暖男，想念 (23rd of January)

其实每次见他都没有今天见到他那么想拥有一个人的感觉。我很讨厌远距离，但我更讨厌远距离的那段时间所造成的困扰。而且我也很害怕远距离所造成的种种不确定。抱了很久罢，也尝试着跟他说着心里话。问了很多问题，聊了很多东西。看了一下影片和喜剧，笑着，被他调侃着，被他宠着，隔着被子的拥抱还是很温暖着。然后一起打瞌睡，一起躺着说话，说着一些有意义的，还有一些毫无意义的。看到各种新闻我们研究起它的真实性。然后他又会说我裤子穿得那么短，屁股蛋都要露出来的小性感。整一天我们没有做到什么事情，却仿佛又过得很充实。因为某人的存在已经是我的开心小源泉了。然后他还煲了汤，说是给我补补身体。暖男，很温暖，真心觉得温暖。

所以当要回家的时候我还是会很舍不得。即使是一个月，也还是觉得很久。虽然我们本来也才一个星期见一次，但一个月还真的不能再久了罢。。毕竟我很讨厌那种摸不到打不到捏不到反正就是见不到肉体的感觉。。。也只能这样了，希望赶紧一个月后回来给我打屁屁，还希望赶紧回来给我煲汤给我做饭。。。

论生命 (22nd of January)

早上收到某人的紧急消息说是要立刻回国探望已经病入膏肓的爷爷。我心里顷刻间泛起了一丝感伤。那感觉就仿佛是当年没有见到老人家的最后一面的可惜。同时，偏偏这个时候遇到这种事，生日情人节什么的一切都泡汤了。不过也好，一个月，其实就一个月，可以放轻松地给自己原有的自由。认真去做自己想做的事情。没有杂念的时间应该还更高效罢。就当作是这一切是用来安慰自己的借口，我也仿佛是很希望他赶紧回去地同时抑制自己受伤的心情，什么也好，希望他能与家人尽快相聚。所以本来是周日见的计划改成明天见了。另外，某人终于pass了他的Ielts~！好家伙！某人终于可以释怀了。接下来就是弄PR的手续，希望一切顺利！

然后嘛，其实心情还是有点不太开心。找了人聊聊，然后还等不到电话，一个小时的课程又被这么个电话的等待时间浪费掉了。。。不过幸好，在有点郁闷的情况下还是有点小惊喜在等待着我。回到班上，迟到了刚好一小时，我举手叫Adam过来教我之前miss掉的东西，他略略地告诉了我4D cinema的某些东西，最后还突然说起了intern。他推荐我去一个月帮某老师某free lancer的一个project的video editing。虽说没有钱但经历的确挺重要的。所以我二话不说立即答应。考虑到这个月的忙碌和缺少见到某人的机会，大概接多点东西做让生活还变得丰富起来罢。

还有就是在努力调时间让周六周日丰富起来。毕竟缺少某人等于缺少生活里很重要的一部分，心情这方面还是会刚开始有点不习惯而空虚起来的。。。当Jack邀约起明天的rock climbing还有Nick要教我开车时，我也还是得以学开车为第一，所以很不舍得地拒绝了Jack的邀约，不过下周如果是安排在周日的话，我应该都没问题罢~话说某Eric也在我洗澡的时候打电话过来，我洗完后在FB上回他，原来某人也想着聚聚。话说回来，我跟他的交情还真的是超过7年之久了，久到我已经记不清楚当时是什么情况下认识他的。当我有难时，他总是第一时间站出来帮我解难，不愧是最有仗义的bro~还有Nick也是，人实在太Understanding，人生中还真的得有这些朋友的存在才会让这路走得更远更方便

