Le goal is there..look bright to my future (11th of July)

received my dearest's messages in the early morning

and I was told that he wouldn't be able to make it tomorrow

a bit of disappointed I guess?

so I chose not to talk to him til he once again, sent me messages at 4-ish

well well well....I know I should understand him more

knowing fairly well it's a critical moment for him to get everything done by the end of next month

it is quite tough...

anyways...

I found out a lot more about rising sun picture tonight

RSP has provided visual effects for more than 30 Hollywood films in the past a few years

including those ones you may say wow

Harry Potter!!!

Gatsby!!

Prometheus!!!

yesssssssss Wolverine and and and X-man!!

holy molly...

I almost screamed out as that list of projects appeared at the screen

Now my goal is even clearer than ever

I would find my way to get there at the very end

hopefully there will be one day I see my name under that list of credits

my tiny little name will be found somewhere on the screen...

I might sound overly excited

but hello~It's almost the ultimate step to get myself closer to my dream...

Also I found out several software they use or say

any leading visual effects companies heavily dependent on those software

Hence, I'm planning to learn one of them by heart on my own some day

maybe when I finish class at AIT?

That sounds great right? :)

PS: not able to sleep at night

even that act of rolling over has awaken my mummy next door

she came over and lied next to me

we talked a lot for the rest of the night

as we both were fully awake

her past, her love towards both her dearest and I

the problem she's been facing recently

her consideration of us moving to elsewhere

her avoidence to not let herself be a burden for me if anything does happen to her

her truly deepest love for me is what I remembered the most

that visceral talk while holding my hand tightly under the sheet

and the fear of losing me etc

has touched that really bottom of my heart...

I love you too mum

ever ever...to thank you for all the years to spend with me and raise me up

I promise I will not let you down

and make you proud..

New friends (10th of July)

I'm glad that I attended that appointment

the career adviser has been so nice

he helped me improve my resume in a way

by asking me to write everything more specific

I got all my answers for something I wanted to know

and he also encouraged me to try to look for intern

by saying I'll never know if I'll succeed to get the position

I felt I approached my dream job for a little

after seeing him

he got me realize how it is necessary to start things early

and how attention in details makes a difference to impress people

a long talk on the phone with her about what I learned from the interview

which is correlated to what I read from the book

was a really great talk via phone

while I had that one moment to feel that I am so going to get in film industry if I insist myself to it

I was invited to have dinner with his friends

because the Jap has just received his offer to a Jap restaurant

we were all there to celebrate for him tonight

though I was only getting to know him

he seems to be a really adorable one

having everyone to teach him English

I tried to get myself fit in the group as I didn't want to feel left out

but at the same time, I didn't want to make myself seem annoying

considering how much I would talk and when to talk in front of a group of strangers

I chose to be a silent one during dinner time

they were all quiet too

but beside that

I knew he tried to encourage me to talk to his friends

so I did so, to ask questions and be nice where I felt they were engaged

I mean, they are really really nice

it was happy to meet them

some of them even almost made the noodle soup spill at my face

when they tried to use chopsticks to get the noodles

funny how they carefully tried not to scare me by slowly getting the noodles into their bowls

Malaysian is nice too but a bit sissy tbh lol

his accent and body language have made him an overly tender one of a kind

good feel to make some new friends

that happiness could last so long

even along with me on my way home...

Looking into media industry (9th of July)

That feel was crappy in the beginning of the day

til my attempt to go for some gross videos online

which I changed from sleep-deprived zombie-like to a hyperactive maniac 

I started my readings earlier than usual

when came across to some recommended key words, concepts, organisations or whatnot

