A sleepy face...

21th of Sep

No...I am more than sleepy...

She dragged me to go shopping with her, I did. She asked me to carry shopping bags and waited her at coles, I did. She asked me to ask people around for a particular item she wanted, I did.

She felt happy, a super happy face emerged. I was sleepy though lool

Jennifer asked me to fix her essays so I chopped some parts off, telling her to avoid memorizing historical background for that poem as she doesn't need it during the exam. Later she asked me more and more specific questions in literature that I have never thought of before. She's such a good child

Had a talk with mum during dinner. She sees me as more suitable to be a teacher or anything that has to do with educating others when I told her that I am sort of into teaching people skills in a unique way. Just like how I used to post my articles in qq-zone, where I express my philosophical view regardless of some people may disagree. But this is my view, not theirs, you have your option to read my posts and comment on them while I have my choice to do that with my joy

And then I told her about my determination of getting a certificate of translation as back up. Ideally, having something that you can specialize in is good, but by now, I am still seeking for that particular one field which is the best for my career path. Education may be a good choice, being a teacher can be really stable but do I really want that? Or what I am thinking is to get something that is not achievable, challenging so I can feel that I am doing something big? (Obviously I love everything to be BIG....) Maybe that's why I never follow our stereotypical Asian trend to do business, finance, economics, commerce, science and maths etc 

After dinner, Jenny wanted to ask panpan if he can teach her some strategies to write better business reports. I established a group chat just for them to sort this out. Both of them replied so slow though, especially panpan who seems so busy all the time....Everyone came back from shower, and then a really casual conversation started from me, who was trying to alive our randomness so to cover the awkwardness between them both. 

Jenny left at 12-ish. I continued with my delayed post and that panpan joyfully told me that he's reading something about inheritance. He didn't comment on anything as he said before anyways, instead, he ended up falling asleep, each and everytime. I didn't feel happy, and when I say I didn't feel happy, I don't mean I wanted him to stay with me late to talk, not letting him go, but at least don't give me the brush off when I wanted to talk. Even when he had time to talk, he watched Youtube and replied once in a while...

So what I can do about it? Sleep. I know everything will be gone once I wake up in the morning. Btw listening to Pitbull's song is not a bad choice either, his 'international love' makes me feel so internationalized... 

Barrier..

20th of Sep (Another delayed post)

Marriage

When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship

• Congratulation to my dearest cousin who just got married today, wish you and your wife will be having a great life afterward despite all the obstacles and difficulties that are laying ahead
• I already can feel my cousin has entered his fatherhood before he's turning into a father. He has given me a lesson on the phone, asking me why I wasn't home with mum in Moon fest.
• 'Moon fest is supposed to be with family' 'You should take care of your mum more' If mum has heard it, she would have felt so warm
• Unfortunately I can't go back to China this time to attend his wedding

Language

• She came back with madness because she was having hard time explaining what she was attempted to do to the counter
• I asked her to chill, she told me 'How can you chill with something that you are unable to do, I was acting like a dummy in the public when I can't speak the language saying something I wanna say. They looked at me as if I am a weirdo :/ '
• This is her, a person just cannot let something go in several hours 
• This is life, barrier exists, you just gotta learn so to overcome it. But it will be always there as she doesn't even want to just take one step further into learning

Moon fest

19th of Sep

'Forever lateness' as panpan said, is the best phrase to describe one of my attributes. But this time, I was late not because I slept in, but I was busy talking about something with mum during our lunch time. I was told that my youngest cousin, the one I like the most from my mum's side is getting married tomorrow. Though his marriage has prompted a lot of disputes within our family, but I am pretty sure he's tough enough to handle all of those, that are coming within the family, as well as how the outsiders see his marriage. He has my blessing :) What comes next? my second youngest cousin from that fattie's side is also getting married in November. It may be my turn next lol 

If forming a family means another important stage of your life, then I think I am still really far from this. When a friend asked if my current relationship is stable, I said not really. Our relationship talk was deep, it was a right choice to stay with her after the tut, who was also waiting for her bf. Instead of doing my uni work, we ended up talking about relationship and life problem, and once you get yourself into this kinds of topics, it's hard to pull yourself out and say 'Let's talk about it next time'.