再就是，某dar很体谅，很细腻，他竟然发现我最需要的东西是耳机这事。。。快哭了。。其实小事一桩但这显得他很暖男。正是因为他有注意过这些小事我更觉得我的男票棒棒哒!半夜时分嘛，可能刚好情绪有点失控，早上的那些压抑又再次在睡前袭来，于是我又有点闹脾气了。气氛是有那么点伤感的，真心在跟他聊着人生尽头，生与死的话题，他还是那么乐观，希望人走的时候还是开心的，而送的那些人也得要笑着面对。可能我的解读存粹是刁难他，于是我说，他很冷血，于是他回，我应该是你现任里最差的一个。于是的于是，我们更把气氛拉向了更高一点的伤感里。而我，仿佛是被他激怒了还是被他回国的消息当作是我发泄的借口，又或者是在某些话题里我们达不到的某种意识而产生的纠结的冲动，形成了勾起我当时高中最不开心的瞬间一下子又拉回了从前。那天那时那秒，听到外公去世的那个时刻，还可以听到自己心的破碎，眼泪已经不是表达悲伤最好的方式了。我奔回家的那段路的沉重，还有在空间里打字的那些片段，伴着泪雨磅礴的那个下午，我还是依稀记得。。但跟很多时候一样，其实我还蛮羡慕那些乐观的人，尤其是，他说的真的没错，人活着就该是乐观的去面对每一天。遇到什么事回过头来看都是小事，毕竟我们都挺过来了，还有什么是无法面对的。我对着某人生着我也无法描述是什么原因所生的气时，其实我都懂得，他们其实是对的，我可能是因为某种卑微，又或者是某情况下所承受不住的某瞬间带给我的寂寞感而抗议。很感谢某人，其实是他在悄悄地改变着我对生活的态度。就算是面对再难的事，仿佛在他眼里，都会用到一种特殊的方式去看待事情。他总不会让逆境带走他的阳光，他总能成为自己最好的化解尴尬和情感依托的那个人。我很羡慕他，也希望有他的态度去活着...

Lost graduent (21st of January)

My day started crappy...A thing that is supposedly easy to be solve but end up taking two lessons of mine to deal with. How could you put me on hold for almost 2 hours....So it all began with an usual call, I waited for the operator to respond. Half an hour later, she did. I then told her what the letter is supposed to mean or what action I should be taken. The purpose of the letter is definitely unclear, to me and to the operator. She then said she would transfer me to someone else. I waited for another 15 minutes or so, the same operator picked up the call. Apology and said she would put me on hold again. This time....it took like an hour to wait for the next person to respond. I was staring at the screen. Blankly. With a bit of anger. Like come on.....my class is soon to start..Can anyone at least give me a response or let me know what I should do about the letter? Until then, I was about to hang up. A lady picked up the call while I was munching the mushroom. Same as per usual, I proved who I am, told her what I need them to do etc. She said the money we owed and paid towards the overpayment might not be right. That means, we shouldn't have paid that amount of money...SO WHAT NOW? She said she would need to investigate more into the case, and give me an outcome tomorrow....(who knows if she would ever call back....)

so that's that....My catch up with my girl Ailin for 4 hours was so fun. We firstly walked up to that cafe and ordered something to drink. A while later, we started to talk about a lot of things related to studies and work. She complained about her life transformation in which now she seems to be a lot busier than ever. Doing master was her choice. But based on the sense of not willing to work or avoiding the fact to start working. This is not right. And now, she says how fun her Bachelor life was compare to how tedious her life is now. I then said she should try to learn something. Not the mainstream stuff, but more of something that is rarely learned by the majority. So if you can do well, that will make you even easier to the success. She agrees, but she doesn't have that courage to make the change. Or does she, even have that mindset to know what she really wants. It seems like, she yet knows what she wants at the deep of her heart. Except that she learns the pain from her breakup. Her lost in love and life. I goes, you seem to be having a good life. It is, when I always scroll her fb or wechat, her updates are full of life. She says, that is only for showing. I mean, true that. Who else doesn't pretend what their life really is, other than what the social media brings to the fame, love and popularity...Most importantly, you just gotta know who you really are. Or what you really want. From this aspect, I might be lucky, I should be feeling lucky. I know my specialty. I know what will give me a better life. I don't waste my time to do what girls normally do. I chase, and I dream. But I do, so I ain't just literally dream. For that part of citizenship. I indeed am lucky. Like what mum said, I should value what I have. Just looking at how hard people try every single way to get PR, how can I ignore the fact that I have taken something for granted....

Finishing that last mini task....HAPPPY for the result.....now I no worry about the second assignment. Can totally move it out of my way, and start with my finalssssss!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!

