(7th of Dec)

• I don't get why I can be such a dick sometimes by torturing my own bf, messing up his bed sheets, and purposely messing up my own hair when he helped me to comb it..Then the next minute, I fixed his bed sheets LOL...>.>
• And I found out he loves chicken feet a lot. Perhaps I should ask mum to cook him some next time when he visits her :3
• Time to pay for our meals from time to time since somebody works so hard, I would feel so guilty if I am so not understanding..
• Anyways I told him about how I thought about him being so close to his Jap friend. Apart from that, he told me about his past.
• The closeness we had tonight was significantly pulling us a bit closer than ever. Actively participating is required, maybe it's just me who doesn't feel comfortable around him sometimes, but I do try to find a way to make us connected like tonight :)

Friday (6th of Dec)

• In short....another day in Star city
• She has won back 45 bucks in 4 hours 
• There was an Indian guy trying to claim our money was his after the game, lucky I raised my hand faster than him. Never trust anyone outside especially to those places like Casino, inexperienced will usually be the target of tricksters, they might get approached to you first by talking to you heaps, next move is to get you trusted them. 
• So many photos have taken today...

Relationship (5th of Dec)

• A 77-year-old Malaysian old guy greeted me during I jogged. Before I left the park, he asked for some of my personal info and talked a bit. Claiming that he is super healthy, which it was proven from his great complexion, I asked if he goes there everyday, he then said I look so athletic LOL first time someone complimented me as athletic. He also said that I look like his daughter in law, I didn't know how to react instantly but to a stranger, who only just knew you, I found that pretty hilarious and assumed that he might deliberately to try to show his approachable side. 
• summer course fee....oh no....this can't be true...1300+...Just need to find out if I should still pay for the viewable outstanding fee 
• First ex was having a dilemma of relationship, even though I don't know if the girl who is ready to confess to him in the public on Sunday is really the one he wanted, I still suggested him to rethink about his current gf who doesn't know anything about him being a cheater..? And temptation can be always induced in such a circumstance when a relationship goes downhill, and you are disappointed at your bf/gf, there is nothing wrong to go for another person to my point of view, as we are still young. Although morally it is not fair to your gf/bf, but I truly understand his situation. I only hope that he chooses what he's happy to have, that's all I can say, as an ex..
• I think my first ex is the one that I have connection the most. Everytime when we have problems, no matter what kinds of problems they are, we have them together. Now he has his relationship problems , at the same time I have mine. We both didn't talk to our bf/gf for three days, coincidentally lol
• Finally can talk to the panpan..once again, trust problem and to my standard, he's being flirtatious only adds to how I saw him the first time. We may not work out in the end and I definitely know that, even after nearly 11 months. But to be honest, since I have made changes within myself and between us all this time, I wouldn't want to let this go. Says I have made him change a lot, in this relationship, I have changed a lot as well. I only don't see why I still hardly have connection with a person though I have changed, or because those changes are forced and reluctant as changes can be only made to adapt to his lifestyle and personae. 
• I am certainly not a committed type because being a committed type can only get yourself hurt so much at the end... I am not ready to take any consequences...

(4th of Dec)

4th of Dec

• The old guy seems really impatient when he interviewed with mum and I. Although I didn't really care whether he would be feeling annoyed when I asked him so many question about concession and health care card, I made my questions clear and short. He got her a concession card and told me to check official website if I want to know more...
• Mum was happy to have half fare for transportation fee. To celebrate this, she took me to the city, we ate ramen in a Japanese restaurant near Chinatown. She instantly made a video of me eating my Udon and Ramen. 
• Then I took her to Star city after our meal. Having period is such a bad luck to go gambling in Chinese culture, as in the metaphorical meaning of '大出血' (heavy bleeding: severely killing your wallet) which is true, we were sort of having a hard time to win the game Sic bo. There should be some patterns formed from the previous games, but overall, for me, I only thought of that as a possibility of guessing, if you are lucky enough for the day, you may win big money. But gambling is not everyone's thing, the more greedy you are, the higher chances of you losing the game, and your money. 
• We didn't join every game there, unless we were having a big time gambling, which we weren't. Mum controlled herself pretty well and only put 5 bucks to every game she played if she was confident of winning. I tried to walk to somewhere else since I was the one having period, it would have brought such thing as bad luck. 
• Some people could be really crazy putting 1000+ in just one game, and lost all within a minute. I don't get how much money really means to them, because apparently they are treating this like a job more than just an entertainment, but it is not uncommon in such a place. 
• I went back to mum, she was still losing and by the time I asked her if I could go have lunch by myself, our 200 bucks was nearly gone. 200 bucks already mean a lot to a family like us. She then gave me my ID and 50 bucks and I walked off. Heading to somewhere that sells traditional Japanese salmon rolls. The girl who served me seems so familiar to someone I saw on FB, the next second when she spoke, I did realise she might be panpan's friend, who I have seen her photos appeared on his newsfeed at times. I found a spot, sat down and enjoyed my salmon rolls. 
• I was even imagining by the time I went back to mum, she would be telling me she has won all them back. Unfortunately she only has won back maybe 100 bucks? And I was sitting behind her asking to put a chip on 14, and guess what? We started winning from that game LOL Later on, we won back quite a bit because I partially guessed dice combinations right. 
• However it was already late at night, once again, didn't get to talk to the panpan as he was already asleep...