Gwinny seems so loyal. The first impression I had towards her was completely the opposite from what she has told me today. I sounded more like I am the playful one here, who keeps having relationships in 5 years. She told me about her bf, who is going to travel around Japan and Korea with another four friends of his. The worriment I saw from her eyes, saying that she wouldn't put any restriction upon her bf, but indeed she cares quite a lot whether he would do something beyond what he could be doing in a sheer opened country. I then told her not to worry too much, as mine has been working with his ex in hj, as well as taking so many couple-like photos with his close girl friends, going out with only one girl sometimes, so what? we are still dating. She just kept on asking me 'And you accept that?' I then went on my FB account and showed her his photos and said, 'Yes, I accept that, all of that' She said panpan looks like Hongki, his look on the photos give her an illusion of someone that has so many female friends, simply saying, a playful one. I was like, that was what I thought about him the first time I saw him as well lol

Because of this, I was late to meet up with panpan for at least an hour. Anyways, I feel really happy for him turning into a manager soon in a month time as well. He's much better than me who is still jobless. Same as usual, we two had no destination whenever we go out. To be precise, I was the one that only wanted to find a place to sit down and talk. So once again, we sat at darling harbour for 2 hours. All that teasing, biting, bullying and trolling is meant to happen between couples, it's just we do it much more than others. He even wanted to throw me into the water in a playful manner. I gave him so many times of I-don't-give-a-shit face because I am just so evil like that :3 

We had Japanese food for our dinner as I couldn't decide what to eat. I seriously want to go to an African restaurant for once, or maybe something that I have never tried before. During that one hour of dinner time, there were two guys with apple brand laptops negotiating their business project right in front of us, I was quietly eating my meal while eavesdropping their business conversation. It was not really a nice thing to do but as they were willing to bring this to the public, there shouldn't be ashamed to hear their private convo right? To my little wish, I just hope I can get in a big company and have a job like theirs, working as a passionate and active employee that will be doing something fun and I enjoy the most, such as the fields of design or media. Because for now, I am still at a loss and uncertain about what I should be specializing in. And recently, there was another idea popping up, which is to get a certificate of translation as a back up. 

Anyways, I enjoyed my dinner with panpan. His little claws are so sharp that making me damn itchy when he slightly scratched my leg. And I do know I am getting fatter everyday just from the pinchable fat fat on my tummy, is signifying that I am slowly integrating into the fattie groups>.>  

Today was a great great day, everything went well, and I found us a bit connected, except for the last bit before we both departed from townhall. He forgot to give back my phone, also left his keys in my bag. I didn't realize we both got each other's stuff until I got down to my platform. He should have come with me so it wouldn't happen in that way. But he left. I ran up and looked for him everywhere in anxiety. I asked for 5 strangers' phones, got rejected by 2 of them, one said she couldn't make a call in Australia and finally found two of my life savers at the platform. The brown guy even missed two trains during the time I tried to contact panpan. Another girl who looks pretty nice, and sitting at the stairs playing with her phone, I asked for her phone to make so many calls but none of them has picked up by panpan. It was totally my own fault as I set my ringtone's volume to the minimum. So finally there was no way out, I called my mum asking for my own bf's number, claiming that was really urgent. Right after I got his number, called him and asked him to come back to townhall with my grumpy tone. Thanks to that girl or else I would be in big trouble when I got home tonight..

After being impatient waiting for 45 minutes, he finally came. I just walked away, he pulled me back to him, hugged me and apologized. Then I pushed him away, and once again he hugged me from the back. It was quite a dramatic scene that was happening at the train station lol Stubborn me got away from his tightly panpan hug, rushed to the escalator, this time he let me go :( But then I got down there and checked what time the train was going to come. The yellow screen emerged by the time I looked at it, I was like fml..=.= you must be kidding me...Then I ran back upstairs, in the meantime texting that panpan. He was still standing there, so we went back to central.

It was a gloomy 'goodbye' before I got on the train though...It wasn't supposed to be ended this way :S and I couldn't cool myself down by thinking about what would happen later when I got home. What if she has called my friends? What if she has called him and found out I lied (as I said I would go gym with my friends today) What if....What if....yes...What if.....

I was fully prepared for any questioning from her. Unexpectedly she was fully happy saying happy moon fest once I opened the door lol 

As it is moon fest, I shouldn't be that mad, at least not to go to sleep with this mood. We talked, we were back to normal :) Thanks for the day, thanks for having this special someone to spend the moon fest with me, I felt loved and warm :3

Workaholic

18th of September

I see myself as one of the workaholics in this busy life. Please show me how I can not be one, if my goal is so high that there is so much to do in just one day. I plan things well, even though it doesn't really happen all the time, but when I am serious, I don't leave them for tomorrow...

