Shocking news (19th of Jan)

Starting from the day I was being quite emotional because the loneliness has hit due to someone was still not home til 12-ish...hence I talked to quite a few people on FB to release my stress. One of them was my ex's brother, who is also a mature one like his brother, has told me his deep thought about what/how I should solve my problems in a way of doing what I really want, instead of to please someone. But in this case, that someone is my mum, knowing what's really in my mind would get her hurt so much...and I don't want that to happen.. But thanks for showing all the caring and some advice the best he could give to help me relax a bit. His inner peace gotten from a lot of meditation. With this, he is able to make proper decision and not to be afraid of the scariest. To his suggestion, maybe I should seriously try this to overcome some of my problems as well. I love how he asked me there is only one way to make yourself feel happy in my case, which is simply to accept yourself. I suddenly felt so glad for Kael to have such a brother. If only...if only I can have such a great brother like him, to share some of my problems and stress when I feel so lost and have nobody to turn to, perhaps I would have been much happier from time to time. Anyways lastly I asked him to say hi to Kael as I wasn't sure whether he was online. Right after I told him to do so, Kael popped up on FB and asked me why I don't say hi to him myself, then we chatted a bit about his brother, as well as his busy life. By the time I was heading off to bed, le panpan came online again asking if I was still here...We then talked until 4am this morning. Those voice recordings he sent are so cute and sweet specially the ones he said in the beginning. They almost got me cry as I was inclined to be emotional. The tone he spoke was attempted to make me laugh, and he did it. Thanks for panpan's effort to cheer me up, I seriously like that childishness :)

I basically only had two hours of sleep. I was awaken by mum's shouting at 6:30, asking me to go jogging. The only thing I have thought was, I have to do this, I can't stop this. Since that grim determination I have had the first time I made this decision, I have to continue this no matter what...I jogged along the park for two times, seeing the same people at the park almost everyday makes me have this feeling of how I should be more enjoying life, they all go to the park for well-being purpose, so do I. After I came back from jogging, I had such a great fun teasing mum around, tickling her belly fat fat whilst she tickled me back. I even asked her to move rightward a bit because I needed to start doing my 8 mins abs workout on the floor. That 8 mins of workout worth a go, I'd like to see how much it'd change me. 

If anyone thinks I am clingy, maybe I am. And I am pretty sure I got it from my beloved mum. She passes this to me. You can tell when two of us still have shower together, talk about something dirty yet never feel embarrassed or shy, call each other beautiful and have a lot of physical contact such as I rub my ass against hers, hug her from the back like what her husband would do, pinch her face, and stare at each other's faces, do all those cutie faces that two best friends would do. I believe mum and I have gone beyond the most intimate level of any pairs of mother and daughter that I've seen so far. 

Apart from everything above, I slept like a pig for 2 hours each before and after lunch. After I woke up again by mum's spanking. My potential step dad walked out from her room when I got out from mine. We had a grateful dinner together tonight though he has told two of us about a shocking news of what happened to his nieces who also live in here. There are so many similar incidents happen throughout this world, but when something really happens to your family, I don't think anyone can stay calm and report to the higher authority alone. I truly bow to his bravery here. And I hope that everything will be alright at the end. It is an extremely hard decision to be made when it considers both nieces that he has the need to take care of, but who really has most of the responsibility here, the man or the women? That's something should be most struggling with when making that decision...Best of luck though...

PS: my calligraphy status update on FB is really from my inner voice...I do need to give my life a makeover..