14th of Feb, a lovely love day for everybody who can spend some time with their love ones. But don't forget to express how much you love them and miss them when they aren't around.
The beginning of the day has already put me in a desperate situation that I was seeking for someone to talk to at 6am after I woke up from a depressing dream. I dreamed of the one who used to be there supporting me for 2 whole years, even when we were doing our hsc, we have made a promise that we would be holding each other's hands to go into USYD if we both could make it. And time machine has once again brought me back to 2011 when we were still close, I was so happy to see him standing next to me that I could look so close at his face. I only wish, it was more than a dream but I found out I was only lying on my bed as soon as I was awake, and leaving me with pain that I got from recalling the past. Nothing can be the same as before, but I still wanted to greet him on this Valentine's, as a friend by sending him a long message. If I ever want to do something, I will go for it because having a hesitation might change your decision, and you'll be regretting this when you look back one day. I think I may not have this bravery to send him one long message again until I truly realise how important he still means to me, he was more like one of my family members after we have shared too much in everything...But yeah...nothing can be the same as before...
Ok...just a side story before I actually started my valentine's with my bf panpan. This is the first Valentine's of his, so it has to be awesome. :) We both thought that we would be having a bad one this year as we weren't really happy in the morning. But as I just said, don't do anything regret in your life, don't waste a day being upset and let happiness fly away, and don't let anger get in your way. I jogged, and I thought to myself that it was just so wrong of me being irrationally emotional to someone who didn't seem to do anything wrong, perhaps he did, and he never noticed little thing that I care, but what's a big deal? I didn't want to have an upsetting Valentine's because you'll never know whether this will be your last Valentine's with this person in this missed opportunity. Life is a short journey so each day should be valued as the last day in this journey...In today's journey, I took quite a few pictures of my artistic masterpieces using some branches and leaves to create the heart shapes, and to write my message on the earth at the park. Each of them carries similar meaning to feature the idea of 'love'. If I've ever got some bit of time to edit my work, I could have turned them into a mini booklet, as I already had this attempt to do so, yet I was too tired to do anything when I got back home. But at least he was happy to receive my simple Valentine's gift. However, sorry to say that he must have felt so rejected and sad when he was told that I wouldn't wear that sexy dress as I was unhappy before, but I changed my mind at the end, just for making me look good, and him to be happier.
Anyways, first ex was alone because his gf's sick, which has made her not be able to go to his house to have dinner with him so I talked to him for a bit on wechat, trying to cheer him up. And Lin was arrived at Gold Coast today, she was surprised to discover how relaxing the lifestyle Aussies have lool
So I was late >.> for Valentine's outting... He was supposed to get on my carriage once we got there at Redfern but it was too slow of me to tell him that. Instead, he walked all the way back to look for me somewhere in the middle carriage. He was looking good today. I saw him approaching me with a rose in his hand, and a brown teddy bear in another. We hugged and had our lovey dovey time together. Somebody was attracted to my sexy see through dress and being so touchy feely. For me, wearing dresses and skirts is a reason for me to be more ladylike because doing asian squat in a dress is just...weird...
I love the brown teddy and flower, thank you panpan :) We pretty much didn't know we missed our stop til we saw Kings Cross LOL Mind you Martin place is one stop before that, so remember this next time haha He and I had our corns outside of the train station once we got to Martin Place. Staying there for 30 minutes chit chatting random things and watching randoms walking in and out, laughing at the police disobeying the rules and clumsily jumping over the gate. He thanked my mum's corns by sending her a message and they talked a bit.
I was brought to a chocolate place as I expected. This would be one of the sweetest things to do on Valentine's as you share the sweetness of the chocolate with someone you like. But it's a bad idea to be distracted by wechatting your friends like what I did in the beginning after we ordered our chocolate set, I didn't talk to him much but wechatted my friend Lin and my unhappy ex. I could feel a sense of anger was coming from him...Anyways...Yes...don't do that to your bf especially on Valentine's...
After the chocolate place, we decided to walk around Martin place because that was the first time I've ever been here. There were so many rhinos located in around the city, I found one covered with zebra patterned and I took a picture of it with my phone. Even luckier, we saw a married couple sitting in the car waving at people when we were going to cross the road. Guess today is really a good day, and Martin place is such a good place for valentines :) The design of the architectures there are so admirable as well, I couldn't find a reason not to capture all these stylish buildings.
Panpan was a bit bored taking me around while I spent most of my time taking pictures though, until then, he found that big park where it's near the library of NSW. The first thing we did was to ensure if we could get access in it. The continuation of taking photos wasn't avoidable once I saw how beautiful the park is. And I, was quite amazed of the fantastic view of those architectures were seen in different angles. Somehow we entered a garden where I felt like I was embraced by patches of flowers around and they made me look so pretty in the photos haha xD
Panpan said that some people had look back to me due to my sexiness today. Yeh right, that see through dress really did enhance the shape of my breasts. Now I understand why girls can gain their confidence back once they have push-up bras, but I've always been wondering how much visual enjoyment guys can get everytime when they see a sexy girl on the street...Anyways panpan and I lied down on the lawn somewhere close to the bush in order to have some private time there. We talked a lot from our recent life to our past, such as something that I've never mentioned before. His curiosity towards my outtings with my first ex when I went back to China last holidays was also one of the most questionable issues he wanted to know much more. I had a lot of fun being in a talkative mood telling him much more about my family members, and he told me back some of his. I didn't know how much we have talked but I only knew that it was quite a long chat, the longest chat I've ever had with him in person. No silence, no awkwardness, humor, laughter, and full of passion as a couple. It's been really hard to feel right to talk to him, I seriously feel wrong when there is no mutual emotions between us, and sometimes he's more of someone who only waits for me to shut up so he can start talking again, rather than being a good listener. In general, just wrong.
But thanks for Valentine's, I seem to overcome this problem a lot, as well as the intimidating feeling he has given me when we talk from time to time. Time flies, neither of us realised how long we had been talking on the lawn until this guy came to tell us the park was going to close. We then went to the closest Japanese restaurant, ordered a big plate of different sashimi and a salad as our Valentine's dinner. There was still a lot of fun during dinner time, unlike before, there would be full silence between us two. However I was captured with so many derpy face photos when I ate yet his photos were looking so good in my point of view.
To end the Valentine's well, he took me home as always. And I waited for the train with him at the platform, we had our passionate time together in the remaining half an hour, I assume that sexiness does add a lot of excitement to a relationship. Even though doing such a thing in public is certainly not recommended, but sometimes you may want to go wild on some special occasions, and Valentine's will definitely be one of them...
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