Today is Wednesday, I found a bean bag at the library once I got there. Staying there for coupler hours to do my readings for course 2094. Now I am gradually getting to adapt to the massive amount of readings weekly, it doesn't really take that long to finish 70+ pages if I know 'skipping the irrelevant' and 'extracting the relevant'..

During the time I enjoyed my good reading time, there was this couple next to me hugging each other to sleep, and they were being super touchy-feely when they woke up. I was tempted to turn and silently stare at them but nah... concentration was one, completing my plans was two. I could hear their lovable giggling and tickling, so I took my phone out of my bag, put my earphones on to prevent myself from all that. 

Didn't get home til 8 again, now you can see how hard working I am. After dinner, I got back to my plan, continued on my reading for course 2091...

Tomorrow is moon fest, a festival that is supposed to be a family gathering. Guess I would be going to grandma's house with parents if I am now in China. The drinking, the family talk with all of my cousins, uncles and aunts, something that is to bring everyone together. Even though in these years, we are getting less to contact one another, like all my cousins have been living afar from each other, in other cities, provinces, even overseas, like me, who only talk to them via the online chatting tool. But I still miss those time when all of us roaming on the street with lanterns, the older cousins would take us, the younger ones to somewhere darker and then we would get frightened. I am the second youngest one among them, our smallest cousin would be always walk with me so we could protect each other. It was more like a ghost encounter for both of us while the older ones knew there wasn't anything going to happen...

All these memories remain, this is why we call them as memories, something that keeps coming back. I really do hope my big fattie from oversea is coming here one day... What else can be more important than a family, tell me.

This year, I am spending my moon fest with panpan. A decision was made in the last minute before we both were going to go to sleep. It was the time that he would be easily fallen asleep, so I ended up calling him for once, just to wake him up to talk about this as my credit is running out, there is no way I can text/call him the next day...And he fell back to sleep the second time right after he was awoken by my phone call..=.= 

Lastly, happy moon fest to any workaholics, take care of yourself and cherish the time to be with your family and the important ones in this fest :)    

Untitled(4)

• I heard some noises made from the friction of the plastic bags in my room. I opened my eyes, saw my mum looking for something
• She said she couldn't find her change of name certificate...I jumped out of my bed and helped her to look for it before she got pissed off
• Sadly her impatience has arisen without her knowing, I was just asking something but she was already fully pissed at me...
• That was a smart move: try to cool her down without saying anything, just be quiet and listen to her, do not add any comments because whatever I say in this moment can be never right...
• It was really stupid to ask her if I can carry my bag...She was like  'why do you always have to carry your bag? what's in your bag huh? you gonna carry stuff for me later? why do you need your bag for? Then later you gonna say this or that is heavy...I carry all the heavy ones and you complain and all that *=.=.....*
• ^ yes...I just asked one question...
• Zipped my mouth....
• The door was being so weird whenever it closed before it left every stop... 'The door is closing...the dooo-oooooooooo-oo....do-ooo-doo-do-do-dooo-dooooo-ooo-ooooooo-orr-rrr-orr-rr is-sss-i-i-i-s-sss clo-lo-looo-sing' LMAO...majority of people were laughing including her, who was being really pissed at her lost certificate lol
• Appointment goes well...blood-related was not allowed to translate so I sat there quietly...
• She was gonna cry...gonna cry once the interpreter asked why she quit her job
• Yes...that scary encounter at night back in 2 yrs ago has left her a shadow as soon as someone brings it up 
• Anyways....back home, found her certificate in one of the baggage...weeeee that moment when she finally found it under the sheet in that baggage lool 
• I received a big bear hug, also an ice-cream as reward coz I reminded her to check other baggage lol
• The topic for tonight's dinner was idols lol 
• The sweetest thing I've heard from mum tonight was 'I used to think I live for no one else but (name omitted), but then after everything was faded away between us, I now know I live for no one else but you...Anyone can be gone but you, the only one that I have loved for so many years til now...' 
• dang...that saying...has softened my heart to a tofu...
• Nick, the one who I haven't met for more than half a year since I came back from oversea, just talked to me tonight. He asked when I am free so apparently he's free...Playing badminton is cool, but not telling his gf about meeting up with me is lol. I am happy that I can see my close friend again. People do change but as long as they ask for a reunion, means once again you are remembered :)    

My active theory(2)

16th of Sep:

Yay I love Monday!!! xD

However I didn't feel that well in the morning, either did panpan..His diarrhea made him feel even worse than the sore throat...But nothing can stop his nautiness, I deliberately hugged him really tight once I saw him at central, and I hysterically screamed when he groped my most ticklish part in the public...>.>

In uni...I found a bean bag that was available for me to lie on for 3 hours. Sleeping in the library would have been always making me feel like a badass, but sleeping on the bean bag didn't have my guilt involved because that is a place for us to rest on :)

After I woke up at 12...I received a missed call from her. I called her back. She was just afraid if I have anything to do for tomorrow, which I have nothing to plan on. 