Outting with unbiological siblings(3rd of Dec)

I was late for 5 to 10 minutes, even so, I was still proud of myself making such an improvement unlike in most of the previous outtings, which I was late for at least half an hour. I texted Corey at the train station asking him to meet me up there. Listening to loud music with my headphone on, I couldn't notice my brother Corey was already standing behind me and sneakily reading what I texted =.= Until he moved to my left, I was shocked when I turned to the left, almost screamed when I saw him =.=

He has grown much taller and once he spoke, found out his voice has changed a lot. But no matter how much he has changed, he is still one of my best brothers in here, the closeness we have, hasn't changed at all. He took my kindness for granted in the beginning, asking me to carry his bag without I even said a word. He stretched his arms, leaned on my back and asked me to carry him lol 

The train came, we both got on board. Since we haven't met for almost 2 years in person, our conversation had no pause at all. He told me a lot of his everyday life stories happened in these two years and I told him about mine. As he's got a girlfriend, she wechatted him where he was when he was with me. We took a few pictures together on the train, later on, he sent that to his gf. 

Karen must have felt left out as Corey and I seem much closer than she and I even though this was the first time we made a reunion after 2 years. Wagaya karaoke and lunch combined was cheap enough for us to spend 2 hours there. I have never heard of Karen's voice when she sang, so I was surprised that her original high-pitched voice could be that powerful. Corey and I shared a box of bento since we both weren't that hungry, I ate 1/4 of the rice and finished most of the chicken and vegies, he called me a 'nice sister' as I wasn't shameful to do that. There was once I ordered raw fish set, nothing's left after I finished singing that song. By the time I asked them who ate all of them, they pointed at each other...>.> I guess that's what most of the close siblings do, the closer we are, the less shamefulness to take everything for granted hahah Corey recorded me singing though, my unwillingness to be the subject of that video was quite embarrassed in the beginning, he even said he would upload it on FB and tag my bf=.= I don't like being recorded during the time when I sing, same thing to I don't like being watched by people because of my twisted facial expression. 

After karaoke, Corey led both of us to play pool. Luckily my friend Karen was even worse than me playing pool so that was one of the least competitive games. Corey was sitting on the side having his intimate time with his gf via wechat while watching how bad we suckers played pool lol>.> Let's just.... skip this part...Well, I felt myself improved by playing with Corey though as I would be much more determined to beat him. Anyways my headphone broke at the time when I took it out from my bag. Time to get new headphones and phone...sighh...

I swear I seriously don't want to have fast food but sometimes, it's inevitable when you are with friends if they want to have it. Particularly when the movie 'Catching fire' started in 10 minutes since we were so late to get there after pool. There was no other option not to eat hungry jacks. I can tell how unhealthy they are when they only ordered drinks for their meals. I finished my chicken crunch classic within a few minutes, that might be the fastest meal I've had these days. Karen has been hugging my arm during the movie because several scenes made her shit her pants and she actually screamed next to me=.= such as when one of the baboons was attempted to attack Katniss and the rest when they turned around. I was acting like her mum comforting this little girl. It's not hard to imagine how scared she would have felt if we switched to a scary movie. Anyways 'Catching fire' has a saddest ending ever, say what? You can tell how corrupted the rich could be as District 12 was destroyed only because Katniss's rebellion has influenced a lot of people, and that making them start to strike against the upper class.

It was a great journey on the train heading home. Just like Corey said, I went so high afterward, my craziness and randomness caused both of us laugh so much, even people sitting in front of us have turned around and checked what happened to us two retards. Using my scarf to cover my whole body and take a shot, being muslim-like was the funniest part that cracked him up. I truly don't know where my bravery was from...

Before we got off, there was this crazy woman walking around the carriage murmuring. A witch-like person freaked us out a bit, with her killing stares, I followed Corey to get off from his stop, got on the same train but different carriage since she was following us.

