The eventful day (14th of Dec)

• Jap Fest was awesome. I went there alone in the morning that day. It was such a sunny day and I got sunburn over both of my shoulders. But it was worthy to go there for a couple hours, even though I didn't really purchase anything except for food. One box of yakisoba, takoyaki and one piece of green tea flavour nuomici ice-cream. I also bumped into my friend Karen and her friends during the time I was going to get some food. She was close to scream when she saw me and we went to the side to talk a bit. Anyways the traditional Japanese styled performance was amazing to watch. 
• It was a failure to fill up that bottle of sand and it was extremely awkward to ask for another one because I got rejected afterward lol
• The bbq with panpan's friends after 5pm...I hand fed him some meat and pumpkin pieces while he was cooking for us. That poor panpan had to be a cook serving all of us with chicken wings and that had already taken him heaps of time.
• I felt sorry left him alone after he was unhappy about me doing that after the bbq. But I thought he would be ok cooking alone there yet I wasn't thinking much about how he felt. 
• That girl named Joanna was super talkative. Most of the time she did the talking within our group chat. And most of the time she talked about variety of aspects about her future husband, who doesn't get accepted by her parents as he's half Jap and half Chi. I do get why they have such a bias. I really like her personality though she has once said panpan's fat. Right after she said that, I laughed, and panpan saw that while he was busy talking to Fiona, who keens on talking to him as if they are still so close. 
• The rat was running around freaking people out. The family before us have shit their pants in that moment of fear when the rat was found running around them. Michael claimed to bbq it if he ever seen it again lol
• Michael gave both panpan and I a lift to the train station. It was one of the funniest moment when there was sexual references involved from our convo. He heard us kissing at the back so he instantly asked panpan he's got everything he needs in the car if something's demanded...His gf was even funnier giving us a I-don't-know-what-you-guys-are-talking-about face. Thus panpan and I found that quite hilarious laughing for the rest of our trip, it got me a sore throat by laughing too much though..
• Panpan and I had a talk in my unit when he was eating his curry. The talk was short but cheerful. Unfortunately each time when I am in a talking mode, we don't really have much time left...     

(13th of Dec)

• The suspension of my youth allowance has something to do with my enrolment...
• My healthcare card form is finally submitted after I waited there for an hour
• Met up with Corey, Land and Karen in that same pool place. Like Corey has said, I don't give surprises til I play with someone more competitive. It was so close to beat Land in the last game. 
• Corey has been teasing me for being ruthless because I asked him not to talk to his gf while he was playing pool. He then said, he wouldn't give up talking to his gf, unlike me, who is being so cold to bf>.>
• I was only asking when his birthday is, he misinterpreted me saying when he will divorce=.= 'LOL, yeah, I will divorce asap hahah ;)' 
• Btw, Land is being so snobby showing off his skills in playing pool...>.> I had a talk with him about uni when we stayed alone though. In order to make him have a pre scary thought about uni, I described it as a hell lol unless he joins clubs and societies 
• The two vs two game was ok-ish. Corey and I were in the same team. He purposely set up for me yet I disappointed him for quite a few times lol>.> He thought I was doing that on purpose, then he chased me around the table and choked me hard>.> Kid's madnessssssss....
• We headed to that hot dog place near the event cinema. We took a few photos before Land left us. He told me how much his gf loves that place whenever they go out. Seeing how adorable those hot dogs and drinks are on the menu, I am not surprised that his gf likes taking him to have meals there. I ordered that Tariyaki chicken hot dog for myself and a drink for him. He thanked me by the time I smacked his head saying how naughty he is. In our way to Wolli creek, Karen, him and I continuously took photos, later giggled about how retarded our faces look like in the picture. They both squeezed me hard as I was sitting in the middle=.= I even found some people turning around and checking what we were doing, but seriously, I was having quite a fun time with these two kids :3
• Anyways...SAFE TRIP BRO!!! I WILL WAIT FOR YOU TO COME BACK!!! XD

The important ones (12th of Dec)

You wouldn't know how much you love a person until something happens. 

