Wednesday..

Ailin didn't get to come to expo with us today and I made Haiwon wait at the library for almost half an hour because I missed my train. I felt so bad and sorry for everyone around me when it comes to an outting with me>.> I haven't seen Haiwon for the entire holidays, I miss this girl so much since she's one of the friends in uni I would consider as close. By talking about close, she gives me a feeling of being a really good listener, and her attitude is the best among all the people I know from uni.

Anyhow, we have been waiting there for almost an hour, standing under the heat and waiting for those pink shirt people to call us out to sign for the stickers. During the time of waiting, Haiwon told me about her epic holidays in Korea and went to her cousin's wedding in Canada. Then she gave me a souvenir she bought from Korea. A really cute notebook and a sort of iphone/laptop wiper? The way she gave me was soooooo adorable as well :3 I asked her to think about some questions to ask the employers later, she said she hasn't done much preparation as she just registered on career online site last night. Oh well, I mean you can never do enough of preparation when it comes to a face to face application, only if build-up confidence is here not to have the fear of doing lacking preparation.

We went in, talked to several employers in this crowded space. Everyone was narrowing the way we walked as well as we did the same to others. That exchange program I applied for AIESEC is not going to work for sure, I won't leave my mummy alone for more than 6 weeks...Also the internship and the person who's major in the area I want to apply for has been telling me how great this job is, what sort of interesting projects she's taking a role in, how fast this institution will get you improved in different fields, and how competitive to get to this position. And I only care about the last bit the most. At this stage, I cannot measure whether a project I will be taken is fun or not, also knowing it doesn't matter how much improvement this will help me because whatever you are doing is already an improvement itself.

Internship expo was ok-ish...no doubt, I wouldn't get accepted as every one of them is in high demand>.>

Then I left my beloved friend Haiwon, gave her a hug before her lecture started and wished her to have a good time there...She gave me a :S face signifying her unpleasant to her lecture lol

I was told not to go there too early by the bf right after I sent him a text telling him I was going. The really first time we were so sync. So I went to Hyde park and did 10 pages of readings. During that one hour, there was this oldie sitting opposite of me on the bench playing his accordion, the sorrowful rhythm has played out his separation from the mainstream when I looked into his eyes, the hopelessness and helplessness can only be felt by someone, who has been sitting there quietly for the whole time.

It was still so inspiring and encouraging to see somebody tried to earn a living with his performance, in my eyes, it was simple yet persistent. Don't know what kind of reason cause him to make this move, but he has given me this idea of once I've set my mind on the goal, I must go through with the task. My persistence may not be rewarded, but the sustained effort will be letting me to have one step closer to my success.

ok I've gone too far lol, the alone time with bf was...>.> with all those tantalising moves and stuff..We stared at each other's face for quite a while after I rejected to give him my password of Facebook. He then said I owe him =.= *contents omitted* So yeh, my manliness was up once I became crazy and random squashing his chest, pressing him on the carpet, pushing him towards his bed when he was sitting in a wrong position>.>

Funny how we reacted towards the ad of pizza at the platform when we both were tortured from super starvation. Nothing was sexier than that ad...the only unhappy moment was he kept asking my reason of not giving him the password and unwillingness to let him know about my past. Well, I will feel insecure if a person sees me through my mask? The transparency of one's identity and experiences may be a constraint to certain circumstances if others know too much I would say.

By the time I came back home, I was already damn tired...oh oh btw in my trip to central, I smelt something burning on the train, so did others>< I was like oh noooooo... is this terrorism or some sort? Several people in my carriage went for the emergency button and talked to the driver, everyone was asked to drop off once the train got to central...I just left instantly, didn't want to know what was going on there, I mean what if there was something danger during the time I stayed...

Last word: this post is for yesterday...I was too tired to update =.=