Bridge...

It was a right time to receive a text from my sister to move today's tutoring to tomorrow...Oh that girl, must have been a terrible night for her, I know how that feels when insomnia keeps you awake for the whole night :S 

During dinner...wait what...I meant brunch..=.=   *spank my own head* gosh...you must be soooo sleepy, how could you make such a typo=.= yeh..>.> She has been wondering about the number of guys who have crush on me so far, I gave her an ambiguous answer by saying something like hmmmm it really depends on how you see it. I asked her back how she defines couples, she rolled her eyes and said,' maybe hugging? kissing? holding hands?' 'well, hugging and holding hands are becoming really prevalent between friends these days' She raised her eyebrows and gave me a you-must-be-kidding-me look, I continued 'well, mum...we are in Australia...I mean even in China, kids are like that these days anyways.' 

I did try to open myself to her a bit as she asked. I am willing to anyways, hoping she won't judge me when there is one day I decide to tell her everything that I've been hiding from her all these years. That two hours of sharing was worthy, she enjoyed my stories as well as I enjoyed sharing them with a bit of humour. She laughed her head off when I told her one of the guys had given me a disastrous first impression, as he miserably chose the wrong topic to talk about within 2 hours the first time we met at the library..What could be the worst topic? His horniness, when he uncontrollably has made it so obvious that I wanted to run away...It still gives me a shiver whenever I think about I have known such a person...Oh of course there are much more about other guys, some are my supporters, some have been chasing me for years, some put our photo next to his bedside for masturbating purpose, some have given me all these surprises and handmade gifts in our monthsaries, as well as my birthdays, some are more like my unbiological brothers...

My calf love came when I was 12 years old, the time when I just reached puberty. By speaking about the very first guy I ever liked, he may never be a forgotten one in my life. Yes this person is still on my contact list somehow we never talk to each other again for more than 8 years. But because of him, letting me know how temporary love remains in a really young age. I don't master a skill to keep distance from people, it just comes naturally. I reveal, quite emphatically, my persistence to draw a line between people, and that myself is being isolated at a platform. It is all caused by my realization of non-existent promise and love, beautiful yet pitiful.

With this kind of thinking, I still keep searching for better guys to date with. Nobody can be that perfection only if I want to believe that is the perfection. However, now acceptance is the issue for me to have this attempt to change, even a bit...and move forward, regardless of what the future will be like, I am happy to have this guy stays next to me currently.

Just like today, I found us reconnected a lot more from our talk. No expenses on anything except for the dinner, it was just purely a meet up. An outting with talk. We sat at darling harbour for several hours. His hugs kept me warm enough in this cold weather. I shoved my hands into his jacket to feel his body's temperature. I was still kind of speechless in the first 1 hour, been listening to his stories about his ex, his crappy experiences back then and the love triangle that my close friend Eric was involved as well. I only found one thing really not nice to do, which was his ex asked him to chuck the diary :S As I am the one also habitually have been writing diaries as well. It's hard to imagine how heartbroken it is when somebody doesn't even give a shit to your own effort, your love, your time of dedication, and your freaking ink~!! I mocked at that sincerity that has ruptured, it's filled up with irony. Kids seriously don't know what memorabilia means to them...

Anyways, bf's attractiveness emerged when his randomness came up. Also a bit of meaningful talk such as I described him as a simple person with simple experiences. It does make sense sometimes I prefer to have a simple one because knowing myself is already a complicated one, you need to seek the balance not to complicate yourself more by being with a simpler person. Some parts of my untold history is too hard for a person to understand, so let me put it this way: bright side belongs to simplicity...the sphere of no complication is the heaven of happiness. He has brought me with pure happiness, the very nature of happiness that contained nothing but only the happy feeling. No faking a smile or feeling, but laughter and a heartfelt talk...

Later on, we ate sushi :) we still made it before the shop was going to close....We picked 17 dishes so quick that I felt like I couldn't even get to taste every dish slowly. When we were in a rush to finish the food, I was having a hard time to swallow sushi in my mouth. He was still holding my hand even though I was so concentrated to eat my sushi>.>

I was wondering how come my eating amount was so tiny today >.> Oh btw, he saw his basketball friend at central train station then they had a chat about basketball for a bit, the bf invited me to play with them>.> well well well....I definitely need to get some training first...We got on the train, had our little intimate time and this guy with jacket deadly stared at us til he was kind of having this do-not-want-to-see-this-people-making-out-in-the-public face>.> LOL he turned around and faced his back to us hahaha...Back to the basketball thingy, I'd love to play basketball on the weekend so I get to have weekly exercise. Just like what he has told me, I ain't skinny but physically weak...well, that's not something I want to hear either>.>

Yay up to the conclusion finally...and please forgive me switching my mood so fast within the same post lool It's not that absurd to know a changeable person like me carries bizarre characteristics, saying something in depth and the next second, comes all the way back to a simple minded one...My day was awesome as it sounds :) The fun we ought to have in a relationship is possibly one of the most important creations to boost our passion towards each other...I am learning how to gratefully share with someone I care, and I am changing the way of how I deal with serious issues, so that won't be too much burden on another person. But most importantly, it's so hard to get someone to understand you fully. Lowering yourself a bit and take a baby step to turn yourself to the person next to you, giving them an easier access, instead of creating such a hard time throwing them a riddle to solve. That's something I am doing now and I'm appreciated of my own improvement. :)

Thanks for a wonderful day and a wonderful you...