Time flies, I still remember the first time I saw him with Eric Kung back in Peakhurst, I had no friends when I just went to that school. He called me sister after we became much closer. In real life, I have no siblings and I've been always wanting to have some, thus having unbiological siblings makes me feel that I am not alone. Thanks for being with me when I couldn't find my sense of belonging at that time, I love you guys so much... 

2nd of Dec

• Le panpan is going to his interview today. Wish him luck
• Somebody has no car today so mum has decided we both will go to RTA by ourselves. For me, this is more like an excuse whenever we ask for his help. Ain't most of the guys like that? No actions, only words.
• I took mum to do her ECG (electrocardiography) as she has slight palpitation. She's likely to get anxious when something happens. This is caused by the stress she has for years, it's over one another.   
• It was the same lady who did her blood test last time to do her ECG. That was the first time I've seen what a ECG is. She asked her to take off her bra, then put 7 or 8 stickers all over her torso. Later connecting all of them to a data box with the wires, she pressed one of the button and electrical noises subsequently generated. A random fluctuation signals the data is being received. She unplugged all the wires. I asked if there was any pain, mum smiled and said, 'It was so comfy'...
• Then we headed to the bank to report my student identity to avoid the monthly account fee
• Mum once again dragged me to go shopping with her for another one hour. 
• When we were back, it was already 2pm. I could finally turn on my laptop to start my day of relaxing. I thought I could have a few hours to do something I like but she then asked me to check something, two locations: the MTC and RTA. I don't think I've ever dropped off from Kogarah so everything seems so unfamiliar, and the address on the sheet is pretty confusing, when it says Railway Parade in Rockdale, google map directs me to Kogarah=.= As there is a Railway st in Rockdale whereas Railway Parade is actually located in Kogarah.....Like what the heck..........
• A news shows a footage of a Brazilian girl has bitten by a bull shark. It was quite shocking when you can clearly see her leg is left with bone and blood stained on her bikini. This poor girl died once she was sent to the hospital though, and she was only 18...So don't trust to swim in the coast near the beach, don't risk your life..
• Anyways my honesty has once again made somebody...speechless I will say.. Don't really know what he really thinks. But well, I mean this happens..By talking about physical contacts, who does more of this, who knows...
• Lastly...The excitement of reunion: seeing my brothers and sister tomorrow WOOOHOOOOO. I swear I won't be late....

The first day of Dec, the last month in 2013

1st of Dec

• Day 5 of jogging, the soreness of my legs are seemingly getting better...
• I haven't seen this kiddy for half a month and he's still shoooooo naughty as usual..
• When he sneezes, he doesn't even cover his nose which is so damn rude=.=
• There were only 4 pages of that booklet to be done today so pretty much we finished it within 40 minutes and the rest of the time was to help him with his maths and antonym
• Ok I don't know why but sometimes I seriously find him really cute when he treats me as his friends, putting his arm on my shoulder and linking arm with me. All these friendliness have shown that he likes me to be his tutor right? Yet he doesn't admit it when I asked him what he said to his mum when she asked how I go with tutoring. He said, ' I was like mehhh'....I pointed at his face, said 'realllyyyyyyy, I heard my friend say you like me a lot ey ;)' He rolled his eyes, said 'nope, I said mehhhh>.> I am pretty sure I said mehhhh...' Purposely teasing a kid and making him feel shy is so fun hahaha
• There was one moment I felt pleased when we talked about the word 'pretty', I purposely messed up with him by calling him a pretty yr3 little kid, he was like 'nope, I am not pretty but you are'...like wow, this is the first time a kid called me pretty..
• Before I left, his mum came in and asked if I could tutor his son on Saturdays but I rejected. Though I have thought about tutoring one or two more days during the holidays but don't think Saturdays can be taken. I told her any weekdays is fine though. Later on she asked me to take Calvin's report home and think about what areas he could be improved. 
• I was glad that she wants to continuously hire me next year but the way of tutoring will be a bit different, as it's necessarily for me to print out the exercise sheets for his son.
• Before I came out from the toilet after the tutoring, Calvin called my name outside of the toilet. When I came out, he asked when my birthday is. To some unknown reason, he might be just randomly asking?
• Back home: Her bf kept telling us how beautiful Sierra Leone really is, unlike what the media has depicted on TV
• I do trust him fully as previously I've done some research on Africa. It might be a good idea to travel there some days :) 
• Lastly congratz to my cousin who just got married today, have a good marriage for good and give birth to a cute baby!!! I am expecting to see another niece/nephew of mine woooooooooo, shame that I can't go back to China and be one of your bridesmaids at this time>3<