Uncertainties (30th of Nov)

• The fourth day of jogging and I felt so great, even my mum said my complexion seems to be better than before.
• Headed to panpan's house right after I had a shower and ate my breakie
• Before I started walking to his house, he has told me that his dad would be home the whole day, which means, I couldn't go but I was already there...Oddly madness came all in a sudden, walked back to the train station straightaway without even saying anything back, then didn't leave him a message til I got on the train and left. 
• That stubborn me emerged I knew, couldn't really calm myself down til I reached Central, where I was being so bossy inviting him to go Hursy with me. I truly understand why he was so upset of what I did because if I was him, my gf ridiculously dogged me in the day which we have planned a week ago meeting up each other, I would totally ignore this person. But he didn't, at least he still texted me back, and I went back to his suburb as I didn't want to ruin my Saturday in a bad mood as well. 
• At first he was unwillingly to come and see me after I was being so mean to him because what I asked was more like a command. But as I was already arrived again, he came all the way to pick me up so we could go somewhere else. Unexpectedly the next minute he told me that his dad left the house, yet without his permission to go to his house, I just started walking to his house. Another wrongdoing of mine for the day that made him upset after he was close to the train station and being called to walk all the way back to his house.
• It was totally a troll today...
• I sincerely apologize here again...sorry poor little panpan
• We finished two episodes of one litre of tears with our entire faces of tears...He wiped tears off my face and combed my hair while we were still watching it. I felt so good being loved by someone other than my mum
• Anyways angry sex was as a punishment to a meanie like me, and my bracelet, which was only fixed up by mum this morning was broken again as he forcefully held my wrists. >.>
• Oh and that panpan was being super random lowering his voice calling me baby, and all those perverted faces were so hilarious and cute>.>
• My ID card was also exposed when he put my broken bracelet into the back pocket of my bag and he found it there...I surrendered to his randomness, also letting him take photo of my ID because it was forced=.=
• My ID left on his bedside though,didn't really know til I was going to the train station
• Lucky I didn't walk far so I waited him to give it back to me
• Oh oh oh another troll of his was texting my friend Vicky back with my phone as Vicky asked if I could be there earlier tonight...Then using his phone to text her back saying that was him who texted her=.= sorry for the inconvenience...*facepalm*....Now I finally know how badly I want to facepalm to this randomness...
• Anyways I was going to meet up with Vicky, he was going to meet up with his gay lo friend. I was half joking half serious begging him to ask his friend to pick me up as well, what he did was to squeeze me like a teddy bear kept telling me IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE....coz...they would be only having dinner in his suburb...Well....*HUMPH* >.>
• My Vicky baby...wait no...I meant my friend Vicky -O- see what you have done to me panpan...
• Yeah...my friend Vicky was waiting at Central for coupler hours as she finished work so early today
• We were going to have dinner and discuss about how to get her clients for math tutoring as well as to promote herself as a great tutor..
• In our way to an undecided restaurant, a Thai Festival was being held at the park near Central, where it was all lively and packed. Performances and a big screen on the stage have captured my attention, the food stalls around it were also full of people. But Vicky didn't really seem that interested to such an event, it was me who pulled her to have a look at the food and left.
• I was even planning to go back there after our dinner but my instinct has told me that I would not make it by the time it closed, which was true...we finished dinner at 9...
• Well...because of me..again....I talked a lot during our dinner time. She was amazed how slow I eat, even slower than her, who is considered as a really slow eater as well. >.>
• Dinner time was finally done. Heading back to the park was not a long way though, it only took us around 20 minutes to get back but everything was closed, that vividness we saw a few hours ago was totally gone...
• We sat on the bench talking for another one hour or so. She told me a lot of problems that are happening to her living environment and her working place. Those complaints of hers have revealed how bad a fast food restaurant manager could be, he even cheated on her to work once. Hence her attempt of quitting a job is not surprising to know, and I also admire of her bravery to report the issue of underpay. I mean, she's right, it's your right, you should fight for your right.
• So basically that one hour of talking was one of the very inspired convo these days, as I am still unemployed, I can't even imagine how it would be like working with co-workers, even though I have always imagined the obstacles I may go through when I really work. But from what she has told me and what others have said, working could be way tougher than having a good life in uni...way much tougher
• In the end, we took two selfies together
• I have thought a lot in my way home. Perhaps, there are way more things for me to do before I am actually ready to face something by myself. But prior to all of that, I need to make so many changes in my life to adapt to various uncertainties laying ahead, including the ones that are already happening right now, and my worriment of not feeling fulfilled...But most importantly is that, the trick of solving life problems is in your hands, whether you want it or not, it's still there. 
• So why are you afraid to make a choice?