好不容易hold住那种百感交集的情绪
站在火车上一直回想着她说的那番话
我噙着泪水
可最终敌不过我心底里所有的惭愧
像泉水一样涌出来
盖过我的脸
我默默地擦拭着眼泪
然后上了车
依然还是那几句话重重复复地在我耳边回响
她其实并不需要感到惭愧
反而是我,我竟然让她感到惭愧了
我应该才是那个让她感到惭愧而惭愧的人
是我
还不够努力
虽然不知道不久的将来会发生什么事
但我依然会抱着你
然后我们还会像以前一样支撑着对方
。。。

那一刹那,突然有了矫情的冲动
想打个电话
又或者发个短信
跟她说
我们会好的
虽然生活可能还很艰辛
但是路还很长
改变现状是我们的愿望

今天不知哭了多少回了
那几句话在我脑里一直回放
然后lib的时候本来很positive心情突然一下子憋不住那些消极
又哭了
默默地在很多人的地方
把自己禁锢在一个悲伤的小世界里
泪水止不住地往下掉
幸好某人在努力工作
并没发现我有任何不妥

今天主要就是帮exec照相
先是millie,我们抱怨着对这大雨天的心塞
然后找到了一个room
开始了拍
由于当时只有她一人
我们商量着光线什么的问题
还有怎么拍能比较好看
慢慢的喜欢上Millie这小妞
还有她迷人可爱的微笑
每次都能让我心情变好

之后也帮Shannon和Yvonne两美女拍了
她们真心瘦啊
还悄悄地在帘子后面换衣服
淘气死了

同样的事情发生了数次
包括她们互换衣服n次
然后照了好多张照片来挑最满意的
之后嘛
Barbara和beatrice她们就很随意了
貌似几次完成
紧接着henry那小哥觉得自己还真心清秀
一次就完成了

可能是我要求比较高
但我真心觉得自己丑哇。。
好吧。。。拍了那么个10次左右才挑得到满意的
还是ok满意的
实在脸太大
实在不好看。。
辛苦dar dar了
他一定被我这家伙玩死了
实在忍不住狂笑
拍照拍得太High了

congratz to dar dar~
某人说他present的时候讲得跟abc一样溜
然后回答了半个小时的q&a
精神可嘉
值得学习
模范bf
不好意思翻看了你那么多照片
虽然我记性真的很差
完全不记得你之前show给我看的某些东西了
anyways,幸好有dar dar在
还有我的某些小小的动力
是这些人和事让我在雨天看到了希望
最后,再次回想那几句话
心里还隐隐地痛
这种感觉真的只会发生在你在乎和珍惜的人身上
。。。。。

PS: 跟Barbara一起吃饭实在尴尬
感觉我们都在互相排斥着对方。。
PS1:跟henry畅聊法律和媒体。貌似他对AIT感兴趣

Wednesday, 29 April 2015

Sleep with guilt (29th of April)

所有smugglers Chan和他同谋今天在印尼被人枪决了
先不说人不人道这回事
本来drug dealer就该punish
我们同情的应该只是chan他那些可怜的家人朋友
为他操心的那一群
至于他blind不blindfold
跟勇敢不勇敢又是两码事
毕竟犯错了就是错了
明知故犯更是大错特错
印尼本身的法律就包括drug crimes deserve death penalty这条
人家怎么样得有自己的原则吧
对,澳洲是没死刑
这自由和保护人权的国度的确把人道主义这些东西总挂在嘴边
但是,你在哪里犯法呀?
你在印尼犯法了喂
法律制度并不会因为你的国籍而改变的不是吗
好了,不评论那么多
希望他们的家属能度过难关
也希望大众能引以为鉴