(20th of January)

Recommended movies in 2016 is out
I saved that list to my must-to-watch so that I won't forget
Was late for my VFX class due to my stupidity
Even though it was ok to miss out the first half an hour
Since Adam didn't say much about assignment
But then, I missed some contents learned for motion graphics
We got told that our final assignment is to do a 40 sec video out of 13 logos
Assumed that each logo will be taken at the minimum of 2 sec
the whole thing should be more or less with that 40 sec
Interestingly, we were taught with some motion graphics extra skills for god sake
like the particle effect in which he showed us how to make fire out of adjusting all the properties may affect to the final result of that

For concept art
I also am planning to get my final assignment digitally drawn
not sure how long it would take me
but after researching quite a decent amount of issues may interest me
I found that negative effects from media might be a good topic for my sequential drawings
not literally sequential
but want to make them as in 3 aspects related to the core

mango waffle made my day~ (night)
scrumptious to just have a nibble of the ice cream and mango together
on top of that
the softness of waffle is good enough this time
not overcook or anything, but just perfectly right with the toppings

before going to end my post
I need to really say I'm really that proud of myself for getting another HD for my assignment
Not bragging or anything
but I wish I would get HD for both subjects

From frustration to reminiscence (19th of January)

You realized the fact that how one thing is pretty annoying when it's crashed...

I mean...I empathize those with their houses got damaged by bushfire....but please, the system...can you just try to get back up to normal? Others like me who does report for my mum as a nominee needs just one click to finish that...But just because the system went down, I had to download and install the app. Prior to that, I also needed to remove a lot of stuff by emptying more space to restore the app....After that, you now tell me I can't get access to mum's account through mine? I don't seem to find a button where it directs me to my mum's....I seriously couldn't...

Ended up waiting in the line for almost an hour on phone...I almost got pissed off to the point where I had this attempt to smash the wall...Until this nice lady on the other end responded me with good manner, helping me to go through the report thing....

so that's almost the day like wasting a couple hours of mine.....The day only started better with the meetup with my friend Jack. One of my good friends in high school who I tried to reconnect with. Knowing how tedious one's life could be, just by hearing some of his stories during uni. So quitting was the best decision he ever made. He's now working in the Star, earning so much better than before. Having so much to tell me about his night working life. Not so hardship. Except that he had to live in a condition of being fully awake at night. We then up to where this curious baby being curious of almost everything about working in the Star. I learned those experience from his descriptive stories, as if that actually happened right in front of my face. I felt sorry for his cousin too. As he mentioned that negative part of gambling. The addiction has driven a person to a dead end was proven by the tragedy of his cousin's death...I don't think anyone, especially anyone that love you would like to see that confronting truth....I mean, how saddened that is for his family to accept it...

Anyhow...It seems to be like nothing to do with me. But I felt a lot from people's stories. Recalling a recent tragedy is sad enough....Other than that, we also talked about the changes we saw from our high school friends. Some have become the rich, and some, still stay the same.....

Lastly...my new drawing is up. I spent that 2 hours on filling details of the eye and shadows surrounded. Without a bit of patience, the artwork won't go that as vivid as its final result. It really worth everything and so much effort after seeing how my idea has become as it is now. Just like how a beautiful piece of melody played for the movie 'Our time'. It's not simply just a song, but it also adds to a higher level of romance to the atmosphere we recall our time back then. The lyrics generate so much feels. More than ever that I ask for...

(18th of January)

小幸运this song really aroused that part of memories....
so I wanted somebody to record it some day >3<
so I was told that we will be learning motion graphics this week
I started to do my own research on YouTube...
then got my composition ready
and using some simple shapes to create some flow of motions...
coming back home for continuing research
watching some motion graphics
in order to insert some great ideas that I haven't thought about from those sources
can't wait to finish up my own video soon leh...

(17th of January)

Typical day to be with dar dar
fun, loving and warmth
those moments of good gags burst out laughing like a crazy
especially when watching that movie
it reminded me of my golden teenage period
we had doubt of whether that movie has reflected upon the fact of school life
as we went through
we did find that special connection is made
thanks for dar dar's chicken
and his recommended Japanese series
worth a good laugh and talk
I swear if someone encourages me more
I would seriously love to have more opportunity to cook
or even, gradually love cooking lol