I left my lovely bean bag area, headed to that conversation group. Vicky came afterward. We went in after the previous group left. Kris then took a roll call and to confirm if I was that talkative girl from last time...>.> What we did for that one hour was to talk about something unusual happened in this week as well as our ambition/aspiration... 

Vicky told the class about her roommate who just moved out for her bf. Then I told the class about my shocking encounter of the pedo, Kris was really nice to correct my minor mistakes when I described the event lool She also shared her experiences when she was much younger, the girl who sat next to me(don't know her name>.>) also told us about hers...Then one of the Korean girls asked me to put heavy makeup so I won't look too easy going lool and don't make eye contact when catching public transport. She said that she has never encountered such a thing even though she's been travelling to so many countries alone. Maybe I just don't look as confident as her when I walk? She does look like one of those tough ones that can defeat a guy who's taller than her lol 

It was her turn to talk about hers, she said she's got a really bad day because her boss didn't call her to work, yet she couldn't do her assignment in her day off...Everyone was like awwwwwwwww...Another girl then talked about her eventful day in Chatswood, where it celebrated for the upcoming Spring...The parade sounded really fun, particularly a group of Falun Gong was there to take part in the parade so that was really surprising. Jean seems like that she's having a great life there as she went kayaking, horse riding :3

After the group...Vicky, my new buddy who also had a break so I initially invited her to grab lunch together from cafe. She said she was on diet but I see no point of her to be on diet...she looks so damn skinny>.> During the time we were waiting for her to get the food, Kris came and joined us in the line, then my friend Shabrina found me >.> She was like !!!Why didn't you reply my text?>.< I asked if you went to the lecture because I heard that they were going to talk about the in-class exam in week 11!!! 

....REALLY? sorry...I was sleeping in the library at that time...>.> She facepalmed...said... Did any of your friends go then?>.<  'I guess so....dw...I will ask them when I get home...'

As soon as I saw Shabrina, I led my friend Vicky to their table, Michael and Bianda were also there having their lunch. Michael asked me if I've ever worn contacts, I told them what I heard from the news, the girl who turned blind because she forgot to take it off from her eyes during the bbq gathering, so the contacts melted on her eyes under the heat... 

That was indeed a lively talk because five of us teased each other, even Vicky got along with them pretty well though that was the first time that I introduced them to her. Michael and Bianda were so random, they spoke Japanese instead of Indonesian to each other lool Shabrina was like 'WHAT? yisha...do you get what they are talking about? O.O' I giggled and both of them asked me to shush in Chinese...So I was like O.O 'ok fine....you guys can speak several languages..>.>' 

Herlin came from nowhere, and I guess 'small world' happens all the time lool Vicky knew Herlin from her management class...She was like 'O.O oh I think that girl is in my management class, you guys are friends?' The rest of us were like 'small world........' at the same time....Herlin and Vicky bursted out laughing. But Herlin doesn't know her personally, so now they make friends because of me :D 

My crazy friend Bianda loudly shouted 'I'VE GOT KOREAN TUT NOW!!' right after she finished her lunch, everyone was staring at her.. froze....more than 5 seconds....(.....) 'Can I join? xD' I asked...and that broke the awkwardness in a really awkward way lool Herlin was like 'So what? I've got my advanced Chinese tut later' 'Oh...I wanna join that tut as well, I will ace that course for sure ;)' 

6 of us left the cafe, heading to different directions. I asked where Michael was going, he said he's just gonna stay in the library to do his work. 'Just go home man...you've got no classes...you can go home and lie on your bed to do your work, much more comfy than the library right?' He responded 'exactly, I won't have this attempt to do my work as it's too comfy at home lool' yeah true>.> lool

In my tut, Gwinny and my new friend were in the same group discussion as me, we three were sitting at the front figuring out what to say for the overall purpose of Jackson's presentation. Gwinny asked me how to distinguish between action and reaction narrative processes in terms of visual communication. 