AIT的课上帮nelson (back to English typing)
translating everything from the assessment sheet
he said I'm such a good translator...
having all my efforts expressing all I can
really has attributed to the lovely soup made by mum last night
I could seriously feel the effects taken on me
plus someone's bday today
with him sharing so much about apple watch
the pros and cons
I don't wait to say no to technology
you think something's on trend
but doesn't mean you have to follow

finally finished off my tut task from last week
the texts formed the image tut task worth a try
I, didn't have any ideas at all on what to make out of the poems in the beginning
since animation is involved
but this is not it
I was more of worried the colour scheme I'm using
as well as the movement and such would not seem as realistic as it actually is
anyways
my landscape begins with the river flows through as a foreground
leading to the tree starting to grow from the root
branches then spreading outwards
with the subsequent growth of leaves
coming with a leaf falling while a bird flies over
the whole animation ends as the leaf touches the water

home late again, got scolded by mum a bit
dinner late
not much productivity afterwards
with her talking to granny on the phone for an hour
she learned some better methods to cook from her

I might go a bit unhappy and uneasy when she told me about the news tonight
the financial problem once appears
the repetitive sad past was once recalled
and a lot got me the feeling of what I've done
 is not enough
I mean, it might be time for me to grow again
and this time
even faster
trying not to think it as a burden or such
but carry it like I always do
to step forward and be the shelter myself
having all the power to defeat what's coming ahead

sorry that I shouldn't have said that particular line to her
as if I started to complain what she did for me....
now I have to sleep with guilt...

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Little things (28th of April)

Trying not to sound too irritable on my post here
but C service really had me to say nothing good about it
like hello....how slow you answer a phone call
how suck the system is
why there is so much inconvenience all in one day
driving me like a mad monkey
waiting on the phone
refreshing the page...
now finally the report section was on
service unavailable?
are you kidding me??...
^swear to god, never ever rely on the third party providing you financially

yes....nothing else to say....
It had me venting everything out to dar dar on my way to uni
and being gloomy much, staying at the library to do my work
I was completely not putting up with something made me feel lost
but thanks for my classmate, my partner who almost told me everything we learned
from the lecture
she seems really keen on doing this course
I mean, just looking at how enthusiastic she is for telling me what she understands from the text
she indeed is 100% into english literature
.......

shooooooooo damn happy to see Ailin again
I couldn't stop talking with her about what we've been through recently
including how stressed she feels in taking a master degree
doing all 6 courses at the same time
we shared so much about private life too

dar dar came to the library an hour later
having me to read through the second edited version of his chapter 1
honestly, the Malaysian corrects better than I do
after all, he picks up some really really tiny mistakes
talking about captain,dar dar was imagining what if he was the captain in my high school
I teased him for being short
he argued back with him being a compact-sized of smartass
against whatever my troll was
He called me back as a low IQ condensed midget
my branded tsk appeared by then
asking him to leave
saying I would be leaving too
he dragged me and changed his mind for staying back later

we had our time talking shits
the courses, stuff I learned, my tut, my historical miraculous life
my thoughts, my celebratory surprising party made by my classmates
le cruise party preparation, PH, my tut mates, moments of despair and lost
sports....just everything that popped up in my mind
like a wave of information, overflowing into the forms of speech
There is lost, gain, happiness, sadness
the ups and downs, pros and cons, good and bad, ugliness and beauty
the mix of emotions
and a sense of fulfilment
with that distinguishable essence in looking at things in different angles
might have been, and start to change that little thought in your life
and a moment of terror, that one sec to the comtemplation of doubt
and untrust leading to a beginning of trust
maybe you still haven't found that particular way of getting the best out of life
maybe you are still on your way to seeking for a better self
the direction could be way much different
and that the realization could be way much further than the really natural occurence 
but youth, is supposed to be thrived
and learning for what you think worth your time
this is our time
for everything we share, learn together, and from each other
he has dreams, I have dreams too
I feel that we are getting together to teach what we can
to one another
though there is so much for us to explore
like we still are learning English together
I really like how his questions are those that I hardly take notice on
in those particular instances of paying so much more attention on tiny details
small things might represent a bigger picture
I feel happy, for a person joyfully brings me with motivation

PS: Thanks for Ailin's invitation to her graduation some day in June
PS1: late promo posts on wechat, with an unfortunate minor argument with dar dar
PS2: MT Wilson seems nice, should really go there one day 
PS3: old movies really are worth watching. I mean, I see her eyes holding with tears for how old movies have her felt the really deep down from her heart..