I would eager to know them all by doing some research on each of them

Today, I learned a lot

including the media organisations that are supposedly known

the local visual effects company as well

oh, of course, the q&a section was also informative

which letting me know much more about media industry in depth

the actual experience of those working in rising sun pic

animal logic

white agency

ninemsn etc

their answers to the questions have provided me at an extent of understanding how the internal structure is like

what attributes, experience the employers are looking for within the graduates

how we should be specialised in some aspects, and likely to being a generalist in other aspects

the difference to work within a public and private organisations is also vital

I was so glad that I found this book

is extremely useful to add so much perspective to view the industry

Given that I also have a good plan to be a better self

this is a good starting point to have that confidence back

taking some skills listed in a few pages of that book, also from those executives who

pointed out that time management, projection management, attention to detail, adaptive skills

are no less important than that of other attributes

in fact, they are the top skills the employers are seeking from us

what is more...

hmmm...thanks for another deep talk with her

and a lot of support from dar dar

he might think I sometimes am annoying lol

since I kept on telling him the things I did, things I knew and all those discoveries I found amazing

good good day after all :3

A lot (8th of July)

Nice talk with fattie from oversea

he was quite encouraging when I told him my wish to go intern in Beijing

we had our talk for work and relationship too

so now he can finally understand me better

heard that somebody's Jap Jap friend is moving out

because of that conflict he had with the landlady

I truly understand how he has been feeling for not being able to express his thoughts though

another sleepless night....

must be reading too much

plus thinking a lot

which result in that constant thinking process even on bed...

AIT visit (7th of July)

A deep talk with mummy

about my attempt to go Beijing for an intern

thanks for her support and understanding

it's usually hard for her to agree with that

but she did this time

so I had this mixed feeling

sobbing on my way to Central

that feels for being accepted while a kind of fear not sure what will happen in the future 

not much at AIT

after I checked the timetable for any changes I could have made

without other available classes for my uni subjects

I can only take one subject at AIT to avoid all the possible clashes with uni

then now intern is a must-do for this sem

I seriously need to work

like come on....like the post I read last night

I'm really scared of not being able to find a job after I graduate if I still don't have an intern atm

anyways I also sent an email asking to apply for that vhub thing

hopefully I can get it

and I really want to get in for some video editing experience

got a lot to do...

gotta plan...

Job hunting (6th of July)

been doing some preparation for career expo

imagining myself to get into some big company for work

I mean, it's better to have a dream than nothing

so much job hunting for the rest of the day

some volunteer program is good

being a part of that community to help the refugees doesn't sound bad at all

except that the application form and the place seem to be a bit dodgy

when all they ask you to fill in contains too much private information

plus lots of rules have to be followed

some jobs are fine though

however, assumed that not much time I can spare to take an intern

the paid intern I meant

I will have to keep looking for the one that suits me the best

money money money money...

I know how hard that is to live in such a situation

even struggling with the really regular basis of things

could be that annoying

I understand her worriment

but she shouldn't have taken the both on the same scale

money cannot measure everything

the core value of jobs is to learn, at least at my stage

I, being such an inexperienced

what else you expect others to pay that much for an intern?

lastly...

ps learning before going to bed

that's the only thing keeps me alive so far

it's really my choice, my interest

that pure, without anything getting me as worried as how to look for a job...

Really, le mockingjay (5th of July)

rejection again, makes me think that I am less important than anything else
I mean, we only meet once a week
yet you still can't fulfill my wish
yes, you might say I am taking so less concern with your work
or not even care and understand you more
the rejection was real
I won't ever force it on you because there is no point
even the struggling on bed made me realize how foolish that is to get something started
nakedness has made us see even clearer what the fact is
and like the movie Mockingjay
it's getting banal
people are attempted to kindle the fire and let mockingjay be the power to bring everyone together
but there is one thing or that one person, or a reason
stopping Katniss ambition to go even further
and that is, Peetar, who was held hostage by the capitol
as to exchange the plan to cease fire or rebellion from the power to fight for unjust
like us, we always have a situation, or a barrier to overcome
you think everything can be up to your wish
and pure, simple
and follow your heart
not
............

anyways....
I really am getting used to it...

lastly, thanks for le compliment on my poorly cutting skills
the potatoes cutting was fine
still much better than the peeling
thanks for the meal too
me was bloated after all...