Simplification

幸福可以很简单，活着的时候有爱自己的人和自己爱的人就够了

 One of the secret weapons of happiness is love, one of the quotes I received today has brought this source of insight. Life is made of moments, we are all willing to create and collect the happy ones. Most of the people cannot easily feel, pursuit happiness because they never know the most simple happiness is just right under their feet. It's the ones we love as well as the ones love us.

Unconditional acceptance leads to the unconditional love.  'we don't care about other stuff but your safety, we just want you to be safe all the time.' I've heard this from my parents for uncountable times to the point of it's equivalent to when they ask me to eat more rice...

When I lost myself on the path of seeking other parts of my life, disappointment, disillusion, sentimentality are all taken place...I don't realize how much I have left behind til I look back, those people will never forget to wait for me. I didn't cherish as much as I should have sometimes because they have put me in the state of mind of they are becoming me, and I am them...

Anyways..let's get back to real  life lool...panpan came and picked me up after my tutoring that little kid. Briefly speaking, that kid was easier to handle this time, at least that first half an hour he didn't misbehave. The funny moments were when he wrote a sentence with the word 'donkey', it cracked me up for a few minutes because it didn't fit in the context though it has nothing wrong with the grammar. 'I received a donkey for my birthday present' >.> and when he did the fill-in-the-blank question, which he needed to pick a word from the list of phrases and words. There was this incomplete sentence like 'they___ went to the cinema, they don't go there too often' You know what he filled in there? He wrote 'buckle'...>.> Later I asked him to think again, he then wrote 'waist'...>.> I was like...hmmmm do you know what waist is..it's a part of your body *point at his waist*

That lesson wasn't as bad as the first one...but still...bad...>.> but I guess I've gotten used to it, besides he likes me a lot ;) I don't mind he called me bitch for several times, just like he didn't mind I spanking his head lol

So yeah, once I saw panpan when I went down, we just hugged without saying a word. We hugged each other so tight as if time stood still...As always, I didn't say much in our way to the train station, went to look for a restaurant to eat because he was damn hungry...I ate most of the meat though I said I wasn't hungry>.> 

When we were on the train, he was letting me to listen to 'please tell me why' (chinese version) and I started questioning him and his ex...I was still half believe of his denial when you think his ex has nothing to gain or lose, but him, sure he doesn't want me to know the truth...Before this, we already promised to each other we would walk the harbour bridge together and go back to Luna park, the first place we met, only if we can reach our anniversary~

Got off from central, he didn't talk. I took his silence as his guilt. We sat somewhere at the park under the sun...Two of us just lowered our heads pulling the grass around us in awkwardness...There was not much trust, which makes this relationship quite fragile, as well as some relationships in the past as I hardly trust a person over 80%. I still don't and I will never. He then just walked away asking me to think over it for a few days. Later I texted him, asked him to come back because I seriously didn't want to end up this way. This was once like a Korean drama I watched before. Dramatizing things is faking things, letting me to think about it for more than a few days wouldn't do any good, but bother my life. When he finally came back, I held his hands and hugged him. I sensed he was sobbing on my shoulder once he pulled me closer to him. Silence...Another moment of silence...I found feeling have the estrangement and language how weak and limp when only going teary is the only solution. 

Maybe he was trying to make me apologize so to avoid my interrogation by walking away, I didn't want to say he now is making me more confirmed what I saw him in the first place. Sometimes our vision is clear but we choose to turn a blind eye to things we want to forget. 

Happiness, in other words, is generated from simplicity. I just need to be simpler to see the brightness is waiting for me right at the corner. 

Lastly, we still had our own happy time there at the park, my puppy eyes made him stay for another 45 minutes lool This is what you call a simple life, you just gotta learn how to switch from simple to complicated at once... Everlasting joy only belongs to those people who are easily to be contented....

PS: started making her gift before I went to sleep, already wrote up 1000 words in 20 minutes for her super long letter :)