I've heard that my cousin is going to have a great celebration for his 1 month old daughter tomorrow and invite all the relatives from my mum's side. Sad thing here is, no relatives from our side will be attending because of grandma, who has been away since my cousin's wife gave birth to the child, is still staying in Foshan, which is another city next to Guangzhou. Other relatives don't feel like coming as grandma doesn't seem to care that much. I know everything is not getting solved in a long time. But come on people, it's not right to bring up family dispute to a newborn baby, she has nothing to do with the adult world...As fattie from oversea has told mum about it, even my mum was mad at them. But at the same time, grandma is doing that for a reason, in other words, she is biased against someone in that family. Mum is only worried about grandma's ignorance will make relatives hate her, especially to the family who lives in Zhuhai, the only one who is able to take care of her, and now, she's not attending her own grandson's daughter's celebration. Mind telling you guys who ain't Chinese, celebrating for a 1 month born child is one of the significant events in the Chinese culture. 

I can finally see my niece via webcam. She has big eyes like me. I even saw her sucking her fingers and drinking milk while looking at the webcam as if she could tell who we are. My mum and I waved at her, then her eyes trickily rolled. My cousin has now become a dad, but it's still so hard for me to imagine that he is one, since my memories are still remained in the age when I went to his house playing a lot of computer games, and he was the one that once got me addicted to games when I was quite young. Also when he and grandpa took me to catch cicada on the tree during summer, now grandpa has passed away for close to five years, and my cousin is married and has a child. Thinking about these changes brings me with this sentimental feeling yet I know at the very least, I still love them no matter where they are, who they have become and regardless how distant we live afar from each other. 

Mum kept telling uncle not to get angry at grandma's irrationality as she was the reason caused everyone not willing to attend the celebration. Our family problems might be too complicated to explain here in short. But I have known this aspect since I was 12, which was the first time I came to Australia. Mum was crying while talking to my uncle, who only shed a few tears when she told him not to be mad at grandma, but took care of her as she has become quite a loner after grandpa was gone. Mum loves grandma is as much as how I love her. She always says to me, if she stays in China, she could have taken care of her the best she can. My mum is really the best child truly cares about her family among all her siblings. I am not complimenting my mum here, but fact shows she really is the one like I have described. 

Likewise, le panpan's mum has been depressed because of her mum. That reminds me of my grandpa so I was close to cry when I taught him what he should do to make his mum feel better for the time being. I can relate her feeling to my mum and I, that day when we received bad news of grandpa. 

Lastly....The powerfulness of love is not about how long you can be with them, but to constantly show them how much they really mean to you by taking actions when they are still there, in a limited time... So please don't leave any regrets..

Domestic problems (11th of Dec)

• That furious argument is the worst when two people unable to communicate to each other. She has been complaining to me about how he got her wrong. Unfortunately I was napping at that time, didn't get to solve that problem between them til I was awaken by the noises they made...
• He was being so rude chucking the brush to the sink, and she took revenge by chucking his glasses to the floor. Both parties were not calm enough to sit down and have a talk...
• I hope they will be ok by tomorrow though..
• She asked me to share the cooking recipes that she found from someone's qq-zone as she has an attempt to learn new cooking skills
• And I just found out my youth allowance cease for some reason...
• Problems occur one by one..=.=  

This god damn heat (10th of Dec)

• Persistently to go jogging for an hour or so under this heat. I was sweaty like a pig, literally. There ain't that much people going to the park today, even my friend, the Malaysian old man wasn't there lol ok feeling weird calling him as my friend hahaha
• Came back and napped for 2 hours after lunch time.  
• Been watching the documentary of animal abuse in slaughter house and I deeply feel sorry for the pigs.  The depiction of inhumane act should be used to examine and to ensure animal welfare because such a cruelty commonly made by people in the slaughter house is indeed really disgusting. We are not able to change the food chain as a nature since meat is essentially needed for our lives, what we should do is to consider how to let them die with the minimum of pain. 
• This god damn heat caused me don't want to go out, so I asked for a postpone. Maybe we should do that when Corey comes back..

the change, the love (9th of Dec)