Monday, 27 April 2015

No sleep deprived (27th of April)

No feeling bad for skipping the lect today?
Not really...I had that sort of guilt after I checked my essay mark online
happy that I got 72
the comments were good too
my insight worth the mark, and that escalating confidence in doing even better next time
Coming to the perplexed feeling towards Sean's relo
from what I've heard from dar dar, their relo doesn't seem to be getting far
because of the clinginess the girl has
as if she now has become clingy gf, the most terrible type you would ever see
controlling, having too much to put into a relationship will always be a bad thing
sorry that I was joking about father Tony being a Conan
who has had spied on every act of Sean's
but it's true to say he did have observe Sean's recent act in bringing his gf over
maybe father was doing all these for a double rent or whatsoever, we never know...lol

Back to the library to do work with dar dar
ringing up the maintenance man for mum
because she urged me to call
low productivity in this country in almost every aspect of service, really had me lost my patience
But thanks for that manager who gave me an instant reply
though another call was made for informing them to go back to my house again, after the lock was forgotten to attach back to the window
I was told by that cranky her
whom made me go cranky too

sis Jenny came almost 2 hours later
I didn't accept her apology...like unforgivable one
yet, I still ended up doing that 15 mins of mid-sem test for her
after all, she got the answers, but not revising caused her having trouble to look for answers
when actually doing the test online
time waits for no man
you spent almost 1 minute to look for something that not even sure of whether it's on that answer sheet
my suggestion: do what you can
try what you can
so I did, for her
and we scored for 11/20
this result wasn't bad at all
for someone who never had a glance at any of the lect slides or book for the course

And Bam....now that is what you call productivity as I've gone back to that normal me
chapter 2 had my full attention for the entire an hour and a half
quick correction
sorry for the tease, not intentional though

me being high so do not blame me for being talkative
including my ranting for the maintenance etc
I know dar dar does care for my well being
that's why he didn't allow me to have that last piece of fried chicken
talking about group work and such, my miserable first ever experience in uni
was such a tragedy to be shared

I guess mum was right
Aussies are scared of spiders all the time
even the men don't even dare to catch it from the roof
but mum did
this heroine was brave...indeed....

Thanks for the prawns...
and your understanding...
me sleepy..
me need more sleep
me still have plans for tomorrow...
night world..

PS: Too much reminisce for the old-fashioned movie reminded her of her sis
a century of hatred might have changed a bit starting from that moment
No matter how much you hate a person
if there is still something good within her, or the past of her being the one slightly have something for you to be moved from
there is always love at the bottom of your heart
not that you care, or admit
but you feel it

Sunday, 26 April 2015

Everyone has a dream (26th of April)

Shortly speaking
le me couldn't be calm til we finished watching the movie
this is a movie about how three deadbeat chums establish their business empire
it's a series of love-hate sentiments precipitated towards the U.S
and within the relationship between the characters
I exceptionally like the speech they make in the meeting where the protagonists claim their right and dignity back
though I rolled my eyeballs at that scene where the film sort of fails to explore the cross-cultural exchange in that less convincing romantic interlude or sexual context in a way of surprisingly hilarious way much earlier between Wang and Lucy's affair
But then the film almost gets me on its intentionally dramatic engaging expression in satirical approach to have us to look through its vision from outside
this is a subject of fact to exploit the Chinese history, as well as the individual history 
of welcoming, admiring of the English culture
for the sake of seeking a better life, or a dream of expecting it to be a better life
one said that it is an economic playing field in the legal proceedings to frame the camera
it presents to us a stereotypical case of discrimination, national interest and pride
with the growing sense of weakness too, to enhance the eager of how we don't want others to look down on us
here you go, it surely does a good job in its representational meaning at such a direction of having the victory against the American's view towards the Chinese
It's just my own understanding of the film, and yes, I like some effects they used too

two pizzas a day...
not keeping the doctors away
but meh...
to save more time to work on things together
I tried to correct a few pages of chapter 2
asking him when I got confused too
napping on the bed for an hour 
resting romantically by clinging each other from front to back
you can almost hear the heartbeat
of course, feeling the face, looking into each others' eyes at times
Anyways...totally disagree with living together for such a short period of dating
And yes.....tired to do anything else as I got home
she was there at the Star looking for my friends a while ago lol
here comes with a cute mum...hahaha....