Part 1: Morning...it wasn't a good morning
This is really embarrassing to say that I am still told off by mum occasionally and the reason is: I eat too slow, I don't chew properly, I stuff food into my mouth too much so that has caused me to eat even slower...And the fact is: The fact... like what she said...
So this morning, I put off the snooze button and went back to sleep for another half an hour. She then woke me up at 7:30, asked me to eat toast with a cup of hot chocolate. Should I say that I have no appetite at all when I am just awake, who knows, I don't feel the hunger and I eat damn slow. She was mad just by seeing me chewing, been rambling a lot like a bugging fly. I had this attempt to put a sticky tape onto her mouth so I could have a more peaceful breakie. But no, I couldn't go any further than that, not even up to my imagination because she's quite bossy all the time. I then just asked why she doesn't go back to sleep, it was just a motive to ask her to get away from me. She then said 'Can't I watch you to eat?' I then replied 'I do not want you to watch me to eat that's why I ask you to go to sleep..and imagine if someone has been picking on how you don't eat properly while staring at you in this early morning, WOULD YOU FEEL GOOD HUH?'
like OPPPSSSSS ....BIG OPPPPPSSSS.....That got her even more furious right after I couldn't hold it anymore...(blah blah blah blah blah....) says... 'if you don't want to get yelled at then CHANGE, CHANGE! you can't endure others' criticism just this tiny bit? then what about when you work in the future, your boss totally tells you off, you gonna give them this dirty face? (these two issues are not even relatable but yes....women are good at making association to two separable things...)
So that was a really unpleasant breakie, I am not saying the toast was bad, indeed it was just dried...(I seriously don't like dry food in the morning, it's too hard to swallow)
Ok...You think this is what I called a bad morning? Nope...
Then I left my house, caught on the train and sat there quietly like everyone else. I suddenly felt my thighs/ somewhere around so icy, a really bad feeling as if my skin was sliced into pieces. As I put my bag onto my thighs, I didn't know what happened there until I found out that half of my jeans was wet with unknown liquid. I took a second thought: NO...I am not wetting my jeans right!? or I am being hyper-insensitive? This can't be true!!
Then I sat tight, kept quiet and thought about what to do, until then, I was getting even wetter and wetter with coldness. A realization just came up in my mind: My freaking water bottle!! is leaking?!?!?
Bag was already soaked, and I looked like that I wet my pants like a 3 year old with two regional wet areas along my thighs...I took my bottle out of my bag, wiped the surface, my bag, my legs and my toes with a bag of tissues. I just hope nobody thought I had some problem with my bladder or some sort...Because it was embarrassing enough to signal that it wasn't what they thought it was...I kept calm, acted nothing has happened, walked out of the gate and went straight to the toilet to clean myself again, even took my jeans off to see if it really terribly wet like a map behind...Luckily it's been a fine and sunny day today, even luckier is that my jeans are not that easy to tell if it's wet or not...
Part 2: Embrace this moment
I am starting to LOVE uni, or is it too late to start liking uni? lol since I've been staying here for almost 2 years, I only start having this affection to like UNSW...Nah, perhaps it's just too hard for me to LOVE anything/ into anything...
But yes, admittedly I like how I can meet so many awesome people in so many ways. Joining this conversation group for the second time, I have found quite a few/ most of them are so wonderfully to be friend with. A place is not literally a setting but a pathway to look for your opportunity to viscerally express yourself to others, even more like an institution that is beautified with all these thoughtful souls.
This Korean guy was so hilarious to ask if I have slept well last night once I got in, and that was the first time we met in the first conversation class lol These two girls seem like they have bigger dreams and goals to achieve, just like me, who never satisfy with current life but keep going for a better one. They have been talking a lot, a lot that you can't even interject by any chance unless they paused a bit. In the first half an hour, they have been talking about politics, election, constitution, government policies in relation to other countries etc. But I felt integrated even though half of the time, I was being a listener but I really enjoyed receiving others' opinions about something that is valuable and insightful. This Korean guy even has told us about plastic surgery, it was really amazing to have a multicultural conversation with all of them. When they have mentioned about translation, that painful look on that girl's face is so impressively cute lol The low self-esteem from what she said has also reminded me of myself. I asked them about the translation program and they also suggested me to do the course in tafe since it would be much more practical than uni.
Then the first section ended happily, none of them left and I stayed as well. Here comes with our group conversation with the new people. We talked about what we wanted to be when we were young compare to what we would like to be after we graduate. Age does change the way you used to plan your life. I do too. I have thought about being a scientist, a translator, a diplomat, a writer and now a backstage designer. The girl right next to me said she wanted to be a farmer. In fact, being a farmer in Australia would be able to get rich in some day lol This guy then told us he wanted to be a taxi driver when he was younger then he realized it's a dodgy bad paid job after he grows older...We all once had naive thought and plans about what our future will be like though it usually will not turn out to be the one we want, but we keep fighting for our dreams. Tammy, our mentor is also the one full of experiences telling us how great her journeys were, and how all these have changed her life. Another girl who also seems really experienced has told us she's studying law as well, same as Tammy. I worship law people to the max :) After she has shared her life story, her dream career and what she's working as now, I asked her age, she told me she's 28, got married with a dutch. Similarly, she has quit uni for half a year then came back just to get a master degree in law. I can tell how outgoing she is, this is just relatively based on the way she talks. She made the whole class so lively :)
We no longer live in a static state during this time of changing with advanced technology and more and more geniuses overwhelmingly are discovered. It gives me a good sense of belonging as I have found this soulful feeling towards this discussion. If you have ever thought/ rethought/ contemplated what you will end up with, or you just have no idea/ so lost to even think about it. Be voluntarily take some actions from whatever chances are given out there, whatever you can do to create some stories for your life because experience acts as fundamental fuel and asset to integrate yourself to the larger community..We don't want to leave a blank page here do we?
Lastly..how do you define a promising future...what's your option? go with the flow? go after your dreams?
PS: I like Lady gaga because she IS herself, she doesn't ACT....authentic and wild, let's give her some applause!!
(Official) Applause-Lady gaga
No comments:
Post a Comment