Later the tutor asked all of us to write a paragraph for those three images from the slide. Our group got the first image and I wrote half of the page in that 4 minutes, whereas Gwinny only wrote down a few lines for it..She then said why I wrote that much...I read hers, said why you wrote so little lool The difference between us was I picked up so many evidence so to back up each of my element....btw the tutor read mine in the class>.> My writing was so shit when I write fast lol, I wasn't even sure if she can read what I have written there lool But she did say my one was a good answer like Tara's :3

The worst moment was when I had my constipation and that has lasted for several hours...That was one of the reasons I didn't get to do any work tonight=.=....  

Fattie post (15th of Sep, 2013)

15th of Sep:

In the morning, I got to Chatswood at 10:40 to tutor my precious student>.> That lil kid saw me and said 'Why don't you bring a jacket with you, it will be cold later' I guess that was the really first time he has ever shown a bit caring, and I did feel a bit warm when he asked :) 

He extraordinarily behaved so well in that two hours for some reason. I assumed that was because of his mum, who hit him last time after I left. I checked his model of the bush campus and have fixed his poorly written speech on a piece of paper. His writing was quite shocking to be honest, so that has given me a bit of headache, But then he said he didn't get my writing=.= Anyways, I checked his speech and rewrote three paragraphs for him...He looked at me and said 'Can you use some simpler words or else I would be having a hard time pronounce them when I do my speech' >.> Just so hard to satisfy a person overall...

We spent some time on his English booklet. There was this fill-in-the-blank section where he picked the correct word from the list, I should say that he IS smart but he tend to rush to do everything. For example, this sentence is something like 'this person felt _____ when he received an A+ for his exam' He wrote down 'angry' as soon as he saw the word, didn't even take a second thought before he put it down. I was like...you sure you will be angry when you receive an A+ for your exam? *pointing at the list* He erased his answer, and said 'ahhhh sorry...is it 'delighted'? ' 

A yr3 kid is not as innocent as I thought btw, the word 'dirty' is meant to be just a regular word for a kid, I didn't even think he would think about something else other than its literal meaning...He gave me a wink right after he wrote down the comparative and superlative words for 'dirty'...As he tried to implicitly hint at something, I was like 'ohhhhh what was that? ;)' He poked my arm and said 'ehehehe you know ;))' 

The creative writing for this week is about news, which was another fascinating topic for a kid like him who loves to imagine things. For that  news bit, I gave him some ideas such as write about a girl that got hit by the truck....He thought for a second, asked me if I could think about something more innovative...I then suggested him to write about a farmer has found out a bunch of kangaroos' dead bodies were lying on the street, later the scientists have discovered that it caused by the poisonous plants they have eaten a week ago..He nodded and said 'uhuh~good story'

After the lesson, I was told that school holidays are starting from next week, means I don't need to come til she calls me again...

Another shocking encounter on the train: As panpan said, why would I knock into pedo this often...There was this brown asian man got on the same train as me. He carried so many shopping bags and put them all on the other seats but chose to sit at the same row as me. I found him really shifty once he moved all his shopping bags next to him as if he's up to something...I took a glance...saw a rubbing movement so I froze, turned back my head and pretended I was still facing the front but in fact, I was alerted to watching him through my long fringe. The rubbing movement went faster and faster, he then kept leaning over to see if I was watching him....I got up, he stopped...I walked up and dropped off from the train....Filthy people these days...

Took me ages to arrive in Ashfield to visit that panpan. I thought we would study quietly as we planned, maybe I thought too much, how CAN you study with another person around especially your own bf...>.> His mum came back so early though, so hiding me from his mum was as risky as an adventure...I left his house but took the wrong earphones lol

Lastly why would I name my post as a fattie post? coz...I'VE GAINED WEIGHT!! 2kg....yes 2kg....it's a big number for a shortie like me...Posting a status to announce to the world about my weight gain, my friend Annie from Melbourne said something that awoken me...She was right, my irregular sleeping and eating patterns contribute to my weight gain unfortunately :S 

Mum thought I would be sad, I wasn't sad but I was more like frustrated...She kept on saying I look fine with a body shape like this, not too skinny and not fat either, hugging me is a super comfortable feeling blah blah blah...just to make me to feel better. But she didn't know instead of making this not to seem as serious as it is, her emphasis on that has brought me a feeling of loss. Over-comforting will only spoil the effect man...=.=

Eric also commented on my status, but the next second he updated his status saying he wouldn't be on Fb for a while for some unknown reason. His disappearance was like a mystery, nobody ever known what this guy is thinking...

Sorry for the delayed post..a really really delayed post that was supposed to be done 3 days ago...but oh well>.>