• I've changed my attitude to treat somebody better even though I don't know whether it will work. 
• It's good to have a tall and strong bf to carry you on bed gently
• However this person was away for another half an hour eating his watermelon at his computer room, I bet he even forgot about me during that time because he obviously enjoyed it so much>.> 
• To my curiosity, I checked his messages with his really best friend. It isn't jealousy but sometimes I don't feel that special being his gf since the way he talks to others is as similar as when he talks to me. 
• Anyways our plan was ruined because the Malay restaurant wasn't opened on that day
• Instead we headed to a Japanese restaurant where it is located near the bridge. One of my favourites -the Sashimi was ordered by me, as always, seafood is irresistible for someone like me who is from a coastal city in China. I still remember the time when parents drove all the way to a remote place called HengQin, variety of raw seafood such as Oyster, fish, shrimp and lobster cost so much just for a meal. But then again, my entire family, my dad in particular, is the one that loves discovering new food, and that he has always told his daughter 'Eating is one of the most enjoyable things to do other than sleeping, it cheers you up at times, it brings you happiness.' 
• Panpan sees me as a little rat when I eat, I don't know how I look like one but he says I do. He bit off half of the vegies that I was chewing in my mouth. That was really sweet ey, my mum once told me that she has been observing panpan a lot whenever he comes to our house to have dinner, the clinginess he shows is the time when he continuously hugs me and kisses me when I eat.  
• He then asked me if I mind about he meeting up with Maggie, a girl who introduced us the first time we met in Luna Park. Without her, we wouldn't be knowing each other and subsequently became a couple lol But that day was also the first impression I had for him as a player, who seemed so close to someone that he just met. Hence, to be honest, I wouldn't say I mind if they meet up, and knowing that to catch up with a friend he knows is pretty common, I can't stop someone to do something he wants. 
• We didn't really have a great time eating ice-cream as I wasn't thinking about having a serious conversation with him. I hide so much about my past, it takes a lot of bravery and time to bring that up again. But for now, I am not ready to let another person know about it.
• He was being damn serious when we got to the park, even there was more than 10 minutes he was being fully silent looking at me emotionlessly. A connection is hard to form between us, to avoid so much things he wants to know definitely is not fair to him, since he has given me permission to get accessed his FB, as well as to check his messages etc, yet I have given him none, nothing at all. 
• But leaning on him did make me feel so much better, plus he was holding both of my hands tightly to tell me that he knows I've changed a lot these days though during the time we are still dating, he feels unfair of not knowing something he wants to know. I went teary to be honest, the time he put his head on me while holding both of my hands and cuddling me in a way that I feel loved, a moment of unspeakable love was felt, really. 
• But like I said, I need a guy to that 'reconsider' question. I know I didn't answer this instantly, but now I have rethought about this question, maybe I need someone to support me at times like my dad used to do...

Catch up with Jenny (8th of Dec)

• I was late for the tutoring for an hour because of trackwork. But during that trip, a Macedonian old guy who was sitting next to me has told me that he has been here for 40 years, and viewing all these changes in Sydney as an economic development. In the beginning I thought of him as a pervert as he stared at my legs, it gave me an insecure feeling then I got my scarf out of my bag, covered myself with it. Until he started talking to me nicely, said he could wake me up when we got to Sydenham lol He even went with me to check when my train was going to come...   
• Anyways I ran to that kid's house as soon as I got off. 
• The kid was super mischievous even after his mum asked him to listen to his tutor...
• I had no idea how to make him get the concept of metaphor and simile even I have explained over and over again. If only he could pay a little bit more attention to the paper, he could have got it so easily, yet he was picking his fingers for several times. Once I saw that, I stopped and asked him to look back to the paper, he then started to tell me about his so-called funny stories. I interjected him by saying the number of the question SO LOUD in order to get back his concerntration for a bit. 
• He begged me for not telling his mum before we finished, though I have planned to tell her starting from the beginning, I didn't at the end=.= such a softie I am not wanting to see a kid get punished by his mum...
• Seeing Jennifer is another enjoyable outting for me. Even though I was surprised she wore such high platforms hence I was shorter than her today...We went to a shop to get her aunt something, then meet fresh to order some dessert. No shame at all when I said 'oh so you are shouting me? thank you' lool she wasn't even responded yet I already went up >> 
• This person loves to talk about her work and family. She was worried about how she goes with HSC and I said I can promise that she would get 80+ in the end, or else I will shout her lol
• We headed to darling harbour to chat a bit and watch a boring white guy performing. Less than 10 minutes, I already found his jokes would not be succeeded in entertaining the audience at all so we left. 
• We went karaoke as I suggested. 
• She took me to the restaurant she works afterward. We have ordered too much side dishes other than the roasted fish..
• Our talk was awesome as always. There has never been once that I don't enjoy being with her. We think alike so that our perspectives have always been something in common.
• I was unwilling to go townhall with her to catch the train but I ended up going there with her so we could talk more. Though it was 10:40 at night, plus trackwork could have brought so much trouble that late. Couldn't get home til 11:30-ish. This is what you call sacrificing for people who I enjoy being with lol